Film Review: Future Force (1989)

Also known as: C.O.P.S. (Sweden)
Release Date: November 9th, 1989
Directed by: David A. Prior
Written by: David A. Prior
Music by: Mark Mancina, Steve McClintock
Cast: David Carradine, Anna Rapagna, Robert Tessier, William Zipp, D.C. Douglas, Kimberly Casey

Action International Pictures (AIP), Winters Hollywood Entertainment Holdings Corporation, 84 Minutes

Review:

“David Harris? I’m John Tucker, Civilian Operated Police. You have committed a crime and are presumed guilty. You have a right to die. If you choose to relinquish that right, you will be placed under arrest and imprisoned. I haven’t got all night.” – Tucker

This movie is nowhere near as badass as its poster implies.

Also, for a David A. Prior action flick, this one is pretty goddamned dull.

I like Prior films like Deadly Prey and The Final Sanction. Even though they are over the top action films full of cheese, violence and men with more testicles than just a pair apiece, Future Force doesn’t quite bring the same level of badass, insane intensity.

Although there is a pretty sweet and bizarre scene where Carraidne’s cyborg glove starts flying around trying to knockout the baddie.

The film was also kind of a letdown when I saw it as a kid because the police force in this movie is called C.O.P.S., so my little mind in 1989 thought this might be a live action C.O.P.S., you know, that cool cartoon that came on after school in the afternoons. But no, it has no association and rightfully so, as this is one big ass glass of suck.

Hell, I can’t believe that Carradine followed up Bird On A Wire with this, as Bird should’ve brought his career back up into the mainstream. He was a solid f’n villain in that and then six months later, he’s doing this movie?! I can only assume that he got paid in video arcade tokens because that’s not real money and he was high on coke and thought it was actual gold. I hope the studio at least sent pizza to his trailer. Wait… who am I kidding? He probably had a wheelbarrow.

Anyway, this is boring, uneventful, Carradine looks bored and out of shape and it’s one of Prior’s worst films, which if you’ve seen his movies, is a really, really low bar.

There is a RiffTrax version of this you can watch though, if you feel compelled to do so.

Rating: 2.5/10
Pairs well with: its sequel Future Zone, as well as other action schlock with David Carradine from the mid-’70s through the ’90s.

Film Review: Deadly Prey (1987)

Release Date: November 7th, 1987
Directed by: David A. Prior
Written by: David A. Prior, Richard Connell
Music by: Tim Heintz, Tim James, Steven McClintock
Cast: Cameron Mitchell, Troy Donahue, Ted Prior

Action International Pictures, 88 Minutes

Review:

“Suck this!” – Lt. Thornton

If you’ve never seen a David A. Prior film, you’re probably a fairly normal person. If you have, you’ve probably been changed by the bizarre insanity of his work.

The only Prior film I’ve watched in recent memory was The Final Sanction, which I also reviewed. Other than that, I haven’t seen any of these in a long time. Deadly Prey, however, is probably Prior’s best known picture and even spawned a sequel that was made just a few years ago.

This movie stars Ted Prior, David’s brother and a ripped, blonde mulleted badass. Most of David’s movies, at least all the ones I’ve seen, feature his hard bodied brother.

Like other Prior movies, this is a violent spectacle that features bad acting, crazy situations but just enough heart and charm to make it something that’s better than just a forgettable pile of shit. The Prior boys put their souls into these movies and Deadly Prey is probably their magnum opus. Everything in it just feels right for the type of picture that this is.

The story in this one is about this private military group that trains its killer elite by kidnapping real people and staging manhunts somewhere outside of Los Angeles. This time, they kidnap the wrong guy, as he’s a super soldier that was once trained by the same commander that leads the psycho commandos. What we get is one man’s war against a corrupt commander and his super solider mercenaries.

I once used this movie as a test with some girl on a date. We never dated again but I had to know if she was down to get dirty or just some chick that would make me take her to Kate Hudson movies. Better to learn these things sooner rather than later.

Deadly Prey certainly isn’t a movie for most people or those who think they have taste. Taste is subjective anyway and usually what’s considered the the most tasteful films are really just dumpsters overflowing with overrated garbage.

The only thing this movie needed for an extra edge was some Robert Z’Dar.

Rating: 5.25/10
Pairs well with: Anything else from David A. Prior

Film Review: The Final Sanction (1990)

Also known as: The Final Battle (Brazil)
Release Date: November 30th, 1990
Directed by: David A. Prior
Written by: David A. Prior
Music by: Garm Beall, Tim James, Steve McClintock
Cast: Ted Prior, Robert Z’Dar, Renee Cline, William Smith

Action International Pictures, 90 Minutes

Review:

“C’mon, you big ugly fuck! I’m gonna kick your ass!” – Sgt. Tom Batanic

I love bad movies, that’s no secret at this point. David A. Prior used to crank out shitty action pictures faster than a rabbit dropping deuce pellets. His movies are horrible but they are the sort of horrible that I can get behind. I’m not sure how much or if any of it is intentional but he did have a style to his movies at the height of his run and it’s possible that he is actually an auteur. Assuming one can be an auteur of awful. Still, the man had his own style, that’s undeniable.

This film sees Ted Prior face-off against Robert Z’Dar. Both men were synonymous with bad action movies, so seeing the bulk of this film being their one-on-one war against each other was pretty entertaining.

Prior is an American while Z’Dar is a Soviet. The two are the best of the best and are pitted against each other in a “kill or be killed” survival game. The premise is hokey as all hell but these films don’t work because of realistic plots. The nonsensical nature of the narrative and the actions of the characters are why this turd is special.

I like Ted Prior because of his involvement in David Prior’s movies. Between this, Deadly Prey and the others, he has earned a place in my mental ’80s B-action hall of fame. Robert Z’Dar, on the other hand, is a superstar when it comes to these sort of films. The fact that he plays an insane Soviet hulk and throws little shovels like throwing knives is friggin’ incredible.

This isn’t a movie to sit down and watch with your girl. It is something to sit down and watch with your boys, considering you have boys that like living vicariously through cheesy ’80s badasses. Sure, this came out in 1990 but it has so much ’80s cheese, that it could fill the world’s largest quesadilla and then still have some left over for a giant plate of nachos.

The Final Sanction, despite my weird love for it, should be ran through the Cinespiria Shitometer. The results read, “Type 5 Stool: Soft blobs with clear-cut edges (passed easily).”

Rating: 4/10