Comic Review: Cobra II: Act 2: Clean House

Published: 2020
Written by: Teddy Goldenberg
Art by: Teddy Goldenberg
Based on: Cobra by Sylvester Stallone, Cannon Films

Teddy Goldenberg Comics, 48 Pages

Review:

I love Sly Stallone’s Cobra and even though it’s never officially gotten a sequel, that didn’t stop Teddy Goldenberg from giving us the next best thing.

Since I really dug the first part of the story, as soon as this second and final part came out, I had to grab it from Goldenberg’s website. You can do that too by going here.

Overall, this one is also a lot of fun, as well as being gritty, utterly awesome and taking that ’80s action movie formula and upping the ante in a crazy and great way.

It’s like a Cannon Films action flick on steroids but this chapter in the series gets real f’n trippy, as Marion Cobretti gets closer to solving the crime and confronting his own dastardly father, who has a striking resemblance to Christopher Walken.

I love this indie outlaw, bootleg stuff and this is one of the best out there. I like the first part a bit more but this concludes the story in a cool and unpredictable way and frankly, it just makes me want to see what else Goldenberg could do with unofficial sequels to other similar films. Or hell, just give us a Cobra III because Marion Cobretti needs to live on forever.

Rating: 7/10
Pairs well with: the first part of this story, as well as the bootleg Hungarian Cobra comic book I recently reviewed here.

Film Review: Iron Eagle (1986)

Release Date: January 17th, 1986
Directed by: Sidney J. Furie
Written by: Kevin Alyn Elders, Sidney J. Furie
Music by: Basil Poledouris
Cast: Louis Gossett Jr., Jason Gedrick, David Suchet, Larry B. Scott, Caroline Lagerfelt, Tim Thomerson, Shawnee Smith, Melora Hardin, Lance LeGault, Jerry Levine, Robbie Rist, Michael Bowen

Delphi Films, Falcon’s Flight, TriStar Pictures, 117 Minutes

Review:

“I wonder what a Cessna looks like splattered all over those rocks?” – Packer

This doesn’t survive on nostalgia points for me. Honestly, I didn’t even like this film as a kid. I mean, I enjoyed the last half hour, as that’s where the action comes in but everything leading up to that was really damn boring.

Seeing this now, and it has been at least thirty years, I was surprised that I wasn’t pulled into it a bit more as it features two teen actors from the time that I really liked: Larry B. Scott and Jerry Levine.

But the real problem with this movie is that it’s too damn long. I mean, this is nearly two full hours and only the last half hour is actually somewhat enjoyable. And to be honest, they could’ve lobbed 30 to 40 minutes off of this thing and no one would’ve noticed.

Additionally, even though the actual mission at the end is fairly fun, it’s full of flaws and errors that are distracting.

The main thing that sticks out is the editing. There are multiple moments in the movie where the video loop behind the pilots’ heads resets. So you’re looking at closeups of pilots in the cockpit talking and the background goes from a clouded sky to a quick jump of clear sky.

Plus, there are mistakes in how the action is edited that don’t make sense from a logistic and physics standpoint.

I think the thing that may irritate more than the shoddy editing is the models used for the planes, as every time one explodes, it is obviously a miniature and made of wood. Fighter jets don’t splinter like a balsa wood chair in a Chaplin movie. But I get it, it’s the ’80s, CGI didn’t exist like it does now and the film had a modest budget. But no one could call in a favor to one of the guys that worked on model making for the Star Wars or Star Trek films?

The acting is pretty bad too. And even though Louis Gossett Jr. has shown that he has chops, I think that it is this movie that actually wrecked his career. He went from An Officer and a Gentleman to this? But hey, at least it allowed him to have his own franchise, which he would then have to rely on over the course of three shitty sequels.

Seeing Iron Eagle now, I don’t hate it. It just would have been much better with a lot of stuff left on the cutting room floor and a bit more refinement in the film’s action packed climax.

I’m going to completely ignore the fact that the plot is stupid because this is the ’80s and it was escapism for kids, trying to capitalize off of the popularity of movies like Red Dawn. But in case you don’t know what the plot is, it’s about a decorated Colonel that helps a teenager steal an Air Force fighter plane to attack an enemy country in an effort to save the kid’s dad. Let that marinate for a minute.

So if I ever do watch this again, I’ll just skip to the finale and ignore the plot details.

Rating: 5.25/10
Pairs well with: probably its subpar sequels and other ’80s and ’90s teens movies that throw kids into war or combat like Red Dawn, The Rescue and Toy Soldiers.

Comic Review: Cobra II: Act 1: Claw Marks

Published: 2018
Written by: Teddy Goldenberg
Art by: Teddy Goldenberg
Based on: Cobra by Sylvester Stallone, Cannon Films

Teddy Goldenberg Comics, 36 Pages

Review:

Sly Stallone’s Cobra is one of my favorite ’80s action films. It’s a movie I’ve wanted a sequel to since I first saw it in 1986, as a seven year-old that knew more about Cannon Films entire filmography than Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus.

So once I discovered that an unofficial sequel in comic book form came out in 2018, I had to track down a copy. I went directly to its creator’s website and purchased it. It’s actually quite affordable, even with shipping from Israel and it arrived much quicker than I had anticipated.

It’s also really cool that the writer/artist Teddy Goldenberg is from Israel, as that’s where Golan and Globus originated from.

All that being said, this was a lot of fun to read. It’s well written for fans of the original film, especially in regards to its tone. I thought the humor was solid and there are more than a few panels that had me laugh out loud in a literal sense.

The art isn’t the best but it doesn’t need to be. This feels like a true blue bootleg comic from a bygone era and it’s actually better than the art from the Hungarian bootleg Cobra adaptation I read earlier this year. Plus, Goldenberg does a pretty good job at getting the likeness of Stallone to come across.

The art may feel unrefined in some regard but there is talent within it and it’s imperfections are what make it so cool to look at. I’m not saying that the art style is deliberate but it works and it works damn well.

If you love Cobra as much as I do, you really need to get yourself a copy of this really cool comic. Plus, it’s roughly ashcan size and everyone loves ashcans.

Rating: 8/10
Pairs well with: the bootleg Hungarian Cobra comic book I recently reviewed here.

Film Review: The Delta Force (1986)

Release Date: February 14th, 1986
Directed by: Menahem Golan
Written by: James Bruner, Menahem Golan
Music by: Alan Silvestri
Cast: Chuck Norris, Lee Marvin, Martin Balsam, Joey Bishop, Kim Delaney, Robert Forster, Lainie Kazan, George Kennedy, Hanna Schygulla, Susan Strasberg, Bo Svenson, Robert Vaughn, Shelley Winters, Steve James

Golan-Globus Productions, Cannon Films, 129 Minutes

Review:

This may be my favorite Chuck Norris film of all-time but I need to watch Missing In Action again, because it’s been awhile.

This film is like two films in one. There is the first part which has to do with Lebanese terrorists hijacking a plane. I’m not really sure why because I don’t know if it was even explained but they spend the first half of the movie flying, landing, flying, taking Jewish hostages, flying some more.

The second half of the film deals with Chuck Norris’ team of bad ass Delta Force MFers trying to rescue some hostages from the terrorist compound. Chuck is joined by veteran Lee Marvin and American Ninja sidekick Steve James.

Asses get kicked, stuff gets exploded, everything gets shot and Norris rides a bad ass motorcycle that shoots missiles! What’s not to love?

The cinematography was average, the acting was below average, the plot wasn’t important but did you read the previous paragraph?

The Delta Force is a fun movie. Especially for those of us with nuts full of testosterone.

Rating: 6/10

Film Review: God’s Gun (1976)

Also known as: Diamante Lobo (Italy)
Release Date: 1976 (Italy)
Directed by: Frank Kramer
Written by: John Fonseca, Frank Kramer
Music by: Sante Maria Romitelli
Cast: Lee Van Cleef, Jack Palance, Richard Boone, Sybil Danning, Robert Lipton, Cody Palance, Leif Garrett

Golan-Globus Productions, Dunamis Cinematografica, Rovi Film Produktions, The Irwin Yablans Company, Cannon Films, 94 Minutes

gods_gunReview:

What’s better than two of the best western villains in history going head-to-head? Not much, really. Okay, maybe a lot actually, if we’re talking about this movie.

The film pits Lee Van Cleef against Jack Palance. In fact, Van Cleef plays two roles – a heroic priest and his gunslinging twin brother. Palance plays the villain and is just as sinister as he has always been.

The cast is rounded out by Richard Boone, Sybil Danning and a very young Leif Garrett.

God’s Gun is an entertaining enough film and it is a better-than-decent spaghetti western but it isn’t all that special. Van Cleef is always good and Palance is just a solid villain all around. The best part about this film is seeing these two legends come together. Everything else in the movie is pretty cookie cutter and some stuff, even for a spaghetti movie, is a bit hokey.

Compared to the works of spaghetti maestros Corbucci and Sollima, it lacks energy and seems pretty toned down in the violence department, which is bizarre for a film featuring killer rapists running rampant.

The characters are likable, the plot is fine and has a few surprises. Plus, the music was fairly good.

I like the film but I can instantly name a dozen or so Italian westerns that are much better than this one. It certainly isn’t a must-see unless you are an avid fan of Van Cleef, Palance, Boone, Danning or for some reason, Garrett.

Rating: 6/10