Vids I Dig 399: Whang!: Marilyn Manson Had His Ribs Removed to Blow Himself and Other Urban Legends

Taken from Justin Whang’s YouTube description: Marilyn Manson is an artist that’s had a lot of strange rumors about him throughout the years, such as him being Paul from The Wonder Years or him having his ribs removed. Let’s take a look at the history of some of these rumors.

Retro Relapse: She’s Not Perfect; You’re Not Either – Get Over It

RETRO RELAPSE is a series of older articles from various places where I used to write before Talking Pulp.

*Written in 2016.

One thing I’ve been coming across lately, as I am in my mid-thirties, is a lot of my male friends who seem baffled and befuddled over the pasts of their girlfriends.

In many cases, I’ve found myself in situations and discussions with guys who aren’t happy with their current girlfriend’s (or in some cases wife’s) sexual past. I had a similar mindset in my mid-to-late-twenties but have since realized the folly of it.

I was, at one time, very much like Ben Affleck’s Holden McNeil in Chasing Amy. I dated girls, I’d find out things that they did before me and I would find myself judging them on things that had nothing to do with me and happened way before I was in the picture.

In many instances, it ended relationships because I couldn’t fathom how this perfect flower I was with could have done something so un-flower-like. I deserved to have that shit come back on me negatively. Who the fuck was I to judge and truth be told, I’ve got a track record of being a slut. But the double standard eluded me at the time because I was a man and only girls could be sluts or something.

Ludacris said, “(he wants) a lady in the street but a freak in the bed.” That is the mentality of most men but for some reason, they don’t want a lady that was a freak before they showed up and wooed them. Of course, it doesn’t matter to the man what freaky shit he did in relationships (or one night stands) past.

The fucked up thing is that the man treats his past as if it is no one’s business and keeps his secrets buried away. Women seem to be more open about their past and kudos for that. But maybe being judged harshly for certain behavior is why they are more open about it. Maybe men need to accept it, deal with it and move the fuck on. Or maybe they should be judged just as harshly. But is it really that big of a deal at the end of the day when everyone is fucking and most do freaky shit? Additionally, who the fuck are you to judge? You’re not a perfect flower either. And if you are a perfect flower, you’ve been missing out.

As I’ve gotten older and been confronted on my bullshit, I’ve realized that I was an asshole. Ultimately, I like being a freak and I like women who like being freaks. And I would rather have a woman with some experience than a chick on her first rodeo, at least at my age. I guess this is why I find myself with the party girls and this is why my best relationships have been with the party girls who aren’t going to apologize for their past and who don’t really give a shit about mine. And when a chick has seen and done it all and she still chooses you, there’s something awesome in that.

It’s about enjoying each other in the now (and in the future). Who gives a shit what happened in her life or your life seven years prior. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of, we all have regrets and we should all be fine with what we’ve done and what it has taught us about life, sex and people.

Or you could have totally loved your bad decisions and that’s cool too. I don’t have a problem with my bad decisions or my sexual past. I’m cool with it all and I also don’t care what anyone else thinks about me for it. And I’m certainly not going to come down on a significant other who doesn’t regret their sexual free-ness.

Maybe this is an American problem. The Europeans don’t seem to have a problem with being sexually liberated. They fuck and they fuck a lot and shit just isn’t that big of a deal. They also aren’t tied down by as much religious dogma and moral judgment. They embrace their nature, do what they do and have a much better time at it than we do.

The human body needs sexual gratification. For some reason, we try to fight that. And if someone says “fuck your stupid conventions”, especially a woman, it’s frowned upon. And it’s especially frowned upon by men.

I think in a lot of ways, men are taught that women are to behave a certain way to fit within societal norms. But it isn’t our place to tell them what to be just as it isn’t their place to tell us what to be. We’re all individuals and we are all free to live our lives the way we feel is best.

Many men who have these ideals just look really insecure about themselves when they express their distaste. Like there is some fear that their woman will leave them because they can’t live up to her exciting past. They don’t understand that she is there, with them. She chose to be there.

Being an idiot about who she is will eventually push her away. And if she does leave, that’s on her. There are no guarantees in life and certainly not in relationships.

So fucking enjoy each other while you have each other. Maybe it will turn into a lifelong relationship, maybe it won’t. But ride it out and be less of an insecure judgmental shithead. Women aren’t attracted to insecurity.

If you can’t look at your girlfriend and accept that she isn’t perfect, then you have a serious problem. No one is perfect. And perfection is subjective anyway. If you are going to have constant hang ups about someone, why the hell are you with them in the first place? You can’t fight reality and reality isn’t necessarily something to try and fight anyway. It is what it fucking is.

People aren’t going to become what you wish them to become. It’s about enjoying each other for your triumphs and your faults. We’re all human and it is a lot more fun if we’re all human together.

It’s also a lot more fun if we’re all fucking and honest about it.

Retro Relapse: Psycho Snooping Bitches

RETRO RELAPSE is a series of older articles from various places where I used to write before Talking Pulp.

*Written in 2014.

Psycho snooping bitches are in abundance these days. I use the word “bitches” because I’m trying to be moderately polite and not use the more appropriate descriptive term “cunts”. Now there are more sane and trusting women out there but the number of distrustful psychos within their population is growing.

I’ve come across a few of these women in my days and none of the experiences were worth the headache and usually they came compounded with drama, bullshit and after the fact, they couldn’t get the hint and just fade away from my life. There are a lot of other negative character traits that come with these types of women and they are damned near impossible to bottle up. The quickest and easiest advice I can give is to ditch the psycho bitch. Living under fascism, even if a vagina is attached to it, is not living at all.

But let me delve into this shit a bit further.

There is something seriously wrong with a female that has the natural urge and feels she has the right to sneak behind you and check your emails, your social networking profiles and your text messages. Chances are that this girl sniffs your dirty underwear when you’re in the shower in an effort to find some minute scent that may allude to your infidelity. She sniffs all your clothes, goes through your pockets, probably finds nothing but is still a bitch when you get out of the shower because as far as she is concerned, she just hasn’t found the smoking gun yet.

This girl is also probably the type to watch every god-awful shit reality show featuring glamorous non-celebrities who fuck everything in sight and cheat on a different partner each episode, cycling through the entire cast. She can’t decipher what reality actually is and believes such entertainment to be a primer on life. In fact, if you hook up with a girl who obsesses over this bullshit, get the fuck out immediately. If her mind isn’t diseased yet, it will be.

Chances are that she doesn’t watch a lot of that shit but she is just unable to trust anyone because the love of her life ten years ago (i.e. the first dude she fucked in high school) banged her best friend at some drunken house party. She also probably suffers from the “all men are pigs” and the “all men are the same” mental disorder. Fellas, it is not your job to try and prove her wrong or to fix her. She has to fix herself. Again, just walk away.

A lot of these girls also go from relationship to relationship and can’t understand why they can’t find happiness and why decent guys won’t stick around. Those who usually do stick around longer are the type of dudes who are just as distrusting as her. A couple like that is impossible to be around in a social sense and I’ve known many couples like this and have had to walk away as a friend.

You see, in a relationship, trust is not just important, it is pretty fucking vital. If you can’t trust anyone, you need to get some professional help. Reason being, without trust, you will never be able to be happy. You will always be looking in every nook and cranny trying to find something to prove that your unfounded suspicions are true. In fact, you probably make up evidence in your own head or turn every little innocent thing into some bullshit scenario. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship like this? How can you live your life assuming that everyone is going to be a piece of shit that will fuck you over?

With a lot of these people, not just the girls now, some of this distrust probably stems from the fact that they themselves are shady and shitty people. This is another reason why you should get the fuck out and move on. Often times when people see faults in others, especially when there is no evidence of their existence, it is usually because they are projecting their own faults onto their partner. Intellectually, a lot of adults in this modern world are small children.

There is a decent amount of bullshit that I will accept (to a point) in a relationship, if I do actually care about the person. This however, is one of those things I have no tolerance for, especially knowing that I have never cheated on someone and wouldn’t. I have respect for those I am seeing and to those who want to rebut with “never say never”, you can fuck off. I’m an adult and in control of my own faculties. That is what being an adult is.

Luckily, while these females exist, they aren’t the majority.

Retro Relapse: Loose Lips Sink Relationships

RETRO RELAPSE is a series of older articles from various places where I used to write before Talking Pulp.

*Written in 2014.

These days, it seems that there are too many children in grown-up bodies. In fact, almost everyone I encounter except for a very small minority are these types of people. I can’t say that I haven’t been guilty of it from time to time but when it comes to respect for someone else, especially someone I care about or at least once cared about, I maintain that respect and a level of maturity with how I handle the situation.

When it comes to a large number of women I know, they don’t seem to understand the level of respect that they should maintain for other people, especially their own man.

Often times, some of my female friends feel the need to trash talk their man to me or to other friends of ours. I hear about how their man no longer has passion in bed, is a full-grown man child, doesn’t work enough, works too much, is too hung up on his mother, is too close to some random ex-girlfriend, is too irresponsible for his age, has a drinking problem, doesn’t pay enough attention to her, is bad with money, has no plan for the future, etc. etc. et-fucking-cetera.

I’m not saying that men don’t talk smack to their friends about their girlfriends at the peak of a drunken rampage but it is much rarer, in my experience, and it takes a hell of a lot more for a man to share shit like that than a woman. Plus, most men aren’t fixated on a bunch of trivial bullshit. Usually when a guy drops some shit like this, it is something pretty serious and he’s been holding on to it for a long time. Now if a male is as gossipy and talks shit about his significant other to the level of the woman described in the preceding paragraph, avoid him. In fact, I can’t fathom how he ever got out of the proverbial “friend zone” with a woman.

Maybe I am a nice guy, maybe I come off as trusting and maybe these women feel like they can confide in me. They can actually, because unlike them, I’m not going to broadcast their bullshit to everyone within earshot. I respect people. The thing is, my awesomeness doesn’t really factor in here, as these women will say these things to anyone sitting next to them, whether it is a close confidant or a complete stranger at the bar.

How would these women feel if roles were reversed? What if their man told every one of his friends and complete strangers in his travels that his woman was shit in bed, immature, irresponsible, a drunk, unable to handle money or any other negative trait? I can’t think of many, if any, women that would accept that. And frankly, the men shouldn’t accept their women doing the same thing to them. In the end, where’s the respect? People like this don’t deserve to be in a relationship because they aren’t mature enough to handle adult situations and to understand what respect is.

In a relationship, you are on a team. If you harbor any of these negative feelings to the point of feeling the need to broadcast them to the world and not to your significant other, you’ve got a serious problem. You should really reflect on why you have these feelings and what to do about it before just blurting out every character flaw that your boyfriend has. Then again, people are so quick to look for faults, which I talked about in The Failure of Modern Relationships. If you are quick to find faults, you’ve got a problem with yourself and not your significant other. Everyone has faults, no one is perfect but I don’t need to rehash what I already wrote in the relationships post I just mentioned.

Usually these gossipy girls are on the hunt for “a good man”. They can’t ever seem to find one, even though there are probably several within their social circle or in front of them on a daily basis. Being that I am a good man, I feel like I need to chime in here.

If I have a female friend that exhibits the behavior that I’ve been talking about here (i.e. she constantly talks shit about any and every guy she has been involved with), I want nothing to do with her from a romantic standpoint. Guys pick up on this game and if a girl has the penchant for talking shit about boyfriends and guys she dates, we want no part of her. We don’t want our perceived idiosyncrasies and imperfections broadcast to the world through that woman’s bullhorn.

The big problem for these girls, is that they stick out like a sore thumb because they can’t help themselves. It seems like gossiping about their lover is their nature and they don’t even seem to question it and why it is a horrible thing to do to someone you’re supposed to care about and how it paints you to be a complete fucking bitch drunk on your own self-importance.

Out of respect for a lot of the guys who are victimized by this, even if I don’t know them, I tell these women to stop talking about it. If I was that guy, I wouldn’t want my asshole girlfriend to be trash talking me publicly. And this goes both ways, as no woman should ever stand for it if her man does this to her.

Keep your arguments behind closed doors. The only time you should bring this stuff up, is if there is a real problem or some sort of actual physical or mental abuse going on. Then again, in that situation, you need to leave.

I don’t know, it just seems to me that many adults can’t handle adult relationships anymore and are still embracing high school drama and bullshit well into their thirties. It’s no wonder why marriages never last and more and more people find themselves single, divorced or disgruntled. Like with everything in love and life, change has to start with you.

Retro Relapse: Men Or Women: Who’s To Blame?

RETRO RELAPSE is a series of older articles from various places where I used to write before Talking Pulp.

*Written in 2014.

There seems to be a lot of finger pointing these days. It exists on several levels in modern society. People seem to like to lump themselves into groups and have to have an enemy in some other group that they can blame for all their troubles. Most people these days seem to lack responsibility for their own actions and decisions. Pointing the finger and blaming someone else is the easier route to take. Frankly, I’m fucking over it. I’m not talking about Israelis and Palestinians here, I’m talking about men and women.

There are two extreme schools of thought on both ends of the gender spectrum. There are hardcore feminists that see all men as pigs and oppressors that have held them back with an iron fist for millennia. There are also hardcore chest-pounding anti-women males who blame feminism for all their woes and the creation of a culture that pimps equality to the point of mass emasculation. Granted, I can see some of the points of both groups and understand what they feel is their plight but their excessive paranoia is dangerous.

How is it dangerous?

Well, for starters, hating the other side of the equation isn’t going to get you anywhere positive. Going to war brings about death and destruction and painting everyone not like you as the enemy is ultimately going to lead to your own downfall. Besides, creating a gender war is stupid because without one another, we can’t create more of either. It takes men and women to make babies and whether either side wants to believe this, each gender comes with its own strengths to compliment the other. The real solution to the problems that people perceive here, is not further division.

But how does one talk to a woman that’s like “I don’t need no man!” or a man that’s like “Fuck women, I don’t need their bullshit!”? The point is, you can’t. If someone is that far gone and that anti the opposite sex, let them be miserable. If they don’t soon see the error of their ways and they continue down their shortsighted path, they’ll stay miserable and ultimately, never achieve what they want because what they want is asinine and pointless.

And most of this “hating the other gender” shtick isn’t due to being oppressed or feeling that one’s gender is no longer in equal standing, at least not nowadays. Today, people who hate the opposite gender seem to have severe issues in the realm of love and relationships. What I mean is that they are usually bad at them or they just don’t have any luck at courting the opposite sex. Becoming frustrated and lonely often times leads the weak-minded looking to blame someone other than themselves. In this case, they blame the opposite sex. If men or women aren’t into them, then it must be because they all suck. These people usually fill the void by surrounding themselves with other like-minded, disgruntled and undersexed people who also need someone else to blame.

It is time to grow up and look in the fucking mirror because this bullshit is getting old and stale.

Yes, I often times point at how men are less manly than previous generations. Yes, I have talked about how many men of the last few generations have been raised by single mothers, some of them feminists and that the men are more girly, “metro” and grow up harboring crippling levels of male guilt. However, I blame a lot of this on the deadbeat dads who made kids, wandered off or just became shitheads. I also blame the 60’s sexual revolution (not in  a bad way) for changing the dynamic of relationships and creating a much more sexual society. Sure, feminists can take the blame too but the point is, not one thing is solely responsible. Furthermore, this doesn’t mean that in my own life, I don’t take responsibility for my actions, my decisions and how I respond to the things I just mentioned. Answering one extreme with another extreme is trivial and foolish.

People need to move forward but I guess that’s hard to do when people always seem to need an enemy. Tribalism has evolved into a division amongst genders. We should all be smarter than this. In fact, no matter what extreme someone is at, they sound like simple motherfuckers when they speak. It is baffling to me that so many people are so quick to eat up the bullshit and mold their lives around it.

I just don’t see a mass war on women or a mass war on men except led by a few small groups who are insignificant to the rest of society. Sure, some people in politics may espouse this rhetoric but overreacting to it is shortsighted and futile.

Lead by example and that starts with you. Carry yourself in the right way and it will probably rub off on others. Also, work on your skills at wooing the opposite sex. We’re all individuals living in a largely populated world, I get that generalizing and grouping people together is way too easy but don’t forget that we all have our own unique fingerprint.

Retro Relapse: Couples On Facebook

RETRO RELAPSE is a series of older articles from various places where I used to write before Talking Pulp.

*Written in 2014.

Side note: I’m really, really drunk.

There are few things in life more annoying than some types of couples on Facebook. In fact, Facebook is annoying enough on its own and I often times question myself for still having a profile. If it wasn’t my only real point of contact with some people, I’d have moved on a long time ago.

Additional side note/update: I actually moved on in 2016.

Some people however, think that Facebook is a tool to put their entire lives out there. They see it as a way to make their lives completely transparent to the public and to build up their ideal persona all in an attempt to paint themselves as an interesting being who others should worship and admire like some sort of mega fun life guru. When two of these people get together in a relationship, the insanity and annoyance factor magnifies a hundred fold.

I’m going to talk about two types of couples here and be forewarned, if you are on my personal friends list and fit the bill, I probably blocked you from my news feed awhile ago, which is why you don’t see me liking and commenting on your posts anymore. Sorry, I just can’t take you and your sweetie’s bullshit shenanigans. Chances are, my level of respect for you is also non-existent at this point.

The first type of couple are the ones who feel it is their obligation to shove their lovey dovey bullshit down all their friends’ throats. You know the type. They have threads of comments in a post telling each other how much they love one another, more or less competing over who loves who the mostestest times quadruple infinity. They are social media’s version of the couple who displays way too much PDA. These are the assholes who sit on the same side of a booth in a restaurant. Some of them even have matching shirts, which the girl most likely picked out.

These relationships are a clear sign of a selfish bitch dominating her emasculated lapdog of an emo boy toy. If these people are over 14 years-old, they are horrible human beings not worthy of even having friends. They need serious psychological help and it is only a matter of time before the female kills and eats the head of the male like some ravenous preying mantis with adorable tits.

Any male who voluntarily subjects themselves to this kind of sick insanity, deserves to not have his balls. You are practically a teenage girl with a penis. Nut the fuck up, man the fuck up and get your shit straight because you are on a slippery slope of shit that is going to lead to a string of horrible females that rule your life. You are basically a child with a self-centered mother figure that dresses you and wipes your ass. And you don’t want to bang your mom, right?

Another type is those couples who have joint Facebook accounts. That right there is a clear sign of a couple that truly trusts each other. Usually it is the chick running the profile though. Often times, once a dude gets in a relationship, he deactivates his profile because he doesn’t need it to scope out the available pussy anymore. The overly attached girlfriend or wife then throws his name onto her account, just in case he wants to check out Facebook once in awhile.

Really, I think this is employed to have one point of contact. This way she can monitor what girls send him. It’s a motherfucking trap! But bitches want to make sure they’re man is in union with them. They are a couple with a hive mind! Why? Because when you’re a couple, apparently you are no longer an individual.

As a friend of people who have couples accounts, I fucking hate talking to them. I never know who the fuck I’m talking to and it’s just annoying because there is some shit I would say to my guy friends that I wouldn’t necessarily say in front of their significant other, especially an insecure control freak chick that would make her cutiepie share accounts with her. Not knowing who I am talking to is a deterrent for me to talk to anyone. Good luck with your trusting relationship, I’ll go hang out with the adults and shit.

And please, stop taking couples selfies! Your whole wall is a billboard for something that looks like a goddamned two-headed monster making duck faces. It’s not cute, it’s gross.

If you are a guy that has a joint couples account, I bet there is a 99 percent chance that it wasn’t your idea. I can also pretty easily assume that you’re not allowed to talk to exes and that you have had more pink added to your wardrobe.

If I offended you because you exist in a world where this is okay, I am fine with that. In fact, I’m pretty satisfied. It is time to stop being annoying assholes and just be normal people. If the guy doesn’t have the time or interest for Facebook, leave it alone. He doesn’t need his name squished next to yours like some fucked up font orgy.