Film Review: Batman Begins (2005)

Also known as: Batman 5 (working title), Batman: Intimidation (script title), The Intimidation Game (fake working title)
Release Date: May 31st, 2005 (Tokyo premiere)
Directed by: Christopher Nolan
Written by: Christopher Nolan, David S. Goyer
Based on: characters by DC Comics
Music by: Hans Zimmer, James Newton Howard
Cast: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Cillian Murphy, Tom Wilkinson, Rutger Hauer, Ken Watanabe, Mark Boone Junior, Jack Gleeson

DC Comics, Syncopy, Warner Bros., 140 Minutes

Review:

“But I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your loved one is just… poison in your veins. And one day, you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed, so you would be spared your pain.” – Henri Ducard

When this first came out on DVD, I watched it almost weekly for a few years. I loved this film and to me, at least at the time, it was the greatest Batman film ever made. Hell, before the DVD release, I think I saw this at least three times in the theater.

I would end up liking The Dark Knight even more but the Nolan trilogy started with this film and it was a great introduction to his more serious and realistic Batman film series.

In retrospect now, I like the 1989 Batman slightly better but it’s magic was undone by the later films that followed and even though it took eight years, Batman Begins was the cinematic reboot that we needed after the Schumacher Batman pictures.

This film is so good, as are the ones that follow, that I’ve kind of accepted that no one will ever make a Batman film series as great. Frankly, these are the best films that Christopher Nolan has made and while the first film in a trilogy can often times feel like a practice run, this one is fairly close to perfect.

My only real gripe about it is that the pacing feels a bit disjointed at times. But there is also a lot of story and a lot of characters to balance here. I think that Nolan got much better with that in the next film. These aren’t things that break the film in any way but if I can’t give this a perfect score, I feel that I should explain why.

This is still energetic and every scene feels necessary. But it also feels like so much was wedged into it that it could’ve actually benefited from an extra 20-30 minutes. And that’s not something I’m usually a fan of, as I love 90 minute running times and this picture is already well over two hours. But when a film is this good, I never seem to mind that it requires more of my time.

Nolan got the best possible performances out of all of the actors involved and everyone in this is absolutely perfect. This was well cast and even Katie Holmes, who was replaced in the sequel, pulled off the best performance of her career. Normally, I wouldn’t put her at the same level as everyone else in this movie but she held her own and I was disappointed that she was recast in The Dark Knight.

In closing, this is a stellar motion picture where everything just works in the right way from the direction, cinematography, acting, the musical score by Hans Zimmer and the great character development.

Rating: 9.5/10
Pairs well with: the other two films in The Dark Knight Trilogy.

Film Review: Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)

Also known as: Killing Mrs. Tingle (working title)
Release Date: August 11th, 1999 (premiere)
Directed by: Kevin Williamson
Written by: Kevin Williamson
Music by: John Frizzell
Cast: Helen Mirren, Katie Holmes, Jeffrey Tambor, Barry Watson, Marisa Coughlan, Liz Stauber, Molly Ringwald, Vivica A. Fox, Michael McKean, Lesley Ann Warren

Dimension Films, Konrad Pictures, Interscope Communications, Miramax Films, 96 Minutes

Review:

“Oh, Mrs. Tingle, threats are a sign of weakness.” – Leigh Ann Watson

I wouldn’t call myself a Katie Holmes fan. Granted, I thought she was hot as hell when I was a teenager around the time she rose to fame but I wouldn’t say I was a fan of her acting work. Still, I’ve weirdly been watching a lot of old Katie Holmes films but that’s probably because they all seem to be on my Starz app and I’ve been on a late ’90s kick as of late.

Anyway, this film is far from great and is pretty dumb. It thinks it’s clever and it has a sort of pretentiousness to it but it just doesn’t connect in any sort of way that I can call it an intelligent film.

Frankly, I almost felt bad seeing Helen Mirren in this. She did look like she was having fun hamming it up in this but it is a movie that is far below her talent level. She was also the best thing about the picture but that wasn’t enough to make this salvageable.

You also get small roles for Molly Ringwald, Michael McKean and Jeffrey Tambor but they’re sort of overshadowed by the film’s humdrum mediocrity.

The premise is about a girl who is trying to be the valedictorian of her school because with it comes a hefty scholarship. Her teacher, Mrs. Tingle, is a jealous, cantankerous bitch that wants the girl to fail. One thing leads to another, everything escalates in an insane way that just doesn’t feel plausible and we end up with three teens holding Mrs. Tingle hostage in her own home with no real plan as to where any of this is going. It felt like the script had no idea either and the ending is anticlimactic, terrible and also pretty damn implausible.

Weirdly, the film still has a small teaspoon of charm. I’m not sure why but even if the storytelling mechanics don’t work, there are some good bits that really only work because of how committed Mirren is to the bit.

This isn’t a film worth hating or a film with liking. It wasn’t a terrible way to spend an hour and a half but it wasn’t a good one either. This is one of those films that is in a sort of limbo of indifference for me. But if you are a hardcore Mirren fan, it’s probably worth checking out just to see her.

Rating: 5.25/10
Pairs well with: Other Katie Holmes movies from the era: Disturbing BehaviorGo and The Gift. Also, The Faculty and Idle Hands.

Film Review: Disturbing Behavior (1998)

Release Date: July 24th, 1998
Directed by: David Nutter
Written by: Scott Rosenberg
Music by: Mark Snow
Cast: James Marsden, Katie Holmes, Nick Stahl, William Sadler, Bruce Greenwood, Steve Railsback, Katharine Isabelle, Ethan Embry

Village Roadshow Pictures, Beacon Pictures, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 83 Minutes

Review:

“Meet the musical little creatures that hide among the flowers.” – Betty Caldicott

My, god, man… look at that poster. It’s such a ’90s cliche. But then so is this entire movie.

I saw this in the theater way back in 1998 on a date. She picked the movie but I agreed, even though I thought this looked like teeny bopper pop horror bullshit. Luckily, horror hadn’t completely turned to shit by 1998 but I also had no idea that it would get so bad. But this film, in retrospect, showed me that the writing was on the wall for the sterilization of the horror genre. I probably saw the trends then but also didn’t think it could get much worse. A few years later, everything went PG-13 and theaters were full of middle schoolers screaming over half assed jump scares and CGI ghost arms.

This film’s plot is incredibly derivative. It borrows ideas from The Stepford WivesVillage of the DamnedChildren of the Corn and a bunch of other similar pictures. Basically, what you have is a town full of teens being brainwashed out of being angsty, rebellious youth. Okay, maybe it’s like Footloose where religion is replaced by science and dancing is replaced by sex and drugs. It’s also hard to ignore the narrative similarities to the much more recent and super successful Get Out. But that’s obviously not this film’s fault, as it predates Get Out by 19 years.

Anyway, a lot of horror is derivative. There isn’t a whole lot of innovation in the genre but that’s fine. Those of us who love horror don’t care so much about ideas being recycled, as long as it gives us something with a new twist or a new perspective. This film doesn’t really do that though.

I still find it enjoyable to watch however, in that sort of late night, nothing to do, mindless fun as I puff on a joint and drink painkillers (the cocktail not the pills from my Uncle Terry’s medicine cabinet).

This follows that mid-to-late ’90s trend where instead of populating a horror film with mostly unknowns, we get a studio trying to wedge in as many hot, trendy, TV teen actors as possible. This one unites Katie Holmes of Dawson’s Creek, James Marsden from the short lived Second Noah and Nick Stahl, who wasn’t a TV darling but was a young, hot commodity at the time. You also get Ethan Embry and Katharine Isabelle, both of whom had blossoming careers at the time. But you have to have a good veteran to kind of steer the ship in these sort of movies and that man was the always enjoyable William Sadler. Sadler was the best part about this picture.

One thing I like about the film is the tone. It had a ’90s grunge/industrial look, which was popular in the music videos of that decade. But also like ’90s music videos, it used overzealous editing techniques that made the movie a bit of a headache to watch for 83 minutes.

Speaking of which, 83 minutes?! Really? This film was so short and really, it could have been fleshed out a bit more. Would it have hurt to develop these characters more and enhance the story for an extra ten to fifteen minutes? This thing goes by like a flash and you don’t really feel connected to any of it.

Also, what’s the deal with that “shocking” ending? It makes no sense and I’m not sure what it was supposed to convey. Okay, one of the brainwashed kids survived and he’s a substitute teacher in a rough school. So does he have the ability to brainwash these kids? I mean, the evil doctor died. Did he program his minions with the knowledge of his work? It was a cheap attempt at trying to be surprising and clever and it was neither of those things. Maybe it was there to setup a pointless sequel with terrible writing that wouldn’t have been able to explain the asinine twist.

Disturbing Behavior definitely isn’t a bad time but it isn’t a great time either. It’s watchable, it’s enjoyable, it’s barely fun though. But I almost forgot how cute Katie Holmes was back in the day before Tom Cruise hid her away in a cave somewhere for like a decade.

Rating: 5.5/10
Pairs well with: The FacultyTeaching Mrs. TingleUrban LegendIdle Hands and other late ’90s teen horror.

Film Review: Logan Lucky (2017)

Release Date: August 9th, 2017 (Knoxville premiere)
Directed by: Steven Soderbergh
Written by: Rebecca Blunt
Music by: David Holmes
Cast: Channing Tatum, Adam Driver, Seth MacFarlane, Riley Keough, Katie Holmes, Katherine Waterston, Dwight Yoakam, Sebastian Stan, Hilary Swank, Daniel Craig, Brian Gleeson, David Denman, LeAnn Rimes, Jeff Gordon, Carl Edwards, Kyle Busch, Brad Keselowski, Joey Logano, Kyle Larson, Ryan Blaney

Fingerprint Releasing, Bleecker Street, 119 Minutes

Review:

“Derp! Derp! Derp!” – the whole cast

It wasn’t until I was sitting in my chair that I realized that this was a Soderbergh film. However, while I’ve never been a fan of his work, I’ll give just about anything a chance. Also, I didn’t want to waste my popcorn. Had I known this was Soderbergh’s work, I would’ve gone to see The Hitman’s Bodyguard instead.

However, giving the film an honest chance worked to my disadvantage and about a third of the way into my popcorn, it was stale and ground up shitty bits. At least I got the points on my Regal rewards card though.

This film is essentially a white trash Ocean’s 11. Some people may think that sounds funny or cool but it isn’t. Then again, I’m in the minority in thinking that those Oceans movies are awful. Also, the hillbilly is played up so much that it plays as more ridiculous and offensive than funny. But I guess that has something to do with the direction, over acting and the fact that there aren’t any good jokes in the script. I mean, it tries to be funny and charming but it doesn’t come close. The film is pretty much an emotional dud full of one-dimensional hillbilly caricatures.

I guess critics love this thing though, as it has a 93 percent on Rotten Tomatoes at the time that I’m writing this. But Steven Soderbergh is a darling to the elitist film experts that are still, for some reason, impressed with his 1989 debut Sex, Lies, and Videotape – a film that’s status I have never understood. The title was misleading as hell too. When I was twelve, I rented the movie expecting some serious boobage. The film only lives up to the “Lies” part of its title as it wasn’t filmed on “Videotape” and featured no “Sex”. At least, not the supreme boobage that I thought was guaranteed by the title.

Logan Lucky is the least funny attempt at a funny movie that I have seen in quite some time. Also, there just wasn’t that much action and the film was actually quite fucking boring. This didn’t need to be two hours. The film could have been whittled down to 80 minutes and been filled with better jokes and feature a bit of action and it would have been a pretty decent time killer.

I feel bad for the talented cast, having wasted their efforts on this piece of shit. But then again, they work in Hollywood so they probably share the same sentiment that Soderbergh is some sort of auteur mastermind.

All things considered, I have to run this turkey through the Cinespiria Shitometer. The results read, “Type 3 Stool: Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface.”

Rating: 3/10