Film Review: Soylent Green (1973)

Also known as: Make Room! Make Room! (working title)
Release Date: April 18th, 1973 (Los Angeles premiere)
Directed by: Richard Fleischer
Written by: Stanley R. Greenberg
Based on: Make Room! Make Room! by Harry Harrison
Music by: Fred Myrow
Cast: Charlton Heston, Leigh Taylor-Young, Edward G. Robinson, Chuck Connors, Joseph Cotton, Brock Peters, Dick Van Patten

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 97 Minutes

Review:

“I know, Sol, you’ve told me a hundred times before. People were better, the world was better…” – Detective Thorn

As a big fan of ’70s era science fiction, it’s probably a crime that I hadn’t seen Soylent Green until now. I’ve had the film spoiled for me my entire life, as the last line of the film was a meme decades before memes existed. And frankly, knowing the big twist ending didn’t do much to make me want to actually sit through the picture in an effort to learn what I already knew. In fact, I knew the meme before I even knew it was from a movie.

All that being said, had I known that Edward G. Robinson was in this and that it was his final film, I probably would’ve watched it sooner. I’ve always loved and admired the man’s work, especially his range, as he can go from the vile, intimidating gangster type to the sweet, kind patriarch type without being typecast as one in favor of the other. The guy is a legend and he was one of the top actors of his generation, even if he’s mostly forgotten today by modern audiences.

This stars Charlton Heston and while I also like the hell out of that guy, at this point, he felt like he was just playing a version of himself. That’s not entirely a bad thing but he’s a better actor than he appeared to be in this era, where he didn’t seem to add much flourish to his roles, he just played them straight and went full Heston.

Apart from the two great leads and the twist ending, there isn’t much here to set the film apart from other ’70s dystopian movies and I’d have to say that the best of the decade is lightyears ahead of this film, which is pretty slow moving and a bit drab.

It has some definite highpoints and it explores a few cool ideas but I’d rather watch something like Logan’s Run, or hell, even the visually similar Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, which despite being the fourth film in that series, was pretty damn cool.

Soylent Green isn’t as action heavy as I had hoped and the fascist dystopian nightmare only goes street level in one scene, really.

By the time you do get to the end, regardless of knowing the big reveal, it all seems kind of pointless. So what, society is being force fed something terrible by their government? What do you think big government will lead to?

In a nutshell, this is well acted and it is shot beautifully with some solid cinematography but it doesn’t bring much of anything worthwhile to the dystopian subgenre of sci-fi other than a big gross out reveal at the end. I’m not sure how the film compares to the novel but I hope that the book had more to offer for its readers.

Granted, I do like the metaphorical ending of Robinon’s character’s life in the movie but I wouldn’t call that an intentional artistic choice. The filmmakers probably didn’t know the guy would actually die before the film’s release. In fact, it’s been said on record that Robinson knew he was terminally ill but that the filmmakers did not. He died twelve days after the film wrapped.

Rating: 7/10
Pairs well with: The Ωmega Man, Logan’s Run, Westworld and other ’70s science fiction.

Film Review: Tourist Trap (1979)

Release Date: March 16th, 1979
Directed by: David Schmoeller
Written by: David Schmoeller, J. Larry Carroll
Music by: Pino Donaggio
Cast: Chuck Connors, Jocelyn Jones, Jon Van Ness, Robin Sherwood, Tanya Roberts

Compass International Pictures, 90 Minutes

Review:

“Oh sure, help yourself… but it doesn’t work. I got nobody to call.” – Mr. Slausen

For some reason, a lot of slasher aficionados think that Tourist Trap is the friggin’ bee’s knees. I think it’s the bee’s stinger… right through the heart of good taste.

Sure, the ladies are pretty nice to look at, especially Tanya Roberts who I always thought was MILFtastic on That 70s Show, not to mention when she was a Bond girl in A View To A Kill and a replacement Angel at the end of the original Charlie’s Angels run. Other than that though, this thing is a pretty lame attempt at a slasher flick.

The opening scene where the dude gets locked in a room and harassed by cackling mannequins for what seems like 45 minutes, is one of the dumbest sequences that I have ever seen in a slasher film and I’ve seen Don’t Go In The Woods.

There is this killer that kinda looks like Leatherface in that horrible fourth Texas Chainsaw movie. You know, the one where he was a wailing banshee in a dress and covered in lipstick. Granted, this predates that movie by almost a decade and a half but it isn’t a good look regardless.

The killer and his doofus older brother (played by Chuck Connors, who should’ve known better than to be in this thing) go around trapping teens and killing them. We’re looking at lowest common denominator cookie cutter bullshit here.

The plot is weak, the characters suck except Tanya Roberts, the killer is dumb and the cinematography looks like it was handled by my drunk Uncle Titus between trying to perfect his barbecue sauce and spearing frogs for hors d’oeuvres.

Tourist Trap is not a classic despite what some tasteless folks might tell you. It is pretty boring, pretty ugly and a big ass romp full of stupid.

When run through the Cinespiria Shitometer this comes out as a Type 5 stool, which is defined as “Soft blobs with clear-cut edges (passed easily).” I beg to differ with the “passed easily” part.

Rating: 3.5/10