Film Review: Movie 43 (2013)

Also known as: Truth or Dare (working title)
Release Date: January 1st, 2013 (Russia)
Directed by: Steven Brill, Peter Farrelly, Will Graham, Steve Carr, Griffin Dunne, James Duffy, Jonathan van Tulleken, Elizabeth Banks, Patrik Forsberg, Brett Ratner, Rusty Cundieff, James Gunn, Bob Odenkirk, Steve Baker, Damon Escott
Written by: Steve Baker, Ricky Blitt, Will Carlough, Tobias Carlson, Jacob Fleisher, Patrik Forsberg, Will Graham, James Gunn, Claes Kjellstrom, Jack Kukoda, Bob Odenkirk, Bill O’Malley, Matthew Alec Portenoy, Greg Pritikin, Rocky Russo, Olle Sarri, Elizabeth Wright Shapiro, Jeremy Sosenko, Jonathan van Tulleken, Jonas Wittenmark
Music by: Christophe Beck, David J. Hodge, Leo Birenberg, Tyler Bates, Miles Moon, William Goodrum
Cast: Elizabeth Banks, Kristen Bell, Halle Berry, Leslie Bibb, Kate Bosworth, Gerard Butler, Josh Duhamel, Anna Faris, Richard Gere, Terrence Howard, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Knoxville, Justin Long, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloë Grace Moretz, Liev Schreiber, Emma Stone, Jason Sudekis, Uma Thurman, Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet, Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Common, Charlie Saxton, Will Sasso, Seth MacFarlane, Mark L. Young, Fisher Stevens, Beth Littleford, Julie Ann Emery, Chris Pratt, J.B. Smoove, Kieran Culkin, Bobby Cannavale, Patrick Warburton, Seann William Scott, Stephen Merchant, Snooki, Emily Alyn Lind, Julianne Moore (scene cut), Tony Shalhoub (scene cut), Bob Odenkirk (scene cut), Anton Yelchin (scene cut)

Relativity Media, Virgin Produced, GreeneStreet Films, 94 Minutes

Review:

“Excuse me, I’m gonna go do some Batman-ing.” – Fake Batman

I never wanted to see this movie and that was before I heard how bad it was when it came out. Also, the few people who seemed to like it were people that have historically had terrible recommendations in not just movies but just about everything in life.

Recently, I was told to watch it and I kind of just said fuck it because part of me was curious and wanted to know if this was as bad as I had heard it was.

It’s worse.

In fact, I can confidently say that this is the biggest waste of talent I have ever seen in a motion picture.

It’s so bad that it’s beyond atrocious. So much so, that I find it not just baffling that this film attracted so many big stars but I find it really unnerving.

Who greenlit this fucking thing? And how many terrible agents are there in Hollywood? Fire all of them!

Anyway, I had to start asking myself some questions while trying to work this film’s existence out in my brain:

  1. Is everyone in Hollywood actually insane?
  2. Do the Hollywood elite want all of us to commit seppuku?
  3. Do the Hollywood elite think that sucking their own assholes is a good use of time?
  4. Did this movie somehow leak over from a parallel dimension where Earth actually is Hell?
  5. Did all of these “artists” commit some unspeakable crime and this was secretly some sort of punishment for said crime?
  6. Did all of these people lose a bet?
  7. Was this movie actually the result of a writing contest for mental patients?
  8. Is this what people mean by “anti-humor”?
  9. Did the person who put up the money have some sort of Brewster’s Millions deal where they had to throw away money to get their full inheritance?
  10. Was this produced to debut on an earlier, failed attempt at CBS trying a streaming service?

I mean, those are all legitimate questions. In fact, I’d say that they’re more legitimate than this film.

This is the worst movie I’ve seen that was made for less than thirty dollars.

The film was full of crude jokes, none of which landed, and it offered up a bunch of gross out moments that just come across as Hollywood trying so hard to be edgy when in reality, they haven’t had their fucking balls in a long time.

Honestly, seeing how “politically correct” and “apologetic” the Hollywood elite have become since SJWs emerged and Cancel Culture took hold, this film feels like them desperately trying to get all the edgy shit out of their system before they all started their “I’m sorry, I’ll strive to do better” world tour.

Additionally, none of these gross out moments are all that effective if you’ve been a fan of ’70s and ’80s horror. Go watch Society and try again. Better yet, you shouldn’t have tried at all.

I think that film critic Robbie Collin said it best in his review of the movie:

“I was immediately overcome with a sudden rush of emotion: not amusement, anger or even mild irritation, but a profound and faintly tragic sense of pity.”

Speaking of reviews, let’s look at what all the big sites think. IMDb gives it a 4.3/10, Rotten Tomatoes gives it 5 percent from critics with 24 percent from the audience, Metacritic gives it an 18 percent and Richard Roeper referred to it as “the Citizen Kane of awful.”

In closing, I’ll simply state:

Rating: 0/10
Pairs well with: bad cavities and genital warts.

Film Review: Brigsby Bear (2017)

Release Date: January 23rd, 2017 (Sundance)
Directed by: Dave McCary
Written by: Kyle Mooney, Kevin Costello
Music by: David Wingo
Cast: Kyle Mooney, Mark Hamill, Greg Kinnear, Matt Walsh, Michaela Watkins, Ryan Simpkins, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., Alexa Demie, Claire Danes, Andy Samberg, Chance Crimin, Jane Adams, Kate Lyn Sheil

Lord Miller Productions, Kablamo!, 3311 Productions, YL Pictures, Sony Pictures Classics, 97 Minutes

Review:

“You really wanna do this with me?” – James Pope, “Yeah, man. I mean… there’s not a lot of stuff like this out there.” – Spencer

Back in late January, going into Sundance, a friend of mine, who works for an independent film distributor, expressed his excitement in anticipation for seeing this film. Afterwards, he couldn’t stop talking about it but luckily, he didn’t spoil anything.

Coming out of Sundance, this is the one movie I heard the most buzz about and I hoped it would get the wide release it seemed to deserve. It came out in big cities first, as these things tend to do, but it finally got to my town this past weekend.

At first I was excited to see this playing in the premier theater room with the largest screen in town. Sadly, I was the only person in the entire theater but I guess that is to be expected in Southwest Florida where our biggest contribution to entertainment culture is the annual Swamp Buggy Races. I once dated a Swamp Buggy Queen, by the way.

Anyway, after seeing this and being pretty much captivated by the film in the greatest way possible, I’ve done my part telling everyone I know about it. Granted, most of them just want to talk about the fact that football is starting. But the important thing is that this did captivate me and I loved the picture.

Reason being, is that it carries a huge positive message for people like me, who may now be adults but who refuse to give up on the things they love and who will always really be young at heart and in their mind. On the flip side of that, the film also shows adults who have grown away from the things they love and who fight against their passions because adult life doesn’t have room for passion and dreams.

There are a lot of layers to this film and I’m not sure if they were all intentional or if opening up Pandora’s box allowed all of these things to just flow into the narrative. Either way, the picture stands as a reminder that we should always make time for the things we love and that happiness is found in being true to oneself. It also shows how important it is to have good people around you.

Brigsby Bear is as good as it was hyped up to me through my friend and the praise I’ve read about it for months. It is one of my favorite films of the year and certainly the best comedic drama, thus far into 2017.

It is superbly acted, especially in regards to its star, as well as writer and creator, Kyle Mooney. I’m not as familiar with him as I should be as I don’t really watch Saturday Night Live anymore. However, if his work on this film is any indicator of what he is capable of, I’ll be watching his career like Supreme Chancellor Palpatine watched young Anakin’s.

Rating: 8.25/10