Film Review: Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)

Release Date: March, 1987
Directed by: Andy Sidaris
Written by: Andy Sidaris
Music by: Kevin Klinger, Gary Stockdale
Cast: Ronn Moss, Dona Speir, Harold Diamond, Hope-Marie Carlton, Cynthia Brimhall, Rodrigo Obregon

Malibu Bay Films, 96 Minutes

Review:

“Look at you two… Every shot, a postcard! I’m gonna give you the best seat in the house!” – Ashley

As much as I enjoyed Malibu Express, I assumed all the other movies in Andy Sidaris’ Triple B Series would taper off in quality. Well, I’m glad to say that this one is slightly better than its predecessor.

I think a lot of that has to do with this one embracing its comedic elements even more and being pretty over-the-top with the more bonkers shit.

It also helps that this film features Harold Diamond, who was always enjoyable in the movies he did with a similar cult action director, Amir Shervan.

While you could write this off as more of the same, I liked the buddy-action approach, as well as dumping in more Playboy Playmates and sexiness.

That being said, this did look a bit cheaper than the film before it. That doesn’t necessarily make it worse in that regard, it just made it so that the special effects people had to get more creative and they certainly did and succeeded. But you also have to suspend disbelief when the one dude is using a bazooka pretty recklessly but that just makes this picture more fun and absurd, in a great way.

This is absolutely a cheesy action movie but it’s also supposed to be. It felt like Sidaris was self-aware after making just one film and he took advantage of that, giving us a flick that didn’t try to pretend it was something better than it was. It knew its limitations but turned them into amusing strengths.

Rating: 6.5/10
Pairs well with: the other 11 films in the Triple B Series by Andy Sidaris, as well as the American films of Amir Shervan.

Film Review: Malibu Express (1985)

Release Date: March, 1985
Directed by: Andy Sidaris
Written by: Andy Sidaris
Music by: Henry Strzelecki
Cast: Darby Hinton, Sybil Danning, Lynda Wiesmeier, Lori Sutton, Art Metrano, Shelley Taylor Morgan, Regis Philbin, Joy Philbin

Andy Sidaris Company, Malibu Bay Films, 105 Minutes

Review:

“Did you hear that she got raped this afternoon by two homosexuals? One held her down and the other one did her hair.” – Liza Chamberlain

I’ve wanted to watch Andy Sidaris’ movies for quite awhile, especially this one and Hard Ticket to Hawaii. Luckily, I found the entire collection of his twelve films on Amazon for nine bucks. Yes, nine bucks! It’s a fucking steal! Buy it!

Well, that is unless you don’t like goofy action comedies with Playboy Playmates, cool dudes with guns and fast cars, as well as crime stories littered with bumbling, idiot criminals.

These films also feature stunts, lots of vehicles and budgets so low that over-the-top special effects have to be crafted out of chicken shit and dirt.

Malibu Express may be the biggest budget film of the lot (adjusted for inflation) and it doesn’t fall victim to as minuscule of a budget as the other films that came later but it’s definitely not “big budget” and had to cut corners and trim unnecessary fat.

Sidaris and his crew still did the best with what they had and the look of the production is more akin to a moderately budgeted action TV series of the ’80s, as opposed to looking like something made for less than the cost of a small house in the Hollywood Hills.

I love the lead, Darby Hinton. I also love all the beautiful women that are often times devoid of clothes. Plus, this has Art Metrano in it. I only really know him as Mauser from the Police Academy movies but I’ve loved that guy my entire life. Add in Sybil Danning and this is a solid mix of fun talent in a fun movie that’s amusing and high octane.

Sure, this is low brow schlock that got shoved into drive-in theaters and budget movie houses but it’s also what I would call an ’80s VHS classic. And frankly, that makes this the type of action comedy I tend to love.

I can’t say that I was impressed by Malibu Express but I can say that it didn’t disappoint me or leave me with buyer’s remorse. It’s pretty much exactly what I thought it would be.

Rating: 6.25/10
Pairs well with: the other eleven films in Andy Sidaris’ Triple B Series, as well as the American films of Iranian director Amir Shervan.