Film Review: Girls Nite Out (1982)

Also known as: The Scaremaker
Release Date: June 20th, 1982
Directed by: Robert Deubel
Written by: Joe Bolster
Cast: Julia Montgomery, Hal Holbrook, Rutanya Alda, James Carroll, Carrick Glenn, Richard Bright, Rutanya Alda

Independent International Pictures, 96 Minutes

Review:

“Whore!” – The Dancing Bear

This is one of those films that I didn’t even know about until recently, as slasher pictures were a dime a dozen in the 1980s and this one isn’t particularly good, other than a few things I found to be amusing.

The biggest thing that this film has going for it, other than Hal Holbrook being a sole campus cop dealing with murdered babes, is that the killer wears the school’s mascot costume. What we have, is a psycho dressed as a dancing bear. However, the bear has a makeshift bear claw comprised of serrated steak knives that he uses to shred college girls as he calls them “whore” and “slut” or my favorite line of the film, “Bitch! You bitch! Time to pay the price for being a slut!”

Girls Nite Out doesn’t feature any notably successful teens. Well, there is Julia Montgomery, who was in Revenge of the Nerds and two of its three sequels. Also, the super beautiful Carrick Glenn is in this. Her only other notable film was The Burning. She kind of disappeared after this film, which sucks. I thought she seemed like a cool chick that could do better things than where she was when she stopped acting.

As far as the teens go, they were all fairly unusual and goofy but it worked in a really entertaining way and at the very least, they all stood out in different ways and made the movie more playful than it otherwise would have been. There was great chemistry and camaraderie with the cast and it looked like a film where they were all having fun on and off camera.

The real problem with the movie, is that it is just such a cookie cutter slasher flick and it doesn’t do anything notable or new other than having a killer in a bear suit. However, there is a twist ending that I thought worked pretty well, even if everything leading up to it was sort of basic bullshit.

I do feel that the movie was a missed opportunity for the writers to come up with some really fantastic bear puns. If I wrote this thing, I’d be dropping puns all over the place. “Who do you think murdered these babes?” “I don’t know, deputy. But this is certainly… grisly.” Or something like “Hey, aren’t you that nerd from my civics class?” “No! But I’d like to express my right to bear arms!” “Arghhhhh!!!” Or how about “If you thought that was bad, bitch… you’re going to find what happens next… un-bear-able!” Or after hitting on some slutty chick at a party he says something like, “You’re too clingy, I’m going to have to claw my way out of this relationship!”

Such a missed opportunity for great bear puns.

Anyway, Girls Nite Out isn’t a total waste, even without those bear puns but it could have been much better. Hal Holbrook automatically improves just about anything and the teens were better than typical slasher fodder. There could have been a bigger emphasis on boobage and more creative killings but a bear mascot with a knife hand, two years before Freddy Krueger, is pretty creative.

Rating: 5.25/10

Film Review: The Stuff (1985)

Also known as: Larry Cohen’s The Stuff
Release Date: June 14th, 1985
Directed by: Larry Cohen
Written by: Larry Cohen
Music by: Anthony Guefen, Richard Seaman (jingles)
Cast: Michael Moriarty, Andrea Marcovicci, Garrett Morris, Paul Sorvino, Danny Aiello, Rutanya Alda, Scott Bloom, Brian Bloom, Patrick Dempsey (uncredited), Mira Sorvino (uncredited)

New World Pictures, 87 Minutes

Review:

“The name’s Mo Rutherford. They call me that ’cause when people give me money, I always want mo’.” – David ‘Mo’ Rutherford

The Stuff was a film that flew under the radar when it came out in 1985. Its theatrical release was very limited. Also, when it was released in New York City, a hurricane hit on that day and newspapers weren’t able to be delivered. Apparently, as the director Larry Cohen claims, the film had good reviews that never made it into the audience’s hands. In 2017, the film does hold a 70 percent critics’ rating at Rotten Tomatoes.

There was also probably some genre confusion about the film. While it appears to be a horror film in all its marketing material, which it is, the film is also a satirical comedy that pokes fun at the health fads of the 1980s, which saw a huge influx of “diet”-branded foods hit the market that people jumped on like hotcakes covered in crack cocaine.

I never even heard of this film until the early 1990s and I was a kid that spent a great deal of time in video stores, wherever I went. I think that most people discovered this later, as it has since developed a pretty large cult following.

One thing this film has, is pretty brilliant special effects. Different substances were used throughout the movie to represent “The Stuff”, as it moved and attacked people. The scene with a lake of “The Stuff” was done by superimposing imagery and using animation techniques. It came off great for a film from this era with a very small budget. Also, the rotating bedroom set used in two scenes of the original A Nightmare On Elm Street is used in The Stuff to recreate the same effect but instead of blood crawling up the walls, we get homicidal marshmallow goo.

The effects that were especially cool where when people’s bodies started to rip apart and ooze out “The Stuff”. The scene, at the end, where Garrett Morris’ head starts to tear apart is a fantastic practical effect and still pretty horrifying.

Now the acting is far from commendable but this picture does feature the always great Garrett Morris as well as Danny Aiello and Paul Sorvino. Also, Michael Moriarty’s “Mo” is an entertaining character.

The Stuff is a fun movie and it is hokey in all the right ways. I’d almost like to see a sequel that is sort of the reverse of this that pokes fun at all the anti-GMO hysteria and the religiously pro-organic people.

Rating: 7/10