Video Game Review: G.I. Joe: Cobra Strike (Atari 2600)

This game is absolute shit.

I’m not sure what this has to do with G.I. Joe other than it using the franchise’s logo and then having a giant cobra that spits pixels on little army men.

And that’s basically all the game is.

There’s a giant, slithery cobra that spits pixel venom, Army dudes run from one building to another for some reason and then there are two little guns that I guess are used to shoot the snake while you also have to move some Pong paddle around while trying to deflect the pixel venom.

It’s poorly designed with shit controls, an objective that isn’t very clear and nothing but absolute and utter repetitiveness.

Couldn’t they have just made a game where you play as Duke running through the desert punching Cobra troopers?

Rating: 1/10
Pairs well with: jenkem.

Vids I Dig 098: Comic Tropes: Rare ‘G.I. Joe’ Comics

From Comic Tropes’ YouTube description: This video is part of Cobra Convergence, a yearly event where content creators focus on G.I. Joe and their enemy, Cobra. This year, I take a look at some fairly uncommon comics. A European version of G.I. Joe that takes on a splinter sect of Cobra and is tied to the Marvel superhero universe; a G.I. Joe book illustrated by Todd McFarlane that Marvel decided to completely redo by another artist; and the origins of G.I. Joe’s Russian counterparts, the Oktober Guard.

Vids I Dig 092: The Attic Dwellers: Bound Comic Books – ‘G.I. Joe’, ‘Avengers’, ‘Eternals’, ‘Star Brand’

From The Attic Dwellers’ YouTube description: Some say binding your comics will save you both space and your sanity. Eric agrees. That’s why he bound his G.I. JOE – AVENGERS – ETERNALS – STAR BRAND COMICS!

Vids I Dig 088: Toy Galaxy: The History of ‘G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero’ – the Cartoon, the Toys and the Comic Books

From Toy Galaxy’s YouTube description: On this episode we dive deep into the history of GI Joe: A Real American Hero.

The cartoon, the action figures and the comic books all working together in a first of its kind effort to resurrect a property that had been dormant for a number of years.

Book Review: ‘The Joy of Joe: Memories of America’s Movable Fighting Man from Today’s Grown-Up Kids’

This pretty short book is a collection of a few dozen essays written by some fairly notable people, about their childhood love of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero.

Some essays are about the old ’60s toys but most are about the ’80s version of G.I. Joe and all of it’s forms: toys, comics and the cartoon.

Fabian Nicieza even contributed to the book, which was cool as I’ve been a big fan of his comic book writing since the early ’90s.

This obviously won’t mean much to non-G.I. Joe fans but for those of us who have a love of the franchise, it was really nice reading about how passionate these writers are about the toyline and everything that came with it.

In the end, it’s just nice being reminded from time to time that you’re not alone in your love of something that feels long gone, that will probably never be the same, even after several attempts at resurrection.

Rating: 6.5/10

Comic Review: IDW Deviations

Published: 2017
Written by: various
Art by: various
Based on: Judge Dredd by John Wagner and Carlos Ezquerra, The X-Files by Chris Carter, Ghostbusters by Ivan Reitman, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis, G.I. Joe by Hasbro, Transformers by Hasbro, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, My Little Pony by Bonnie Zacherle, Star Trek by Gene Roddenberry

IDW Publishing, 356 Pages

Review:

So IDW decided to do their own version of Marvel’s What If?… series and DC’s Elseworlds tales. Except, IDW doesn’t have really any creations of their own, at least none that anyone really seems to care about. Instead, they are most known for printing comics of intellectual properties that they pay for publishing rights to have.

This series of one-shots gave us “what if” tales for Judge Dredd, G.I. Joe, Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Star Trek, X-Files, Ghostbusters and My Little Pony.

At their best, there were a few issues that were simply, okay. But most of these were terrible. And they weren’t terrible for one reason, they had just about everything going wrong for them.

In fact, the only two of these that I would give a passing grade to are Donny Cates’ take on Star Trek, which is still a poor effort considering Cates’ caliber, as well as the Transformers one, which gave us an alternate take on the events of the original animated motion picture.

The worse one of the lot was the one I was most excited for: G.I. Joe. It was a big, lame, unfunny joke that poked at some of the franchise’s tropes but did so without the writer having a single funny bone in their entire body. I’ve never not laughed so hard.

This was something that had potential, could have given us some really cool results and honestly, shouldn’t have been that hard to write at even a passable level. IDW has lost their fucking way, man. I guess it’s no surprise that the company is up shit’s creek, now getting bailouts from Marvel on their D-list comic books.

Frankly, I’m pissed I paid for these issues.

Rating: 3.5/10
Pairs well with: the IDW 20/20, Infestation and Revolution events, as well as some of the IDW crossovers.

Comic Review: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero: Silent Option

Published: September 19th, 2018 – March 13th, 2019
Written by: Larry Hama, Ryan Ferrier
Art by: Netho Diaz, Kenneth Loh
Based on: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero by Hasbro

IDW Publishing, 151 Pages

Review:

This four-part miniseries is the latest G.I. Joe story from longtime G.I. Joe writer Larry Hama. It is also the first IDW G.I. Joe story that I’ve read in several months, as I was starting to get burnt out on the franchise due to how IDW has handled it since Chuck Dixon and Mike Costa left the series.

Larry Hama is still writing the regular ongoing series that started at Marvel in the early ’80s but it just doesn’t have the same magic it used to and so much has changed for the worse that I don’t much care for Hama’s ongoing continuity even though his work, decades ago, is what initially got me into buying comic books to begin with.

I wanted to check this out, though. The main reason is that I’ve been yearning for a good G.I. Joe story and this miniseries is centered around Helix, a modern character but one I came to love in the IDW rebooted continuity. I know, I know, these multiple continuities can get confusing but I believe that this is technically Helix’s first appearance in the original Hama continuity, so I wanted to see how it played out.

Overall, her story was good but this complete story arc was pretty mundane. I’m an old school fan, so the lack of Cobra in this story sucked, as did the lack of old school Joes. Sure, the story featured Firefly but the villain was generic and just had some red ninjas to do her bidding and on the Joe side we got Alpine and tiny cameos from Hawk, Cutter and Shipwreck but this was pretty much a new Joe team featuring characters that are poor recreations of iconic Joe members.

Hell, we get two new versions of Snake Eyes here but neither of them are even 5 percent as cool as the original. I don’t dig the girl Snake Eyes and it seems like a cheap attempt by IDW at trying to create their own X-23 type of character. For those that don’t know, X-23 was a female clone of Wolverine in Marvel Comics titles.

I thought the art was mostly good and this had a harder edge to it than most of Hama’s G.I. Joe stories, as it dealt with human sex trafficking, but it lacked in badass points when compared to the Dixon and Costa G.I. Joe stories from the IDW reboot continuity.

This wasn’t a complete waste of time but it didn’t do much to motivate me to give G.I. Joe a seventeenth chance.

Rating: 6.25/10
Pairs well with: any of the Larry Hama G.I. Joe stuff at IDW.