Film Review: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Also known as: T3 (promotional abbreviation), York Square (fake working title)
Release Date: June 30th, 2003 (Westwood premiere)
Directed by: Jonathan Mostow
Written by: John Brancato, Michael Ferris, Tedi Sarafian
Music by: Marco Beltrami
Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes, Kristanna Loken, Earl Boen, M.C. Gainey, Chris Hardwick

Intermedia Films, IMF Internationale Medien und Film GmbH & Co. 3. Produktions KG, C-2 Pictures, Warner Bros., 109 Minutes

Review:

“[raises palm to cashier] Talk to the hand.” – Terminator

I saw this the night it came out, back in 2003. It was a massive disappointment and thus, I’ve never gone back and watched it again until now. But this film is really where the Terminator franchise completely went off the rails and honestly, it has never recovered, except for the too brief television show that ended on a cliffhanger.

Out of all the sequels, I think that this one is the worst. Genisys actually had a worse story but Schwarzenegger was really enjoyable in that one and kind of saved it from being complete and utter shit. In this one, however, his humor and attempts at one-liners are so fucking cringe that it drags a somewhat better story way down into the mud.

For positives, I think there’s really just one: Nick Stahl. I’m not sure what the critical and fan consensus is on his performance as John Connor (I’d assume it’s not good) but I actually thought he did fairly well for having a terrible script to work with and being a last minute replacement for Edward Furlong, who couldn’t return due to his drug abuse issues at the time.

Beyond that, Claire Danes is terrible in this and Kristanna Loken looked great but was so boring she pulls you out of the film.

One could say, “Well, Robert Patrick wasn’t exciting in T2.” But those people would be wrong. Just because an actor has to play an emotional robot of a character, doesn’t mean that they have to be a generic blank slate, tilting their head like a dog that heard a high pitch sound. Patrick in T2 and Schwarzenegger in T1 both knew how to move and how to act in order to come across as a soulless predator. It was in their body language, their facial expressions and the way they hunted their targets. To be fair, I don’t necessarily blame Loken, I blame the director for not seeing this and fine tuning her performance to live up to the standard set before her.

While I like the idea that Armageddon is inevitable, as this film strongly implies throughout the entirety of its story, I want to know why. It never tells us why. It just has Schwarzenegger randomly say, “You just delayed Armageddon; Armageddon is inevitable.” Well, why does he say that or think that? What does he know that makes this a fact? There’s a story there that could’ve enriched the bigger picture here but it’s just a repeated throwaway line that we just have to accept and go, “M’kay, sure… that makes sense.”

The most important thing working against this film isn’t any of the stuff I’ve already mentioned, it’s the fact that this is just really fucking boring. It doesn’t matter that the Terminator uses one-liners that were already out of date by 2003 or that the Loken Terminator doesn’t make a lot of sense and she’s overpowered for the sake of being overpowered. This is just a dreadfully boring piece of shit.

It’s not competent, it feels incredibly generic and there’s nothing in the film that is memorable. There’s no great action sequence that you will care to remember like many of the great sequences from the first two films. I guess the biggest one I remember is the car chase with the crane truck and remote control police cars but I was more annoyed by it than impressed.

The whole film felt as soulless as Loken’s Terminator.

But at least it’s less than two hours.

Side note: I thought the closing moments in the underground bunker were actually kind of good and somewhat chilling.

Rating: 5/10
Pairs well with: the other shitty Terminator movies that followed.

Vids I Dig 240: Filmento: ‘Terminator: Dark Fate’: How to Terminate a Legacy

From Filmento’s YouTube description: The year 2019 in movies offered a bunch of flops and letdowns — Men In Black International, Curse of La Llorona, Hellboy, Gemini Man (+ Rise of Skywalker to some) and Mortal engines to name a few — but none of them as much so as Terminator: Dark Fate. This is a film that was supposed to revitalize a fallen franchise — packing talent like James Cameron, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Tim Miller. And yet, the only thing it managed to do was destroy the very thing that made the franchise what it is. The filmmakers promised something new, whereas in reality all they delivered was fake originality at the cost of Terminator 2, the greatest action movie ever made. In today’s episode of award winning family friendly trending page worthy Anatomy of a Failure, let’s look at Dark Fate and how exactly it lies to the audience in a way that made it the worst movie of 2019.

Vids I Dig 198: Midnight’s Edge: The Ultimate ‘Conan The Destroyer’ Retrospective

From the Midnight’s Edge YouTube description: The 1982 feature film “Conan the Barbarian” is widely considered a classic. It’s 1984 sequel however, “Conan the Destroyer”, isn’t held in anywhere near the same regard; despite the two being made within two years of each other, by the same production company – so what changed?

In this retrospective, @AndreEinherjar will uncover just that, by first exploring the changing priorities behind the scenes, and how these manifested themselves on screen as the plot evolved from its very different original conception, to what ultimately ended up in theaters, and what impact it had on the future franchise.

Vids I Dig 154: Midnight’s Edge: The Ultimate ‘Conan The Barbarian’ Retrospective

From the Midnight’s Edge YouTube description: In January of 2019, Conan the Barbarian returned to Marvel Comics. This is a homecoming of some significance, because while Conan didn’t originate with and even predates Marvel Comics, it was arguably that initial Conan comic book run from Marvel that more than anything else, paved the way for the 1982 feature film Conan the Barbarian by John Milius starring Arnold Schwarzenegger – and thereby the characters mainstream success.

In this retrospective, Andre Einherjar will explore Conan’s literary origins in the writings of Robert E. Howard, and how Conan came to Marvel in the first place. Then, the production and the philosophy of the Conan feature film will be explored, and the definitive answer to The Riddle of Steel will be provided. Unlike most other Conan retrospectives out there, this one will also detail the differences between the Schwarzenegger Conan and the literary Conan, and why the movie, for all its standalone strengths and virtues, remains controversial with fans of the literary and comic book versions of Conan.

In the upcoming part two of this retrospective, the sequels, the attempted sequels and other spin offs will also be explored.