Film Review: See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989)

Release Date: May 12th, 1989
Directed by: Arthur Hiller
Written by: Earl Barret, Arne Sultan, Eliot Wald, Andrew Kurtzman, Gene Wilder, Marvin Worth
Music by: Stewart Copeland
Cast: Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Joan Severance, Kevin Spacey, Alan North, Anthony Zerbe, Zach Grenier

TriStar Pictures, 103 Minutes

Review:

“Today I threatened to shoot a naked woman with my erection.” – Dave

I love Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. I especially love when they team up.

Starting with one of the latter team up films may seem weird but this was actually the first one I saw. I also got to experience it in the theater and its the first time my mum took me to a movie with boobies in it, so I had to try and dodge her hand as she attempted to shield my eyes from the mesmerizing and perfect Joan Severance.

While this is far from a great film and not close to the best of either man’s career, their chemistry is infectious and they’re so great at the buddy formula that there’s just something endearing about this and it’s a movie with genuine heart and soul in it.

Pryor plays a blind man and Wilder plays a deaf man. That is the setup for nearly all the jokes in the movie but even if that sounds like it’d get old really fast, they come up with several clever gags that work throughout the film and the formula doesn’t get as tired as one would expect. Also, it kind of draws awareness to the limitations of those handicaps even though it’s using them for humor. A film like this would probably be shunned in our current PC climate but in 1989, we still knew how to laugh and also understood that sometimes that’s an effective way of dealing with difficult and uncomfortable things.

Not having seen this in years, I forgot that it had Kevin Spacey in it, as well as character actors Anthony Zerbe and Zach Grenier. Joan Severance steals all the scenes she’s in, though, and I was always kind of surprised that her career didn’t take off after this, Bird On A Wire and No Holds Barred. Well, okay… I can see why no one views No Holds Barred as anything other than a cheesy, vanity film for a professional wrestler that essentially just played himself.

In this film, a man is murdered and a careless mistake makes the two stars the prime suspects. Heck, the only suspects. They have to work together to escape the police, clear their names and take down the bad guys. Most importantly, they find true friendship and as corny as this film can get in certain moments, this is where the heart really comes in.

You could tell that these guys loved each other in real life and many of their conversations felt organic and natural even if they usually centered around their characters’ disabilities.

I definitely like this movie more than most people but it’s great escapism, carries a good, positive message and it’s hard not to feel better about life once the credits roll. 

Rating: 6.75/10
Pairs well with: other comedies with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder.

Film Review: Bird On a Wire (1990)

Release Date: May 18th, 1990
Directed by: John Badham
Written by: Louis Venosta, David Seltzer
Music by: Hans Zimmer
Cast: Mel Gibson, Goldie Hawn, David Carradine, Bill Duke, Joan Severance, Stephen Tobolowsky

Interscope Communications, The Badham/Cohen Group, Universal Pictures, 110 Minutes

Review:

“You come to Detroit and you rent a Beamer? That’s like going to Germany and eating Jimmy Dean sausages!” – Rick Jarmin

I hadn’t seen this in a decade or so but I forgot how enjoyable this was until I revisited it.

I mean, it has Mel Gibson during the height of his career, coming off of the first two Lethal Weapon movies and the Mad Max trilogy. It also has Goldie Hawn who was the quintessential ’80s comedy damsel in distress archetype. You also have them being hunted by David Carradine and Bill Duke, alongside Stephen Tobolowsky, who I will always just see as Stu from Californication. I also can’t forget the small part Joan Severance has in this as a total badass.

Mel Gibson plays Rick but he has a bunch of different names because he has been bouncing around for fifteen years, as he’s under witness protection after sending David Carradine’s drug smuggling character to prison. Carradine gets out, re-teams with his old partner, played by Bill Duke, and they set out to finally take out Rick, the one man that can stop them from going back to their old ways. Rick runs into his ex-fiance Marianne, played by Hawn, and this exposes him to the bad guys. Rick and Marianne then spend the movie on the run from Carradine and Duke, as they are forced to revisit several people from Rick’s witness protection past.

The plot is pretty good, fairly believable and a nice unique narrative twist that calls back to classic noir. Although, this is not a film-noir in any way, really. It’s an ’80s style action movie with a lot of laughs.

The coolest thing about the entire film is the final showdown, which happens at an indoor zoo exhibit that features tigers, alligators, monkeys and other dangerous creatures ready to make lunch out of anyone that finds themselves in their path. I absolutely love the finale of this film and while it has a hokiness to it, it is just a badass and incredibly well shot spectacle. The sequence of Marianne running from the tigers is better choreographed than one would expect from a simple action comedy from 1990.

The other thing that makes this work so well is that Gibson and Hawn have incredible chemistry and are believable as ex-lovers that fell away from one another, only to reconnect and find the spark is still burning strong.

Bird On a Wire is a better movie than it deserves to be, honestly. That’s not a knock against the filmmakers or actors, it’s just that films like these aren’t typically this good.

Rating: 7.25/10
Pairs well with: Lethal Weapon 2Air America, See No Evil, Hear No EvilWildcats and Overboard

Film Review: No Holds Barred (1989)

Release Date: June 2nd, 1989
Directed by: Thomas J. Wright
Written by: Dennis Hackin
Music by: Jim Johnston
Cast: Hulk Hogan, Kurt Fuller, Joan Severance, Tiny Lister, David Paymer, Jesse Ventura, Gene Okerlund, Howard Finkel, Stan Hansen

Shane Distribution Company, New Line Cinema, 93 Minutes

noholdsbarred6pcReview:

No Holds Barred is an amazing movie! Okay, that may be an overstatement and yes, I am aware that it was critically panned and that it has been the butt of jokes for nearly three decades but who gives a shit what those snobbish film nerds and Hulkster haters out there have to say?

This movie was a vehicle to launch Hulk Hogan’s film career. Let’s be honest, Hogan sucks as an actor and all of his films after this one are abominations and blights on the film industry. No Holds Barred however, had some very enjoyable bits and had some redeeming qualities that set it apart and have made it an entertaining movie.

The acting was awful, the cinematography was b-movie 80s schlock, the plot was worse than the acting and the characters were beyond goofy and bizarre. But those are the things that made it great. Because while those elements can easily create a stomach-churning viewing experience, there are those films that somehow have the right balance and formula that magically transform those bad elements into something exceptional.

No Holds Barred is a beautiful smorgasbord of bad 80s filmmaking clichés. It is quite literally a perfect storm.

As a kid, I didn’t get to see the film until it was out for 6 months. Two days after Christmas in 1989, the World Wrestling Federation held a pay-per-view event called No Holds Barred: The Movie, The Match. That event showcased the film in its entirety and was then followed by a tornado tag team cage match pitting Hulk Hogan and his partner Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake against “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Hogan’s opponent in the film, Zeus. Zeus was played by now semi-famous actor Tommy “Tiny” Lister, Jr. Lister has since gone on to star in a ton of films and television shows, most notably Friday and The Fifth Element.

Having just experienced this film for the first time in years, I was still entertained and loved it. It brought me back to a time when professional wrestling still felt magical, Hulk Hogan was a god and Joan Severance replaced Phoebe Cates as the apple of my eye.

Sure, this may not have the same effect on others; I am probably falling victim to nostalgia but I don’t care. This film is in a rare breed considering that it is still completely stupid yet completely awesome. If you don’t believe me, watch the clip below.

Rating: 6.5/10

And now, the trailer!