Comic Review: Doom Patrol, Vol. 2: The Painting That Ate Paris

Published: 1989-1990
Written by: Grant Morrison
Art by: Richard Case, John Nyberg

Vertigo Comics, 228 Pages

Review:

I’m really digging the Grant Morrision run on Doom Patrol.

While the first volume was better overall, the first half of this collection was probably the high point for me, thus far. The second half of this is mostly filler and comes off at a slower pace but there are still some things of importance within it.

The first half is the story arc that gives this volume its name: The Painting That Ate Paris. And while the name may sound metaphorical, it isn’t. This is Grant Morrision’s Doom Patrol and a painting literally eats Paris. And with that, the Doom Patrol has to find a way into the painting in an effort to save the city. All the while, the Justice League shows up and stands idly by, staring at the painting, confused by the whole ordeal.

I feel like the Justice League here represents the more casual comic book reader, who would probably be baffled by the insanity, absurdity and surrealism of Morrison fully and creatively unleashed.

Richard Case’s art is some of my favorite from the era and man, it just lures you in and is a perfect compliment to Morrison’s writing. Case’s art is clean, crisp, colorful and fluid. I love his character design and the life his style gives every person in these stories.

This was just a really exciting comic to read. It loses steam with the second half but it is still entertaining and serves to setup what’s to come after this.

If you’ve never given Grant Morrison’s run on Doom Patrol a shot, you really should. It’s a superhero team book but it is so unique that you really should experience it.

Rating: 8.5/10
Pairs well with: the rest of Grant Morrison’s run on Doom Patrol.

Comic Review: Mister Miracle (2017-2018 Series)

Published: August 9th, 2017 – November 14th, 2018
Written by: Tom King
Art by: Mitch Gerads, Nick Derington (covers)

DC Comics, 320 Pages

Review:

I’m done with Tom King. So fucking done.

Mister Miracle finally broke me. And if I’m being frank, my experience reading this was a damn tragedy.

I have collected every issue since it started coming out well over a year ago. I loved the covers by Nick Derington and Mister Miracle is, hands down, my favorite Jack Kirby creation under the DC Comics banner.

Just seeing Mister Miracle usually lifts my spirits, makes me incredibly happy and makes a comic worth the cover price just because I get to spend some time with one of the coolest and inspiring DC Comics characters there is. Mister Miracle is for me, what Superman is for many others.

For those who don’t know, Mister Miracle is a guy that was figuratively raised in Hell and spent his entire childhood trying to escape. He failed, again and again, but he never stopped trying, crawling through Hell itself just to escape. Eventually, his ability to never give up, to never quit, finally saw him escape and reach Earth where he started a new life, a much better life. Mister Miracle persevered, conquered his demons and achieved the American Dream, even as an alien from another world. That is who Mister Miracle is!

But apparently, if Mister Miracle is written by Tom King, he’s none of those things. Instead, he’s just a sad, depressed bitch that starts this series by slitting his wrists and bleeding out on the bathroom floor. A guy who finally had everything, after escaping a true Hell, now decides to quit.

The thing is, this isn’t Scott Free under the Mister Miracle mask, it’s Tom King. Yes, King put himself in the role of Scott Free a.k.a. Mister Miracle and showed us exactly what not to do when you are given a beloved character to write. King does not understand Scott Free in the slightest, just as he doesn’t understand Batman and has also turned him into a complete pussy.

So Tom King, the most depressing high profile comic book writer I’ve seen in ages, has gone on to completely misrepresent two major DC characters because he apparently is working through his own demons through his art. Art which really doesn’t belong to him. It belongs to Warner Bros. and the millions of fans who have supported these characters for decades. But not in Tom King’s eyes. He would rather bring all of us down to his level, strip away all the positivity and inspiration while shitting on us and the great creators before him.

Tom King’s Mister Miracle is a gross bastardization of this incredible character created by Jack Kirby, one of the biggest legends in comic book history.

Tom King needs therapy and he can afford it, at this point. He needs to get professional help and not project his inner terror and depression on his audience. I mean, is he a creator or a destroyer? And while he needs to pay for some therapy, he also needs to pay me back the $48 I wasted on this terrible series. Plus, the price of gas I needed to drive 45 minutes to my comic shop 12 times.

And I’m not being insensitive. I have battled major depression my entire life. I’m adult enough, however, to know that it’s not my place to take a beloved intellectual property and transform it into an extension of my darkest thoughts. No one wants to read about my depression, they want to read something that is heroic escapism and leaves them inspired or at least, a little bit happier than they were before they picked up the comic.

Somehow this book won an Eisner Award for writing and art. Well, the Eisners are a joke, at this point. They’re pretty much like the Oscars and just hand out awards for social justice virtue signal points. Here’s the kicker, no one is actually keeping score of those points because they’re not real. And that game is more about “What have you done for my social justice, lately?”

But this won an Eisner for art as well. So how was that part of this series?

Well, as I said earlier, the covers are mostly great. However, beyond that, this is one of the laziest comics I’ve seen in awhile for being heralded as being so artistically impressive. I really don’t know what these Eisner people look at anymore.

Every page of Mister Miracle is the same. I don’t recall a single splash page because nearly every page is just 9 panels. 3 across, 3 down, all panels being the same shape on every single page. It’s like flipping through a binder of someone’s baseball card collection. The book looks like it was made in InDesign by a first semester graphic design student.

Additionally, there is barely any action in any of the 12 issues and it’s just basic bullshit of Scott Free lying on a couch, buying a birthday cake, joking about veggie trays and sitting on the couch again, because watching a lazy millennial be a terrible father is more interesting to Tom King than the vast mythos that comes with a character like Mister Miracle.

And the whole time, there is a major war going on between New Genesis and Apokolips. Mister Miracle and his wife, Big Barda, are both drafted into this war as generals but we barely see any of it. In fact, we don’t see them do any sort of action until issue 6 and then, once we get action, it’s bogged down by them talking about how to arrange furniture in the house. And that goes on for several pages.

On top of that, the action in this sucks. Did Mitch Gerads never read How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way? I mean, I know that this is DC Comics but Stan Lee and John Buscema wrote the original bible on this art form. Gerads, at least in Mister Miracle, doesn’t seem to understand the importance of dynamic motion. All his action panels look like a 2D side scrolling Nintendo game from the ’80s but drawn as boring as possible.

Plus, Big Barda has never been more unattractive than she is in this series. Big Barda is a tall, athletic, badass woman that has melted the hearts of boys and men for decades. Gerads’ Big Barda looks like a pale version of the modern jacked up She-Hulk, with a man bod and facial expressions that look like half a turd is creeping out in her tiny spandex shorts.

I love Mister Miracle but I absolutely loathe this series. I’m done with Tom King. He was the first person to make me cancel Batman from my pull list and now he’s ruined another favorite character of mine.

Also, murdering Funky Flashman quite violently, a character that was based on Stan Lee (granted, as a jab by Kirby), was pretty grotesque and uncalled for. But I guess he’s really not dead as he reappears and then this whole thing is just a death dream anyway. But Tom King, as a comic “creator”, needs to check his fucking privilege. He’s not a modern legend and I don’t know why he keeps getting these high profile gigs.

Rating: 2.5/10
Pairs well with: anti-depressants, flavored vodka and runny mascara.

Comic Review: Green Arrow: Broken

Published: June 4th, 2014 – September 3rd, 2014
Written by: Jeff Lemire
Art by: Andrea Sorrentino

DC Comics, 123 Pages

Review:

Broken followed up the Green Arrow story The Outsiders War. It is also the last big story arc from Jeff Lemire.

While many people thought that Lemire’s run on Green Arrow was spectacular, I’ve felt pretty lukewarm towards it. I thought it started out well and was building towards something great but it just seems to move a long with a whimper.

It just continues to feel like it is trying to be more like the show Arrow, as opposed to the comic book series that has come and gone for decades. It’s almost too dark, too serious and just lacks the character and charisma of years of Green Arrow stories. This sort of falls victim to the gritty reboot trend in the worst way.

It sucks because I generally like Lemire’s writing but as his Green Arrow tenure ran on, it also ran dry. I’m not sure what people see in this, unless most people only really know this character from the more serious and dark television show.

Anyway, this closes out most of the big plot threads from Lemire’s time on the series.

The only real highlight of this is the artwork. Andrea Sorrentino has a real talent for capturing action in a unique and refreshing way. This guy should get more work on action heavy titles from the major publishers.

In the end, the Jeff Lemire run was a disappointment for me, especially after I heard people rave about it for a few years.

While it sounds like I’m being hard on this, it isn’t terrible. It’s decent, for sure, but it’s hardly as iconic as the hardcore Lemire fans claim.

Rating: 6.5/10
Pairs well with: The other story arcs in the Jeff Lemire run on Green Arrow.

Comic Review: Mister Miracle by Jack Kirby

Published: September 26th, 2017 (this collected edition)
Written by: Jack Kirby
Art by: Jack Kirby, Vince Colletta, Mike Royer

DC Comics, 442 Pages

Review:

I used to pick up issues of Mister Miracle during his run in the late ’80s/early ’90s. I never read the original Jack Kirby stuff though but I always wanted to check them out. Now that they have all been collected into this awesome, thick volume, I had to pick it up and give it a read. Also, I enjoyed the first issue of Tom King’s current run on Mister Miracle and wanted to finally read the original stories to have better context and more understanding of the character and his universe.

One thing that stands out the most on the classic run is the story. Yes, every comic book fan should know that Jack Kirby is a bonafide legend for a reason. But this here is some of the best Kirby stuff I have read during his DC Comics run. Man, I just love these stories and it actually took a lot of time for me to get through this, as I didn’t want to rush through these great tales. I sort of just read this slowly, soaking in the great art along with the magnificent story, letting this series marinate in my mind.

In the end, I love Mister Miracle as a character and the whole mythos he brings to the table for the entirety of DC Comics. Without Kirby’s work here and on similar titles around the same time, New Gods and Fourth World especially, the DC universe would have evolved much differently. Without these creations, Superman and Justice League stories would have been drastically different. There would have been no Darkseid or Apokolips, DC’s biggest villain and his treacherous homeworld that has been the focal point of many major stories (and now movies).

Mister Miracle along with Kirby’s other early ’70s titles are what made the DC universe what it is today and out of these multiple titles, this one is my favorite. There is something magical and wholesome about Mister Miracle. And even though he was born on Apokolips, the character taps into old school Americana and is a throwback to yesteryear icons like Harry Houdini and P.T. Barnum.

Adding to the magic of this series is the use of colors. Kirby’s art was as magnificent as his characters but the use of vibrant and vivid colors, especially in the character designs, made this comic visually enchanting and it still maintains its allure today, even when modern comic book art has evolved into the digital realm where anything is possible.

This collection is truly a must own. That is, unless you don’t like superhero comics, Jack Kirby, imagination, creativity and beautiful art. If you don’t like those things then why did you even read this far?

This is a masterpiece and this collection is beautiful.

Rating: 10/10
Pairs well with: Other Jack Kirby works while he was at DC Comics, as well as other runs of Mister Mircale, excluding the terrible run Tom King had from 2017-2018.