Ranking the Bosses of ‘Dark Souls II – Scholar of the First Sin’

Since I ranked the bosses of the first Dark Souls game, I figured that I should also rank the bosses of the second game.

I played through this game a few times but not as many times as I played through the original game. There are reasons for this, as I explain in my review of the game. Mostly, I just didn’t enjoy the overall experience as much as the first game.

But as I stated in my previous list, I wanted to take the experience of playing through this multiple times to rank the bosses by how difficult I’ve found them to be overall.

My list certainly is my own and the more I talk to others that have an affinity for this series, we all seem to have a very different take on which bosses gave us the most trouble. I guess, this also has to do with play style and character type.

In the end, though, these are how I’d rank the bosses I’ve faced from hardest to easiest.

1. Ancient Dragon
2. Sinh, The Slumbering Dragon
3. Fume Knight
4. Sir Alonne
5. Blue Smelter Demon
6. Vendrick
7. Afflicted Graverobber, Ancient Soldier and Cerah the Old Explorer
8. Darklurker
9. Orange Smelter Demon
10. Lud and Zallen, The King’s Pets
11. Burnt Ivory King
12. Elana, Squalid Queen
13. Aldia, Scholar of the First Sin
14. Demon of Song
15. Aava, The King’s Pet
16. The Rotten
17. Throne Watcher and Throne Defender
18. The Pursuer (the first one)
19. Lost Sinner
20. Velstadt, The Royal Aegis
21. Looking Glass Knight
22. Nashandra
23. Old Iron King
24. Giant Lord
25. The Duke’s Dear Freja
26. Executioner’s Chariot
27. Belfry Gargoyles
28. Ruin Sentinels
29. Old Dragonslayer
30. Twin Dragonriders
31. Scorpioness Najka
32. Guardian Dragon
33. Flexile Sentry
34. The Skeleton Lords
35. Mytha, The Baneful Queen
36. Dragonrider
37. The Last Giant
38. Royal Rat Authority
39. Covetous Demon
40. Prowling Magus and Congregation
41. Royal Rat Vanguard

Video Game Review: Dark Souls II – Scholar of the First Sin (PlayStation 4)

I may come off sounding like a total dick in this review but after the experience that was the first Dark Souls game, this one was a grave disappointment while still being pretty decent for the most part.

My initial gripe with it was that I hated how they changed the stat system to deliberately make the game harder, as well as how upon each death, you lose 10 percent of your total health bar unless you return to human form after being hollowed. To do that, though, you have to consume a human effigy, which early on in the game are very rare. Plus, they’re a limited item. Using them all up too soon, fucks you as the game gets even harder.

The beginning of this game is exceedingly difficult, even more so than the original game. Initially, the controllers felt off and I later learned that you needed to build up your “adaptability” stat in order to properly back-step and dodge-roll. So with that little bullshit tweak to the system, you’re kind of fucked on employing the defensive techniques that became second nature after the first game.

Beyond that, the hit boxes are a nightmare. Multiple times, I was standing behind an enemy to go for the good ol’ backstab and he killed me, even though he attacked forward, which was in the opposite direction of my character.

Also, the game does some real bullshittery with the targeting system, which caused me to die a. fucking. lot!

Additionally, the overall world is kind of boring even if it does look incredible. The first game blew my mind on how every area was interconnected in neat and creative ways, giving you multiple paths to hit or escape from an area. This game just has paths and each path is pretty straightforward and linear. It makes the game’s world less immersive and a lot more basic. It’s a major step backwards for how well-crafted the first game’s world was.

Another issue was that there are just so many knight-type villains that it gets tiresome and boring fighting all the various types of essentially the same enemy. This also carries over into the boss fights, which were mostly superpowered knights that you kind of approach and fight in the same way.

Sure, there are other villain types but you basically have four categories: knights/hollows, dragons/beasts, sorcerers and annoying shit (like the ice porcupines and the crawling poison spitter critters).

With that being said, the game gets repetitive and boring and while I’d get these spurts of energy upon entering a new area, I’d soon find out that it was full of similar shit with a different skin.

Plus, the boss fights in this seem to be a hell of a lot harder than the first game, which was super damn hard on its own. Except, the boss battles aren’t hard for reasons other than the bosses have huge health bars, your weapons do minimal damage and you basically have to dodge-roll multiple attacks and then get in one or two quick hits, assuming you don’t need to replenish your health. These fights are just long, tiresome and lack any real creativity.

And frankly, the game, as a whole, lacks the creativity of the original. This was pretty surprising to me but upon investigation, I learned that Hidetaka Miyazaki, the series’ creator, wasn’t as involved on this game as much as he was on the previous one because he was developing Bloodborne, a game I look forward to playing in the near future.

Lastly, as far as negatives go, I just wasn’t into this story like I was the first game. Yes, these games actually have very minimal story but the lore and mystery of the first game really captivated me while this one seemed like a simple rehash that lacked passion.

Are there positives? Well, sure.

This is a Dark Souls game and if you like the first one, you’ll generally like this one too, in spite of its myriad of problems. You still get overwhelmed by a genuine sense of accomplishment when you finally beat that tough boss that killed you a dozen times or when you find that very helpful shortcut after trying to conquer a nightmare of an area for a day or two. And honestly, that’s the most important factor in these games for me. I love the way they make me feel, as a lifelong gamer, because they throw you against impossible odds and it takes the development of real skill to adapt to and eventually crush these challenges.

Look, I don’t hate Dark Souls II but I also don’t have this burning desire to run through the entire game three or four times like I did the first one. Honestly, I just feel like I’m done with it and I should move on to Dark Souls III with the hope that it corrected the problems this game had.

Rating: 7.5/10

Film Review: The Double 0 Kid (1992)

Release Date: 1992 (Italy)
Directed by: Duncan McLachlan
Written by: Steven Paul, Stuart Paul, Andrea Buck, Duncan McLachlan
Music by: Misha Segal
Cast: Corey Haim, Nicole Eggert, John Rhys-Davies, Brigitte Nielsen, Wallace Shawn, Karen Black, Seth Green

Crystal Sky Worldwide, Prism Entertainment Corporation, 95 Minutes

Review:

While I liked Corey Haim when I was a kid, he did make a fuck ton of dreck, as time went on. This is, hands down, one of his worst films that I’ve ever seen.

What’s surprising about it, though, is that this is loaded with a good amount of known actors, all of whom I like. But none of them were really able to carry this movie and salvage the abysmally bad script.

Alongside Haim, there’s Nicole Eggert, who I was crushing on in the late ’80s/early ’90s, as well as John Rhys-Davies, Wallace Shawn, Brigitte Nielsen, Karen Black and Seth Green.

The story is about a really smart kid that dreams of being a spy. However, he basically plays the stoner trope without actually being a stoner because I guess this was made to be somewhat family friendly for the straight-to-video market.

It’s just terribly boring, terribly unfunny and is full of so many baffling, weird bits that you have to suspend disbelief to the point of breaking your brain or your television.

There’s some strange video game/virtual reality/simulator subplot that makes no fucking sense if you understand how those things work.

If this ever pops up as a suggestion on a streaming service, my only advice is to run… very fast.

Rating: 2/10