TV Review: 100 Years of Horror (1996-1997)

Original Run: 1996 – 1997
Created by: Ted Newsom, Dante J. Pugliese
Directed by: Ted Newsom
Written by: Ted Newson, Jeff Forrester (uncredited)
Cast: Christopher Lee (presenter), Roger Corman, Hugh Hefner, Fred Olen Ray, Richard Denning, Bela Lugosi Jr., Hazel Court, Robert Wise, Beverly Garland, Gloria Talbott, Sara Karloff, Dick Miller, Caroline Munro, John Agar, Ralph Bellamy, John Carpenter, Richard Matheson, Linnea Quigley, various

Multicom Entertainment Group, 26 Episodes, 22 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

I’m glad that this documentary television series was made when it was, in the mid-’90s, as it allowed for the children of multiple horror icons to be involved and to tell stories about their fathers, their careers and their personal lives outside of the public eye.

Additionally, I love that this was able to include a lot of the filmmakers, writers and actors that were involved in a lot of classic horror films. Had this been made today, a lot of these people wouldn’t have been able to tell their stories in their own words, as they’re no longer with us.

Also, I love that Christopher Lee was the presenter of this series, as there wasn’t a more perfect choice available.

This series features 26 episodes, roughly 22 minutes apiece. Each episode tackles a different subject, be it a type of monster or a legendary horror actor. Plus, each episode covers a lot of ground for its running time, jumping through history and trying to show the audience everything it possibly can on the subject.

There really isn’t a dull episode, as there are so many different things that can be covered. There could’ve been more episodes and there still would’ve more topics to explore.

I like that this just dives right in and delivers so much. In fact, every episode showed me something I wasn’t aware of and helped me expand my list of old school horror movies that I still have left to watch and review.

All in all, this was pretty great and classic horror fans will probably find themselves lost in each episode, traveling through time and seeing things they still haven’t seen before.

Rating: 7.5/10

Film Review: Cyclone (1987)

Also known as: Tornado (Germany)
Release Date: June 5th, 1987
Directed by: Fred Olen Ray
Written by: Paul Garson, T.L. Lankford, Fred Olen Ray (uncredited)
Music by: Haunted Garage, David A. Jackson, Michael Sonye
Cast: Heather Thomas, Jeffrey Combs, Dar Robinson, Martine Beswick, Martin Landau, Huntz Hall, Troy Donahue

Cinetel Films, 89 Minutes

Review:

“You’re as plastic as your tits!” – Teri Marshall

I recently reviewed another Fred OIen Ray movie called Alienator. That was an atrocious motion picture in every way. Cyclone, however, was fairly enjoyable and had the right kind of sexiness and cheesiness that made it an okay way to waste 89 minutes.

Plus, I really liked Heather Thomas when I watched reruns of The Fall Guy when I was a kid in the mid-’80s. Although, who didn’t like Ms. Thomas?

This also features Re-Animator‘s Jeffrey Combs and the great Martin Landau because I guess he needed money at the time. Luckily, his best work was yet to come with 1994’s Ed Wood, even if he appeared to be past his prime when this came out in 1987.

The story is pretty simple. A scientist is building a suped-up, badass motorcycle and everyone wants it for sinister reasons. The scientist is killed in a nightclub with an icepick to the back of his head. His girlfriend, the super sexy Heather Thomas, can’t trust anyone, so she takes the motorcycle and kills the scumbags.

This is a basic ’80s action movie with a cool sci-fi vehicle twist. And while this might not be the best film of its type from its era, it’s still enjoyable and the action sequences are actually better than I thought they’d be. Although, this also baffles me as the action sequences in Alienator were total shit.

Anyway, this is fun, dumb and cool. It’s the perfect sort of film for watching while vegging out on the couch on a rainy day. Plus, it has Heather Thomas in it during her prime. And she’s not the only beauty.

Rating: 5.5/10
Pairs well with: other really low budget ’80s sci-fi and action films.

Film Review: Alienator (1990)

Also known as: Aliennators 2 (Japanese English title)
Release Date: February 8th, 1990
Directed by: Fred Olen Ray
Written by: Paul Garson
Music by: Chuck Cirino
Cast: Jan-Michael Vincent, John Phillip Law, Ross Hagen, Dyana Ortelli, Teagan, P. J. Soles, Leo Gordon, Robert Quarry, Joseph Pilato

Amazing Movies, American Independent Productions, Majestic International Pictures, 93 Minutes

Review:

I never knew of this movie’s existence and my life was probably better not knowing. I only discovered it, as it was part of a box-set I bought on the cheap just to get a different movie. I figured that I’d check out everything in the box-set, though, as I’ll review anything for this site, even the worst films ever made.

Well, at least this isn’t the worst film I’ve ever seen but it’s definitely way down at the bottom of the barrel.

The story is about an alien that escapes a prison ship in space. He makes his way to Earth but is then pursued by a cyborg alien hunter. The space dude comes across a group of young people vacationing in the woods and we essentially get a sci-fi slasher movie where instead of knives and gardening tools, the killer has a laser cannon arm.

The special effects in this are beyond deplorable and the acting isn’t much better, even with known faces in this like John Phillip Law, Leo Gordon, Robert Quarry, Jan-Michael Vincent and P. J. Soles.

The cyborg outfit looks like a bad wrestling costume from a small independent promotion in the ’80s. A costume that would need to be mostly removed before the actual match because it’d be too dangerous to wear and too limiting for actual movement in the ring.

This is a really forgettable movie and my brain will probably expunge all knowledge of it after I publish this review. 

Rating: 1.5/10
Pairs well with: other deplorable straight-to-video sci-fi action movies circa 1990.