Vids I Dig 497: Filmento: ‘Underwater’: How to Fail at ‘Alien’

From Filmento’s YouTube description: As if 2019’s Charlie’s Angels reboot wasn’t already a failure enough, Kristen Stewart returns in yet another forgettable box office flop that nobody saw, Underwater. This time it’s an original movie that sold back in 2015, and even though there are positive aspects about it, overall all it ends up being is yet another reason after Gemini Man for Hollywood not to make original material. The main problem here is that Underwater completely fails at being the very thing it tries so hard to be: an underwater version of Ridley Scott’s Alien. Today let’s see what went wrong. Here’s how not to Alien.

Film Review: Deadpool 2 (2018)

Also known as: DP2 (promotional abbreviation), Daisy, Love Machine (both fake working titles)
Release Date: May 10th, 2018 (US limited)
Directed by: David Leitch
Written by: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Ryan Reynolds
Based on: the character of Deadpool created by Fabian Nicieza, Rob Liefeld
Music by: Tyler Bates
Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin, Morena Baccarin, Julian Dennison, Zazie Beetz, T.J. Miller, Brianna Hildebrand, Jack Kesy, Leslie Uggams, Karan Soni, Terry Crews, Lewis Tan, Bill Skarsgård, Rob Delaney, Brad Pitt (cameo), James McAvoy (cameo), Evan Peters (cameo), Tye Sheridan (cameo), Nicholas Hoult (cameo), Hugh Jackman (archive footage), Alan Tudyk

Marvel Entertainment, Kinberg Genre, The Donners’ Company, 20th Century Fox, 119 Minutes

Review:

“I was born into war, bred into it. People think they understand pain, but they have no concept of it. What’s the most pain you’ve ever felt? Maybe the kind that leaves you more machine than man. ” – Cable

*There be spoilers here!

After what felt like too long of a wait but was actually only 27 months, Deadpool 2 has arrived. I guess if I were to sum up the experience in one word, that word would be “consistent”.

The film is very consistent to the first movie but it had a few things that were better and a few things that weren’t, which makes it break even, as to whether or not it was better or worse.

The positives were the addition of new cast members and the genesis of what is going to become the X-Force team.

Josh Brolin’s Cable is everything you would want a Josh Brolin Cable to be. I think the casting of Brolin was perfect and one hell of a great move and lucky break for this pocket of the X-Men film franchise.

Zazie Beetz’s Domino was really fun to watch and while I love the old school X-Force comics, which Domino was a big part of, this version of the character eclipses the comic book version. Plus, most of the Domino stories I remember were actually just Copycat posing as Domino because I stopped reading X-Force about a year after Rob Liefeld left and the X-Cutioner’s Song crossover ended.

The negatives or really just the one big one for me was that the plot seemed all over the place and kind of aimless at times. Lots of things happened that seemed way too convenient despite the film actually making note of that once or twice, especially with Deadpool’s “lazy writing” jab at his own film. Joke aside, poking fun at it doesn’t necessarily excuse the parts where it happens.

It’s just that the first film felt more refined and more fluid. This one propelled forward at a good pace but it seemed like it was all over the place. There also wasn’t a clearly defined villain, which isn’t a necessary component but I felt like Deadpool and Cable’s first meeting and eventual team-up should have come with a real threat other than just trying to save a kid from his anger. I was kind of hoping that Stryfe would at least appear, even if only to setup the X-Force film.

Juggernaut shows up and his bits are great but he’s really just there to setup a cool fight with Colossus. Also, you get Black Tom Cassidy but he was totally wasted and just sort of a prison thug that ends up getting killed in the lamest way possible. We didn’t get to see the BFF pairing of Black Tom and Juggernaut like we got to see in the earliest Deadpool solo stories and in the original X-Force run. I really hoped we were going to get to see Cassidy and Juggernaut form their villain tag team that was a thorn in Deadpool’s side back in the early ’90s.

My favorite part of the film was the mid-credits sequence, actually. This is packed full of some really cool stuff and more great moments of Ryan Reynolds poking fun at himself.

Deadpool 2 was good but it was a wee bit of a disappointment. With the mythos getting richer with new characters people have wanted to see for years, this should have taken the franchise to the next level. They had a solid foundation, new tools to work with and a world to branch out into. I’m hoping that X-Force, whenever that arrives, takes things to that next level.

Rating: 8/10
Pairs well with: Obviously the first Deadpool film and Logan for being the only other R rated X-Men related film. I’d also pair this up with Legion, which is TV’s more mature take on the X-Men universe, although it’s nowhere near as hilarious as Deadpool.

Film Review: Ready Player One (2018)

Release Date: March 11th, 2018 (SXSW)
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Written by: Zak Penn, Ernest Cline
Based on: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
Music by: Alan Silvestri
Cast: Tye Sheridan, Olivia Cooke, Ben Mendelsohn, T.J. Miller, Simon Pegg, Mark Rylance, Letitia Wright, Clare Higgins, McKenna Grace

Village Roadshow Pictures, Amblin Entertainment, De Line Pictures, Farah Films & Management, Warner Bros., 140 Minutes

Review:

“People come to the Oasis for all the things they can do, but they stay for all the things they can be.” – Parzival

*There be spoilers here!

The first thing that people who read the book are going to ask is, “How much did they change?” The short answer is, “Everything.”

In fact, there is so much that has changed that it’s too much to list out. As my friend Greg said once the credits started rolling, “They should change it to say ‘vaguely inspired by Ready Player One.'” And that’s pretty much how I feel, as someone who read the book first.

The main thing that this film is lacking is heart and soul. The book did a decent job building up characters and making the first time meetings meaningful and sweet, the film just drops the real humans in with no warning, halfway through the story. In the book, none of these people actually meet until the very end, as they unite in the real world for the big final battle.

And for some reason, maybe because Spielberg is besties with George Lucas, this version has some sort of “rebellion” that already exists and abducts Parzival in an effort to get him to join. This leads to him meeting Artemis before the midpoint of the film. In the book, she’s so freaked out by her own appearance that she won’t actually meet Parzival until the very end. Here, her birthmark was something that could be easily covered up with foundation. I’ve seen plenty of girls who have looked far worse without makeup… hell, with makeup. And in a world where most people are poverty stricken and dirty with facial tattoos, the whole thing is ridiculous.

The biggest problem with the movie is it took a decent book with some good ideas and it made them worse. I was hoping that Spielberg could put his hand in the story and use his magic to fix up the weaker bits. But the story is so different than the book that those weak bits are gone. Sadly, they’re replaced with something much more superficial, artificial and monotonous.

Every time that something with real weight happened in this movie, it didn’t have the weight that it did in the book. I think the book benefits from having Wade/Parzival tell his story from the first-person point-of-view. The movie is just a movie without any narration, internal monologue or anything that can really add more the the story. You just don’t feel anything for these people, their situation or the events themselves. The film needs a lot more seasoning.

Additionally, the challenges were terrible. The first one is a motor race with a small detail no one was able to crack for over five years. Yet anytime a new video game comes out in the real world, our real world, some guy on YouTube finds all the Easter eggs and secrets within the first 24 hours of playing it. But in a future world where the population is probably double what it is now, where everyone is obsessed with solving the first challenge, not one single person thought to themselves, “I wonder what will happen if I drive backwards?” In reality, some noob would’ve done it by mistake and solved the puzzle.

The second challenge brought the characters into a recreation of The Shining but as cool as it was initially, it still didn’t measure up to the similar sequences in the book, where Parzival had to reenact a role in a film from start to finish. Whatever. We ended up with The Shining being populated by dancing, green glowing zombies for some reason.

The final gate was the closest to the original version but was still a heavily altered and simplified version.

One thing I was hoping would make it in the movie was the battle between Ultraman and Mechagodzilla during the big finale. Ultraman was replaced with a Gundam. Mechagodzilla was there but the design was something new and looked more like a generic metal dinosaur than any version of Mechagodzilla we’ve ever seen.

And what the hell was with Sorrento leaving his password right on his pod? Make your password something you can remember that way you don’t get easily hacked? You’re the top dog in the second largest corporation in the friggin’ world and you basically wore a t-shirt saying, “Please hack me! My password is…” I can’t accept the stupidity of this plot point, he’s not an assistant principal from a John Hughes movie. Plus, in the film they dumb him down and make him rely solely on the knowledge of his minions, as opposed to being savvy on his own and only calling for backup when stumped.

The film fails in comparison to the book and the book was hardly a literary classic. I could pontificate about all the shit I didn’t like and take this review to 5000-plus words but I think I’ve made my point about the negative side of the equation here.

On the side of positives there is sadly only really a few.

One, Mark Rylance was fantastic as Halliday and played the character in a way that was even better than what I saw in my own head while reading the book. He was really the only character I felt a connection to by the end of the film. Which is sad, as he’s barely in it.

Another positive is that it was fun in the right sort of way but it still wasn’t enough to make up for the soullessness and randomness of this adaptation.

I can’t think of another positive.

The biggest highlight of the film was the big battle at the end but it was still a mess. There were so many pop culture references running around on the screen that it was hard to focus on any one of them and you just sort of see this mish mash of shit where if the camera stops moving for one second, you might make out a Battletoad, Spawn, Ryu or a Ninja Turtle. But at least Chucky from Child’s Play got to kick some ass for a few seconds.

I don’t know, man. I had high hopes for this and I left the theater feeling empty and completely unemotional. This was like a vacuum that sucked everything out of me for well over two hours. I walked out of the theater a dumbfounded blank.

This film is like an excited toddler showing you all their toys by throwing them at your face with the speed of the Flash for two hours and twenty minutes. There is no real semblance of a plot, just toys bouncing off of your face and incomprehensible toddler rambling.

Also, Spielberg produces those terrible Michael Bay Transformers movies. This was the perfect opportunity to use accurate looking Autobots and Decpeticons. I mean, what the shit, dude?! You’re telling me the G1 versions of Optimus Prime and Megatron aren’t avatars in the Oasis?

Between the execution of this film and Spielberg’s weird comments about Netflix the other day, I think homeboy is starting to show his age.

Lastly, Zak Penn is awful. Truly, awful. How does he keep getting hired to write shit?

Rating: 4.75/10
Pairs well with: Maybe the novel it is “based on” but the book is superior.

Film Review: Goon: Last of the Enforcers (2017)

Release Date: March 17th, 2017 (Canada)
Directed by: Jay Baruchel
Written by: Jay Baruchel, Jesse Chabot
Music by: Trevor Morris
Cast: Seann William Scott, Jay Baruchel, Alison Pill, Marc-André Grondin, Kim Coates, Liev Schreiber, Jonathan Cherry, Wyatt Russell, Elisha Cuthbert, T.J. Miller, Tyler Seguin, Michael Del Zotto, Brandon Prust, George Parros, Colton Orr, Georges Laraque

No Trace Camping, Caramel Film, Entertainment One, 101 Minutes

Review:

“Evolve. Or go extinct.” – Xavier LaFlamme

I’m a pretty big fan of the original Goon, which I consider to be the best hockey movie since Slap Shot. I am also a huge fan of hockey and the preseason for the NHL is already underway and I’m being overtaken by hockey fever. Living in the States, I wasn’t able to see this movie until now but at least it dropped just in time for the hockey season, which seems more fitting than it’s St. Patrick’s Day release in Canada.

Unfortunately, Goon: Last of the Enforcers isn’t quite Goon but I did enjoy it.

The one thing that the film is missing is the heart and spirit of the original. Ultimately, it feels like an unnecessary sequel even though I was personally looking forward to it because there is a certain magic between Seann William Scott’s Doug Glatt and Liev Schreiber’s Ross Rhea. I wanted to see these two interact one more time and despite this film not living up to the original, I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to one more go around after this.

Scott and Schreiber are just great as these characters. The rest of the cast is fun too but the film is powered by these two men and their rivalry turned to respect.

In this picture, a third goon shows up and has absolutely no respect for anything. Frankly, you just want to see this asshole get his just desserts. This new goon, played by Wyatt Russell (son of Kurt) is so good as a despicable character that you can’t not sort of admire his performance and his presence. The sky is the limit for this kid.

Doug’s teammates return and they are all just as funny as before but you seem to spend less time with them and more time on the drama of Doug trying to discover himself in a life after hockey with his now wife and coming child adding a sense of pressure and responsibility that he has a hard time balancing with his personal struggles.

In the beginning, Doug is beaten into retirement by his new rival. He takes on a normal life but wants to get back on the ice to prove that he’s still got it. In an homage to Rocky III, Doug seeks out his former rival, Ross Rhea, in an attempt to train himself for the possibility of a rematch with the man that put him on the shelf and usurped him as the king of hockey fisticuffs.

I liked the premise and seeing Doug and Ross work together and even become teammates, by the end of the film, was a cool evolution of their story. The film takes their mutual respect to a new level and that is much more interesting than Doug dealing with his insurance job and becoming a father.

Marc-André Grondin’s Xavier LaFlamme is also back but he takes a backseat and doesn’t have the screen time he had in Goon. I really like the LaFlamme character and thought he was sort of wasted here. The same goes for Jay Baruchel’s Patrick but Baruchel also directed this and probably thought that a cameo here and there was all he could tackle while helming this picture.

If you love Goon, you will probably like Goon: Last of the Enforcers. It doesn’t live up to its predecessor but you get to see these characters evolve into something more than where they were when we left off with the first film.

Rating: 7/10

Film Review: Deadpool (2016)

Release Date: February 8th, 2016 (Le Grande Rex premiere)
Directed by: Tim Miller
Written by: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick
Based on: the character of Deadpool created by Fabian Nicieza, Rob Liefeld
Music by: Tom Holkenborg
Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T.J. Miller, Gina Carano, Leslie Uggams, Brianna Hildebrand, Stefan Kapičić

Marvel Entertainment, TSG Entertainment, Kinberg Genre, The Donners’ Company, 20th Century Fox, 108 Minutes

Review:

*originally written in 2016.

Well, I can’t say that I haven’t waited for a Deadpool movie since 1991 when he first appeared at the end of The New Mutants run and was there to help kick off the original  X-Force comic. And I still haven’t seen the universally panned X-Men Origins: Wolverine film because I couldn’t bear to see the character butchered beyond recognition.

But the film has finally arrived. It took a lot for Ryan Reynolds to get this thing to screen, after he already played the character in that shitty film I just mentioned. Reynolds knew he had to make it up to the fans and this time, he nailed it. Not that it was his fault the previous outing.

Deadpool is fantastic. It isn’t a perfect movie but I can seriously get behind the more mature comic book films. This along with the Marvel stuff being put out by Netflix is refreshing when I am losing faith in the genre after duds like Avengers: Age of Ultron and Man of Steel.

This movie was a welcome change. It was balls-to-the-wall and never stopped. Well, it had a few slow moments while bouncing around too much from flashbacks but all-in-all, this shit’s friggin’ solid.

Ryan Reynolds was perfect as Wade Wilson/Deadpool but we already knew that before going into this, thanks to the test footage from a few years back. Plus, the marketing for the movie really solidified how in-touch Reynolds was with the character.

X-Men characters Colossus and Teenage Negasonic Warhead show up and it is nice seeing smaller characters also get the chance to shine. Other X-Men are not in the film but the movie makes fun of that within the movie itself.

Also, this film features the best Stan Lee cameo ever.

Deadpool, like in the comics, often times breaks the fourth wall and talks to the audience as well as cracks a lot of inside jokes between himself and the people watching. I had worried about how that would play out but the execution was good. Everything felt natural.

The villains were throwaway minor characters and the threat didn’t seem all that threatening but this is a smaller film than Fox’s regular X-Men pictures and certainly smaller than Disney’s Avengers franchise.

Deadpool did a lot more with much less in comparison to its genre mates.

A fun ride from beginning to end with not much criticism from me, really.

Go see it. But don’t take your mum.

Rating: 7.75/10

TV Review: Silicon Valley (2014- )

Original Run: April 6th, 2014 – present
Created by: Mike Judge
Directed by: various
Written by: various
Cast: Thomas Middleditch, T. J. Miller, Josh Brener, Martin Starr, Kumail Nanjiani, Christopher Evan Welch, Amanda Crew, Zach Woods, Matt Ross, Suzanne Cryer, Jimmy O. Yang, Stephen Tobolowsky

Judgemental Films, Altschuler Krinsky Works, Alec Berg Inc., 3 Arts Entertainment, HBO Entertainment, 28 Episodes (so far), 30 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

Mike Judge is mostly known for his animated shows Beavis & Butt-HeadDaria and King of the Hill but when he does live-action stuff, it is still pretty darn good. Just look at Office Space and Idiocracy for examples.

Silicon Valley is almost a spiritual successor to Office Space but with a tech industry spin. It also benefits in ways that Office Space couldn’t, as that film was confined to just 90 minutes. The episodic format and now multiple seasons of Silicon Valley gives it more wiggle room and lots of different ideas can be explored in more depth. We have time to get to know our characters more intimately and the story of their company (and rival companies) is allowed to flourish in a broader way.

The cast is literally an all-star team of talent, many of whom have been on the scene for awhile but never really had the right project to shine in a long-term sense.

The cast is led by Thomas Middleditch, who had bit roles in a lot of television shows and movies but never had much time to stand out. He is backed by T.J. Miller, who would go on to be awesome in Deadpool but also worked in Cloverfield as well as a slew of other projects. Then you have Josh Brener, who I found to be hilarious in Maron but never got to see much else from him. Kumail Nanjiani may be recognized from small roles in Portlandia, as well as some commercials, but this too, is his first real long-term project. Martin Starr, who has probably had the most success, started his career in the cult classic television show Freaks & Geeks and went on to be integral to another cult show Party Down. Starr has really found the perfect role for his personality. You also have Zach Woods, who is mostly known as the unlikable character Gabe from the later seasons of The Office. Woods’ Jared is the antithesis of Gabe however, as he is one of the most likable characters on Silicon Valley. Finally, you have Amanda Crew, who should probably be featured on the show more than she has been in the first three seasons because she is great and adds a needed feminine element to the show’s male dominated cast.

The show also boasts a good supporting cast. Matt Ross is great as the dastardly villain of the series. Jimmy O. Yang is great as the Chinese roommate of the main cast. Christopher Evan Welch was enigmatic as the bizarre Peter Gregory but he unfortunately passed away during production of the first season. Chris Diamantopoulos is perfect as the douchebaggy rich guy Russ Hanneman. One of my favorite actors in any role he plays, Stephen Tobolowsky is fantastic as a short-lived CEO of the main characters’ company. Lastly, Milana Vayntrub, best known as Lilly in those AT&T commercials, plays Starr’s girlfriend in a few episodes and I wish she was in more.

The show is stellar and it is consistent throughout its first three seasons. I’m glad to see it coming back for a fourth but the show could run its course pretty soon and hopefully it doesn’t stick around longer than it should, like most successful shows these days.

Everyone is fairly likable and the contrast in personalities is what makes the show work. The show is perfectly cast, the funny look into the tech world is executed brilliantly and the balance between its lightheartedness and more dramatic parts is handled well.

Silicon Valley is one of those shows that is a perfect storm. While it isn’t a perfect show, the scale tips much more towards positives than negatives and it is hard not to care about the characters and appreciate the talent of the actors that bring the show to life.

Rating: 7/10