Also known as: The Final Battle (Brazil)
Release Date: November 30th, 1990
Directed by: David A. Prior
Written by: David A. Prior
Music by: Garm Beall, Tim James, Steve McClintock
Cast: Ted Prior, Robert Z’Dar, Renee Cline, William Smith
Action International Pictures, 90 Minutes
“C’mon, you big ugly fuck! I’m gonna kick your ass!” – Sgt. Tom Batanic
I love bad movies, that’s no secret at this point. David A. Prior used to crank out shitty action pictures faster than a rabbit dropping deuce pellets. His movies are horrible but they are the sort of horrible that I can get behind. I’m not sure how much or if any of it is intentional but he did have a style to his movies at the height of his run and it’s possible that he is actually an auteur. Assuming one can be an auteur of awful. Still, the man had his own style, that’s undeniable.
This film sees Ted Prior face-off against Robert Z’Dar. Both men were synonymous with bad action movies, so seeing the bulk of this film being their one-on-one war against each other was pretty entertaining.
Prior is an American while Z’Dar is a Soviet. The two are the best of the best and are pitted against each other in a “kill or be killed” survival game. The premise is hokey as all hell but these films don’t work because of realistic plots. The nonsensical nature of the narrative and the actions of the characters are why this turd is special.
I like Ted Prior because of his involvement in David Prior’s movies. Between this, Deadly Prey and the others, he has earned a place in my mental ’80s B-action hall of fame. Robert Z’Dar, on the other hand, is a superstar when it comes to these sort of films. The fact that he plays an insane Soviet hulk and throws little shovels like throwing knives is friggin’ incredible.
This isn’t a movie to sit down and watch with your girl. It is something to sit down and watch with your boys, considering you have boys that like living vicariously through cheesy ’80s badasses. Sure, this came out in 1990 but it has so much ’80s cheese, that it could fill the world’s largest quesadilla and then still have some left over for a giant plate of nachos.
The Final Sanction, despite my weird love for it, should be ran through the Cinespiria Shitometer. The results read, “Type 5 Stool: Soft blobs with clear-cut edges (passed easily).”