Film Review: Please Murder Me! (1956)

Release Date: March, 1956
Directed by: Peter Godfrey
Written by: Donald Hyde, Al C. Ward, David T. Chantler, Ewald Andre Dupont
Music by: Albert Glasser
Cast: Angela Lansbury, Raymond Burr, Dick Foran

Distributor Corporation of America, 78 Minutes

Review:

The thought of Angela Lansbury and Raymond Burr in the same film is pretty cool. The fact that this happened, was even cooler.

However, this wasn’t a Perry Mason and Jessica Fletcher team up movie for television in the 1980s, it was a film noir from the 1950s that uncharacteristically used Lansbury as a murderess.

The first half of this movie feels like a Perry Mason episode, as it is a courtroom drama. However, this came out a year before Burr reached super stardom with that show. Regardless, the first half of the picture really slows this thing down to a crawl and is a lot less interesting than the second half, where the real noir elements start. Hopefully, you aren’t trapped in a slumber, by this point.

The story sees Burr’s lawyer character fall for a murder suspect, his client played by Lansbury. She is accused of murdering her husband, which she did, but Burr believes she is innocent and gets her off. Later discovering that she did indeed kill her husband, Burr feels tremendous guilt. He then decides to trick her into murdering him, so that he can record her in the act and absolve his guilt.

The story is interesting but it takes too long to get going and when it starts to get good, you’re already exhausted from the courtroom stuff. Full disclosure, courtroom dramas typically bore the piss out of me so this might not effect others the same way.

Burr and Lansbury were both good in this but the film itself isn’t worthy of their talents. It is dry and uneventful, at least until the rushed second half, but even then, the shocking finale feels hollow.

This is still worth checking out if you like both of the leads and are a fan of b-movie noir.

Rating: 5.25/10

Film Review: Omoo-Omoo, the Shark God (1949)

Also known as: The Shark God (UK)
Release Date: June 10th, 1949
Directed by: Leon Leonard
Written by: George D. Green, Leon Leonard
Based on: Omoo by Herman Melville
Music by: Albert Glasser
Cast: Ron Randell, Devera Burton

Screen Guild Productions, 58 Minutes

Review:

“Mr. Garland you’re not paying attention to me.” – Julie Guy, “Attention? I love you.” – Jeff Garland

Omoo-Omoo, the Shark God is something I came across while searching for the perfect Tiki themed movie. This is not it.

The film is less than an hour but it feels longer than that. It isn’t very good and a large bulk of the film uses stock footage. This was typical at the beginning of the independent film era but it was not a formula that served its movies well.

In Omoo-Omoo, we see what happens when a bunch of greedy white people take advantage of another culture. In this case, white people steal some jewels from the eyes of an idol on Tahiti. The group is then cursed at sea and on land. They are even attacked by a stock footage Bengal tiger. However, all their woes go away when the idol gets its eyes back.

Omoo-Omoo lacks in just about every department. The acting is bad, the cinematography is really bad, the editing is even worse, the implementation of stock footage stuck out like a sore thumb and the score was uninspiring for something that should have represented the lush tropical islands and jungles of the South Pacific.

This is a film that could have been really cool in more capable hands.

And yes, it is bad enough to go through the Cinespiria Shitometer. Let’s see… a-ha! Omoo-Omoo‘s results have come through and they say that it is a “Type 2 Stool: Sausage-shaped but lumpy.”

Rating: 2/10