TV Review: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008-2009)

Original Run: January 13th, 2008 – April 10th, 2009
Created by: Josh Friedman
Directed by: various
Written by: various
Based on: The Terminator by James Cameron, Gale Anne Hurd
Music by: Bear McCreary
Cast: Lena Headey, Thomas Dekker, Summer Glau, Brian Austin Green, Garret Dillahunt, Shirley Manson, Richard T. Jones, Leven Rambin, Stephanie Jacobsen, Dean Winters, Dean Norris, Stephany Jacobsen, Busy Philipps, Theo Rossi, Chad L. Coleman

Sarah Connor Pictures, Bartleby Company, C2 Pictures, The Halcyon Company, Warner Bros. Television, Fox, 31 Episodes, 43 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

There are nearly a half dozen versions of what happens after Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Having seen all the sequels and reboots, I have to say, this is the best version of a sequel to the first two iconic films.

Now I haven’t seen the new movie that just came out, so I’ll have to see how that measures up once I get around to watching it. But the only real selling point for me is the return of Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor.

But, if I’m being honest, I really like Lena Headey’s version of Sarah Connor after having finally seen this show.

Additionally, I also like Thomas Dekker’s John Connor, Summer Glau’s Terminator and the inclusion of Kyle Resse’s brother Derek, as played by Brian Austin Green, who I loved in this.

The cast is pretty solid, all around. Richard T. Jones did fantastic, as did Garret Dillahunt, who actually gets better as the show rolls on. I really thought that Dean Winters was a scene stealer in the episodes he was in though. I actually wish we would’ve gotten to see Winters more but then again, I wish this show could have survived beyond just a half season and one full season.

While this is an hour long drama show made for network television, it didn’t get bogged down by too much of the slice of life stuff. That did exist in the show but each episode had a purpose, was well paced and structured and you never felt like the characters were safe. There was always danger, they had to move a lot and thankfully, we didn’t get Summer Glau’s Terminator evolving into a happy homemaker, which was something I worried about before actually watching the show.

The Sarah Connor Chronicles builds off of the established mythos quote well and it explores some really interesting territory that none of the films have explored. There is a rogue liquid metal Terminator (played by Shirley Manson of the band Garbage), who is trying to build an anti-Skynet. You also have multiple timelines and different versions of characters that pop up. There was just a lot of neat angles the show took that we never get a real payoff to, as the second seasons ended on a cliffhanger that was never resolved.

This was a fantastic show that sadly didn’t get the longevity it needed to complete its story. Granted, everything could’ve gone to shit but I think that it probably would’ve been satisfying to see it all play out. Well, at least more satisfying than all the other attempts at a Terminator 3.

Rating: 8.75/10
Pairs well with: the first two Terminator films.

Film Review: Dredd (2012)

Also known as: Judge Dredd (Jamaica, Japan, working title), Dredd 3D (promotional title)
Release Date: July 11th, 2012 (San Diego Comic Con premiere)
Directed by: Pete Travis
Written by: Alex Garland
Based on: Judge Dredd by John Wagner, Carlos Ezquerra
Music by: Paul Leonard-Morgan
Cast: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Wood Harris, Lena Headey, Domhnall Gleeson

DNA Films, IM Global, Reliance Entertainment, Entertainment Film Distributors, Lionsgate, 95 Minutes

Review:

“In case you people have forgotten, this block operates under the same rules as the rest of the city. Ma-Ma is not the law… I am the law. Ma-Ma is a common criminal; guilty of murder, guilty of the manufacture and distribution of the narcotic known as Slo-Mo, and as of now under sentence of death. Any who obstruct me in carrying out my duty will be treated as an accessory to her crimes… you have been warned. And as for you Ma-Ma… judgement time.” – Judge Dredd

Not enough people saw this in the theater, myself included. But I did see it as soon as I was able to stream it. I wasn’t a big fan of what the original 1995 film was and even though I knew that this one was a much more serious picture, it didn’t get me into the theater.

That was my mistake though, as I really liked this movie the moment I saw it. It hit all the right notes and was just a badass bonanza of bullets, blood and brutality!

Dredd is the movie I’ve wanted ever since seeing the original RoboCop. It’s unapologetic, goes for the gusto and doesn’t relent in its intensity. Plus, Karl Urban’s version of Judge Dredd holds a special place in my heart right next to Peter Weller’s RoboCop.

Sadly, this didn’t do well enough to get a sequel but talks of continuing on with Urban as Dredd haven’t died down. But for now, we’ve still got this to enjoy, even if it just feels like a small sample size of what could be.

This is just a hair over 90 minutes, which is fine. It’s so intense that anything more might have been overkill.

The action is damn good and this film is just a masterpiece when it comes to pure destruction.

Beyond that, this is well acted between the three biggest components: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby and Lena Headey. In fact, Headey was incredibly good as a psychotic female crime boss that literally wore here vileness on her face. When Headey and Urban finally come face to face in the movie, it’s a fantastic moment, greatly accented by both actors’ work.

This has good effects, especially in regards to the scenes where we see the world through the eyes of the drug users. The finale that sees Headey’s Ma-Ma get doped up and thrown through a window, 200 stories to her death, was stunning. It was shot very dynamically and was masterfully crafted from the camerawork to the special effects.

These type of films are often referred to as “high octane” but this one goes beyond that. It’s a real throwback to the over the top, intense action pictures of the ’80s.

Dredd is a great template for how to do a hard R action movie. Frankly, the world could always use more of those.

Rating: 8.25/10
Pairs well with: the original Judge Dredd just to compare, as well as the first two Robocop movies.

Film Review: The Purge (2013)

Also known as: Vigilandia (working title)
Release Date: May 2nd, 2013 (Stanley Film Festival)
Directed by: James DeMonaco
Written by: James DeMonaco
Music by: Nathan Whitehead
Cast: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Adelaide Kane, Max Burkholder

Platinum Dunes, Blumhouse Productions, Why Not Productions, Universal Pictures, 85 Minutes

Review:

“Incoming reports show this year’s Purge has been the most successful to date, with the most murders committed.” – Newscaster

*written in 2014.

I watched this film and its first sequel back-to-back. I will follow up with my review of the sequel shortly.

As for this film, the first in The Purge series, it was pretty mediocre and the premise was so unbelievable that I had a hard time buying into it.

For those who don’t know the premise, basically ten years from now the United States government is run by some douchebags called the New Founding Fathers and they implement a thing called “The Purge”, which is an event where one night per year from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., all crimes including murder are legal. Why would the government do this? Well, it cuts down on crime the rest of the year, as people are allowed to get their built-up aggression out for one night. Also, it somehow solves all of our economic woes and makes America some utopia. The writers must have no clue about how economics works. Also, almost everyone buys into this insanity like it is a new religion.

Frankly, this film is trying to make a political statement but what that statement is, I am not sure. It is basically Hollywood liberal propaganda taken to such an extreme level that I wouldn’t be surprised if the studio stole this whole premise from an eleven year-old’s LiveJournal account. If this could happen in America, which it never would, more people would rise against it than support it. Reason being, even if this country is in bad shape and there is extreme polarization on almost every issue nowadays, most people are still inherently good and wouldn’t condone such savagery. Especially people with kids, which is nearly most adults.

I’d hate to keep harping on the bad premise but in no way does it work. Now if it was a scenario like Escape From New York or Arkham City or this premise was some response to a major natural disaster or a zombie outbreak, I could’ve bought into it a little better. Also, if it were more than just ten years in the future, I probably would’ve taken the bait. In the end, it is just an adolescent’s ill-plotted wet dream on screen.

And for a film that was basically guaranteed to be a murder-spree, this film wasn’t. Sure, a bunch of people do end up getting killed but it takes a hell of a lot of time to get to that point and when it happens, it is basically just the home invaders. The premise and the setup had you waiting for bloody chaos. What you got was a family hiding in closets with television sets.

The acting was okay, the villain kid was actually not bad and I liked his style and overall presentation, the cinematic style was effective and the kid actors weren’t horrible. The plot thread about the bum hiding in the house was annoying and more than half the film was spent searching the house for a hobo.

There was a plot twist at the end. It sucked and just added to the bullshit insanity of this whole shitshow. It’s as if the filmmakers thought that they were being clever. They weren’t.

I tried to forget about the premise and lose myself in the film and just accept what was playing out from scene-to-scene but nothing made sense. It was a film made to shock people… unintelligent people. Like the people who liked Paranormal Activity and all these other slew of modern horror films that would be better suited making coasters than actual playable DVDs.

I didn’t hate this movie; I just couldn’t take it seriously. It wasn’t cringeworthy; it was just an 85 minute waste of my time.

Rating: 4/10
Pairs well with: Other Purge movies.

TV Review: Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Original Run: April 17th, 2011 – present
Created by: David Benioff, D.B. Weiss
Directed by: various
Written by: various
Based on: A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin
Cast: Peter Dinklage, Lena Headey, Emilia Clarke, Kit Harrington, Sophie Turner, Maisie Williams, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Iain Glen, Alfie Allen, John Bradley, Conleth Hill, Aiden Gillen, Gwendoline Christie, Issac Hempstead Wright, Jerome Flynn, Julian Glover, Liam Cunningham, Rory McCann, Nathalie Emmanuel, Ben Crompton, Daniel Portman, Charles Dance, Carice van Houten, Natalie Dormer, Jack Gleeson, Michaelle Fairley, Kristofer Hivju, Ian McElhinney, Jacob Anderson, Stephen Dillane, Kristian Nairn, Hannah Murray, Mark Stanley, Richard Madden, Finn Jones, Iwan Rheon, Diana Rigg, Jonathan Pryce, Jason Momoa, Sean Bean, Mark Addy

Television 360, Grok! Television, Generator Entertainment, Startling Television, Bighead Littlehead, HBO Entertainment, 60 Episodes (so far), 50-69 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

Since I was a kid, I have always been a big fan of fantasy fiction. I never got into George R.R. Martin’s massive Game of Thrones books when they started coming out though. They were abnormally massive, had way too many characters with difficult names and although I like reading and I read pretty quickly, it is hard for me to give something so massive and seemingly tedious, that much of my attention.

I did not watch this show in the beginning. In fact, I figured that I’d put it off until after it was over and then just binge the whole thing. Years and seasons have gone by, however, and everyone and their mother and their mother’s mother has talked this show up like it is the second coming of Jesus. The hype and admiration for this show has been absolutely ridiculous. So when I got injured and was trapped in my house for several days with nothing to do, I finally fired up Game of Thrones.

Well, I am definitely in the extreme minority because I think the show is absolute shit.

In fact, I got a little over midway through the third season when I had to stop. I couldn’t suffer through anymore episodes, I had had enough and I didn’t care about a single person or situation on this show. Well, except for Maisie Williams’ Arya Stark. Really, she is the only interesting character out of the 817 that I was introduced to in two and a half seasons. Peter Dinklage, while a great actor and enjoyable on screen, just ran his course quickly. But he was the only other character I was even remotely engaged in. Fuck the Khaleesi and her stupid dragons, I’d rather have Shadowcat and Lockheed from the X-Men comics of the 80s.

The problem with this show is it is just talking and plotting and talking about plotting and then betrayal and more plotting and nothing really happens except a whole bunch of nothing. The fan boys who hated The Phantom Menace for all its long winded talkie bullshit should hate this show even more.

I mean, once in awhile a battle happens but it is always underwhelming and just leads to more talking and plotting and talking about plotting and betrayal and more plotting.

Game of Thrones is a fantasy epic for people who don’t like fantasy epics. It is one of the most boring shows I have ever seen. Occasionally you get a titty or two but the big stars stopped getting naked after season one. And all the fanboy love for Khaleesi is baffling to me. But maybe its because these nerds like girls who look twelve.

I hated Game of Thrones to the point where watching it felt like torture but I kept sticking with it because people kept saying, “Dude, stick with it, it’s the best show of all-time!” No it isn’t. If you even think this is even in the same ballpark as Breaking Bad, probably the actual greatest show of all-time, you’re fucking retarded.

I don’t usually get this frank and vulgar in reviews on Cinespiria but I feel like everyone I know fucking lied to me. Like Game of Thrones was just some big elaborate prank. If it was, you got me. You’re an asshole, but you got me.

Now HBO is planning like a half dozen spin-offs of this show. Why? I guess money talks but I’d rather have to sit through a nurse screwing up a dozen times trying to insert a catheter than to ever sit through another episode of this show.

Rating: 4/10