Also known as: Superman: Man of Steel (working title), Autumn Frost (fake working title) Release Date: June 10th, 2013 (New York City premiere) Directed by: Zack Snyder Written by: David S. Goyer Based on:Superman by Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster Music by: Hans Zimmer Cast: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Antje Traue, Ayelet Zurer, Christopher Meloni, Russell Crowe, Carla Gugino (voice)
Syncopy, Legendary Entertainment, Warner Bros., 143 Minutes
“You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun, Kal. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.” – Jor-El
I was pretty disappointed with this film when it came out and honestly, I’m still pretty disappointed in it, watching it seven years later.
My biggest takeaway from the movie is how good Henry Cavill is as Superman. It just kind of sucks that this is the script and the film that he was given to play that role.
Sadly, the movies with him in them didn’t get any better and this whole DCEU is like a wet fart when compared to Marvel’s MCU, which this was designed to compete with.
Zack Snyder seems like a nice enough guy but his films just never really seem to speak to me. He has his fans, he has his critics and while I want to like the guy’s movies, I can’t give them a free pass because he’s a great guy that does come into his projects with actual passion for the material.
The big issue with this film more than anything is the writing. It’s just a drab yet exhausting story where it feels like a lot happens but nothing happens. It also features so much over-the-top mass destruction that it breaks the movie from top-to-bottom.
General Zod, a human-sized alien dictator comes to Earth and causes more destruction to a major city than all of the Godzilla movies combined yet Superman won’t kill him until Zod’s just about to laser eye a few people to death?
One, this guy already killed hundreds of thousands, if not millions.
Two, why the fuck didn’t these people run while Superman had Zod mostly subdued in a read choke?
Three, couldn’t Superman have just poked Zod’s eyes out Three Stooges style?
When you think about it, this is a really dumb movie.
Hell, you don’t need to think about it. I watched this the first time in the theater baffled by half of it and annoyed by the other half. And man, I really wanted to like it because I loved Cavill, as well as Russell Crowe and Michael Shannon. I also liked seeing Laurence Fishburne play Perry White. Although, Amy Adams was just another actress that didn’t feel like Lois Lane.
Ultimately, this wasn’t the worst DCEU movie but like most of them, it was still a wet fart.
Rating: 5/10 Pairs well with: the other Zack Snyder DCEU films.
Release Date: October 26th, 2017 (Beijing premiere) Directed by: Zack Snyder Written by: Chris Terrio, Joss Whedon, Zack Snyder Based on: Characters from DC Comics Music by: Danny Elfman Cast: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Gal Gadot, Amy Adams, Diane Lane, Jeremy Irons, Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher, Connie Nielsen, J.K. Simmons, Jesse Eisenberg (cameo), Joe Manganiello (cameo)
Access Entertainment, DC Entertainment, RatPac-Dune Entertainment, Atlas Entertainment, Cruel and Unusual Films, Warner Bros., 120 Minutes
“I miss the days whens one’s biggest concern is exploding wind-up penguins.” – Alfred Pennyworth
Pardon my French but this was fucking unwatchable.
How does a film with a $300 million dollar budget in 2017 look like absolute dog shit? I have a rule, if you have a massive budget, you need to look as good or better than the original Lord of the Rings trilogy because those movies are getting close to twenty years old and they still look pretty perfect. Is technology regressing? Are the digital artists just shit now? What the hell happened with this picture?
The best way to describe this film is “CGI shit storm”. It was like someone took a bunch of unfinished, random CGI pieces, threw them in a blender and pureed that shit for two hours.
Hell, this makes Suicide Squad look like a f’n masterpiece by comparison.
The absolute worst thing about this film isn’t even the Sharknado looking special effects, it is Ezra Miller’s Flash. He’s an annoying, unfunny douchebag that is supposed to be comedic relief but is about as effective as Jay Leno trying to use Dane Cook’s material. He’s your token eccentric weirdo millennial hipster that did the most un-Flash-like thing ever by showing up late to the kooky character pop culture party. We’ve seen the type, it sucked before and it sucks now.
The film’s script and story is terrible. This is a hard film to follow, not because it is complicated but because it is a nonsensical mess that just feels like a two hour trailer and not an actual movie with some sort of a cohesive plot. In fact, it is hard to straighten out my thoughts and write much of a cohesive review because my brain is still spinning from the CGI puree. Anyway, I wrote better comic book stories when I was seven years-old and drunk.
Not a single character in this film is interesting in any way. Flash, again, sucks. Cyborg also sucks. Wonder Woman looked bored. Aquaman was token Momoa backed by CGI that defied the laws of physics in every way. Batman was boring. Superman was even more boring and his lovey dovey bullshit with Lois Lane trying to bring him back to normalcy was so cringe worthy it rivals the romance scenes between Padme and Anakin from Attack of the Clones. Yes, it was that fucking bad.
But hey, we get a cameo from Jesse Eisenluthor and Deathstroke. “Boo” for Luthor. “Hells Yeah!” for Deathstroke.
As far as the villain goes, didn’t Wonder Woman kill that same guy in her movie? Is every DC villain going to be some throwaway character no one cares about that resembles some ancient mythological god? That’s boring. And people think Marvel has a villain problem in their movies. I mean they do but DC makes Marvel’s faults look like strengths with how bad most of these movies have been.
I will never watch this film again and I have serious doubts that I’ll care for any other DC Comics movie for a very long time.
The only real positive about this film is that it wasn’t thirteen hours like Batman v. Superman. But really, it was still two hours too long.
Rating: 1.75/10 Pairs well with: Well, I guess the other really shitty DC Comics films, as of late.
Release Date: March 19th, 2016 (Auditorio Nacional premiere) Directed by: Zack Snyder Written by: Chris Terrio, David S. Goyer Based on: Characters from DC Comics Music by: Hans Zimmer, Junkie XL Cast: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Jeremy Irons, Holly Hunter, Gal Gadot, Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher, Scoot McNairy, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Lauren Cohan, Patrick Wilson, Kevin Costner, Carla Gugino
DC Entertainment, RatPac-Dune Entertainment, Atlas Entertainment, Cruel and Unusual Films, Warner Bros., 151 Minutes
*Written in 2016.
I finally got around to seeing Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. I wasn’t in a rush to see it and I was debating if I was going to check it out in the theater at all. The trailers did nothing for me and Zack Snyder has a pretty lackluster track record. However, after seeing it today, in a nice quiet theater, I’m glad I saw it on the big screen.
It wasn’t as bad of an experience as I had anticipated. But then again, it is more of the same if you have already witnessed Zack Snyder’s mostly awful Man of Steel. Sure, it has new stuff added in and it is that new stuff that gives this mostly dull film some life but once the big battle with Doomsday starts, it becomes Snyder style destruction porn to the tune of mediocre special effects and overly stylized dirty shots. I don’t think Snyder will be satisfied until he destroys the universe ten times over.
Let me point out the positives before I turn into a total dick, however.
Ben Affleck IS Batman. Okay, maybe Michael Keaton still has the edge for me but Affleck represents the Caped Crusader in a way that the previous Batman, Christian Bale, just couldn’t. The growly voice is gone and replaced with a much more plausible voice changer. His facial expressions and demeanor are just on point and I feel like I am watching a angrier, more mature version of the Dark Knight from the perfect Batman: The Animated Series. There are weird and uncharacteristic things that Batman does, but I will get into that later and it still doesn’t diminish what Ben Affleck did with this character.
Gal Gadot is pretty good as Diana Prince a.k.a. Wonder Woman. She isn’t in the film enough to guarantee that she is made for the role but from what I saw, I think she’s a good choice. Although she was overly sexualized with armor that gave her bigger boobs and a few perfectly timed crotch and ass shots of glory. But Zack Snyder is kind of a “lowest common denominator” director, so tits and ass for the masses!
Henry Cavill is a fine Superman, even though he has to portray the role in these incredibly flawed films. His Clark Kent is passable but you never see very much of Clark and therefore aren’t able to get a sense of the character’s two sides. In fact, his two personas are mostly pointless in this film, other than having Clark meet Bruce at a Lex Luthor shindig and to have someone for Perry White to wonder where they ran off to again.
Amy Adams as Lois Lane is okay. I feel like we got the most we were going to get out of her in Man of Steel and she doesn’t feel like a true Lois to me. I think the director just went for the biggest name he could get at the time and she does come with critical acclaim.
Jeremy Irons as Alfred Pennyworth is kind of intriguing. I liked the chemistry between Alfred and Bruce and it will be interesting to see him have more time to play the character when a solo Batman film comes out.
The film’s score by Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL was pretty damned good. Wonder Woman’s theme was especially bad ass.
Another big positive for me, is that the film starts twenty years into Batman’s legacy. He is already well established and his rogue’s gallery is out there causing havoc in Gotham City. It’s refreshing to not have to sit through another two and a half hour origin story for the umpteenth time.
Now on to the bad.
Lex Luthor is fucking shit. This isn’t a knock against Jesse Eisenberg for what he did, it is a knock against the filmmakers for casting him in the first place. And shaving him bald in the end doesn’t make up for the unpainted Nolan Joker-esque look of the character. He is whimsical, crazy and too bizarre to ever become the future President of the United States. His plot was idiotic, his execution was terrible and there was nothing even interesting about him. In fact, he reminded me of Lex Luthor’s annoying nephew Lenny from the horrendous Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. You know, the character played by Ducky from Pretty In Pink as an amped up more strange version of Ducky. I’m hoping, that in a future film, it is revealed that he was just Lenny Luthor playing with his uncle’s empire until his uncle gets back from where ever he is – maybe hanging out with Darkseid.
Speaking of Darkseid, it is obvious he is coming due to Batman having visions about it. But when the hell did Batman become a psychic with special visions? Is this Batman a metahuman with special powers? It’s weird and it doesn’t fit the character unless he’s been huffing gases from Scarecrow’s evil warehouse or spending too much time around Axis Chemicals.
Also, Batman murders the fuck out of people. Zack Snyder defended this in an interview by pointing out that Batman has killed before. Well, yes, he has. However, it’s never been his intention and he’s never been so reckless and careless about it. It is kind of Batman’s code not to kill. Zack Snyder, between this, Batman’s mystic eye, Batman branding criminals with his logo – giving them a death sentence – and the fact that he has to shoot a gun every time there is one on the set just proves that Snyder doesn’t give a fuck about source material and has probably never read a Batman comic other than the Frank Miller stuff he claims he based this off of. And even then, it still doesn’t fit the Frank Miller Batman mold.
The Batman versus Superman showdown is pretty awesome when it happens but it just doesn’t get to where you hope it would. Ultimately, Batman decides not to kill Superman at the last second, because his mom is also named Martha. “You’re mom’s name is Martha?” “Yep!” “Did we just become best friends?!” “Yep!”
Doomsday is a pile of shit whose sole purpose is to destroy the entire world, which he nearly accomplishes until Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman beat him. Superman gets mortally wounded and dies. But it’s obviously an homage to his comic book encounter with Doomsday, who killed him. Superman will be back, just like in the comics and his death in the film is neither a shocking moment or anything that you feel will be permanent. It plays more like “Oh, they did that? Whatever. See you next movie, Supes.”
And why was everything so dark and depressing throughout this entire film? Where is the yin to the yang? This was just yang and yang. Superman and Batman are great in the comics together because there is a clear difference between them. There was no real difference in this film. Both are vigilantes, both take the law into their own hands and both are tortured depressing characters hellbent on destroying each other. Superman is the all-American good guy. Batman is the antihero. In this film, they’re both just angry, damaged forces of nature destined to collide and there is no real contrast between them.
I will say that the film is more refreshing than the cookie cutter Marvel-Disney shit lately. I wouldn’t call it a better film than the Marvel stuff but it is different and not trying to emulate it too much.
I don’t have much excitement for what’s next but I hope I am pleasantly surprised. There was more good than bad in this film. I just hope that Zack Snyder is never allowed to direct again but he’s attached to direct the follow-up to this picture. Ultimately, I’m more interested in the solo hero films than the big Justice League movies coming first.
Release Date: November 11th 2016 (USA) Directed by: Denis Villeneuve Written by: Eric Heisserer Based on:Story of Your Life by Ted Chiang Music by: Jóhann Jóhannsson Cast: Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Forest Whitaker, Michael Stuhlbarg, Tzi Ma
FilmNation Entertainment, Lava Bear Films, 21 Laps Entertainment, Paramount Pictures, Sony Pictures Releasing International, 116 Minutes
Over the last few years, there have been a lot of big science fiction films popping up around November. I’m really liking this trend, even if most of them don’t seem to be as smart as they are marketed. The thing is, as scientifically literate as Interstellar claimed to be, it was ultimately a disappointment to those of us who have ever picked up a book by Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking or Neil deGrasse Tyson. When you expect to see a spaghettified version of Matthew McConaughey entering the black hole but instead, you get him playing around in his daughter’s closet sending time traveling Morse code to a watch in the past, it’s a pretty eye-rolling experience.
Arrival doesn’t try to dupe the audience with the illusion of a real scientific approach. It actually manages, for the most part, to come of as realistic as a film can considering the subject matter. Sure, like Interstellar, it pulls at the heartstrings, maybe a bit too much, and it brings in a time traveling element of sorts – tying every big event in the film to the main character’s personal life – but Arrival does a much better job of it.
The film stars Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner and Forest Whitaker: three heavy hitters with loads of talent that carry this film on their backs without any problems. Director Denis Villeneuve maybe had it too easy, as the cast felt completely natural with one another and acted out their roles flawlessly.
However, the picture may have benefited more, had Whitaker had a bit more screen time. His character was the thinnest and I wish he had been fleshed out to some degree, as there really wasn’t much that the audience knew about him. I guess the same could be said for Renner, to a lesser degree. Ultimately, this is Amy Adams’ film and she takes center stage. But the film is also her story and really no one else’s.
The highlight of this film is the use of linguistics. Amy Adams’ character, Dr. Louise Banks, is an expert in language and has deciphered things for the government before. This time, she is needed to figure out why alien visitors have arrived on Earth. Instead of following standard sci-fi alien invasion tropes, Arrival doesn’t serve up invaders who already speak our language or who have “studied our planet’s radio waves for years” and figured out how to send us messages. Arrival gives us an alien civilization that we have to work with in an effort to communicate with one another. That is the big story of the movie. Well, as much as I can say without spoiling too much.
The film builds up a lot of tension and it does a great job of moving forward at a good pace while keeping everything interesting and on point. However, by the time you get to the end, which features a sort of plot twist and big reveal, things feel pretty underwhelming. The build up was great but the resolution was pretty bland. There really were no big surprises in the film, even though the picture felt like it thought there were. But maybe that is because the time traveling element that I mentioned before, has already been used quite a bit in these types of serious sci-fi movies.
Ultimately, this film is still pretty fantastic, regardless of the underwhelming resolution.
The cinematography is pretty great. The alien vessel reminds me a lot of the visual style of Michael Mann’s 1983 film The Keep. The rolling fog over the Montana mountains as Louise arrives to base camp the first time is majestic. The cold dark tone of the human side of the glass versus the bright foggy alien side creates a pretty stark contrast between the two species and foreshadows what is to come.
In regards to the aliens, Arrival benefits in that it reveals them almost immediately. There is no mysterious build up over the course of two hours for a crappy reveal ala Super 8 and some other movies. The aliens are just kind of present in the film. Their look isn’t distracting and it is pretty simple and neutral. They aren’t super cool and they aren’t super lame, they just exist and it works.
I was pleasantly surprised by Arrival and was glad that when I first heard about it, that it wasn’t a reboot of that 1996 Charlie Sheen film of the same name. All of these serious sci-fi pictures, as of late, have left me pretty disappointed. Arrival did not. I would say it is the best of the lot.