Film Review: Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)

Also known as: Zombieland 2 (working title, unofficial title)
Release Date: October 9th, 2019 (Taiwan)
Directed by: Ruben Fleischer
Written by: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Dave Callaham
Music by: David Sardy
Cast: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Rosario Dawson, Zoey Deutch, Avan Jogia, Luke Wilson, Thomas Middleditch, Bill Murray (cameo), Al Roaker (cameo)

2.0 Entertainment, Columbia Pictures, Pariah, 99 Minutes

Review:

“[first lines] Welcome to Zombieland. Back for seconds? After all this time? Well, what can I say, but thank you. You have a lot of choices when it comes to zombie entertainment, and we appreciate you picking us.” – Columbus

Being that my fairly recent rewatch of the original film showed me that it didn’t age well, I wasn’t super gung ho to see its sequel, ten years later.

However, after being somewhat annoyed by the opening narration, which itself felt dated, I was at least pleasantly surprised to discover that I mostly liked this movie, even though it didn’t need to exist and didn’t do much to justify it being made.

I’ll admit, I liked all these characters from the first movie and it was cool checking in on them a decade later. You’re quickly filled in on what has happened in the time that’s passed but there isn’t really anything unexpected other than Little Rock being college aged and having the feeling that she needs to leave the nest and have her own experiences. This of course leads to the adventure in this film, as the other three set out to find her, after she takes off.

There are other new characters introduced and they’re all pretty decent, except for the douche from Berkeley but then again, you’re supposed to hate him.

At its core, this is really just more of the same with some weird subplot about a hippie commune full of pacifists that have somehow survived more than a decade into a zombie apocalypse, living in an unsafe high-rise with loud music, firework shows and no weapons. But hey, this is comedy, so whatever, right?

I liked the addition of Rosario Dawson and Zoey Deutch to the cast. I don’t like that they left Zoey behind with the dumb hippies though, as she’s probably just going to die.

Anyway, I’d probably say that this is fairly consistent with the first movie and rate it the same. It didn’t blow my socks off but it was a decent escape from the very real COVID-19 drama for 99 minutes.

Rating: 6.75/10
Pairs well with: the first Zombieland film and possibly the series, but I haven’t watched it yet.

Film Review: Zombieland (2009)

Release Date: September 25th, 2009 (Austin Fantastic Fest)
Directed by: Ruben Fleischer
Written by: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick
Music by: David Sardy
Cast: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Bill Murray, Amber Heard

Relativity Media, Pariah, Columbia Pictures, 88 Minutes

Review:

“Are you fucking with me?” – Tallahassee, “Uh, no. You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we’re going down that hill. It is very important.” – Columbus, “I don’t believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?” – Tallahassee

I know that a lot of people absolutely love this film. I like it too but I wouldn’t say that I love it. In fact, I haven’t seen it since it was in theaters. I just never really felt like watching it again until now.

To start, the cast is great and I like the chemistry between all of them. But let’s be honest, Woody Harrelson is the scene stealer and the real star of the picture, even though this boasts the talents of three young stars who would all have great careers beyond this movie: Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin. But even when the legendary Bill Murray shows up for a cameo, Harrelson steals that scene as well.

But it is the characters that make this movie work so well. They all just gel and you genuinely care about them, even though you just get to scratch the surface with this quartet at only an 88 minute running time.

I guess the only really big negative about this film is the finale. The girls decide to go to an amusement park for fun, albeit when it’s dark out in a world that is plagued by zombies and no security guards. Somehow, the park has power, the girls turn all the lights and rides on and are suddenly shocked when they are immediately overwhelmed by zombies.

Before this idiotic outing, the film spent an hour showing that these girls were smart and cunning con artists. So their complete stupidity to set up the big final battle is just baffling as all hell. And while I can suspend disbelief, I can’t ignore blatant and colossal idiocy.

And how the hell did they control the rides while riding them? Carnival rides aren’t automated, they have operators that hit buttons on a control panel to start and stop the ride. In the real world, one would have to ride while the other one had to hit the buttons on the control panel. I mean, despite the cool fact that we got to see zombie mayhem in a theme park, the set up and reasoning behind the sequence is asinine and ludicrous.

But the movie is supposed to be fun and I get that but I can never accept the rampant stupidity of the characters in the last twenty minutes.

All that being said, there isn’t a whole lot here that’s unique. There are zombies and you have to survive. There really isn’t anything about this movie to make it special and there isn’t an original twist that allows it to be its own thing in a genre that ran its course a long, long time ago. I mean, you could say that comedy is the twist but this is far from being the first zombie comedy.

I guess the only thing that works is that I like the characters and the actors. Well, I’m not a big Eisenberg fan but he was fine in this role, as it’s sort of the type of character I imagine him being. Woody Harrelson is, by far, the real highlight and the Bill Murray cameo is a lot of fun.

Rating: 6.75/10
Pairs well with: Shaun of the DeadCoootiesScouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

TV Review: Scream Queens (2015-2016)

Original Run: September 22nd, 2015 – December 20th, 2016
Created by: Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan
Directed by: various
Written by: various
Music by: Mac Quayle, Heather Heywood, Alexis Martin Woodall
Cast: Emma Roberts, Ariana Grande, Skyler Samuels, Lea Michele, Glen Powell, Diego Boneta, Abigail Breslin, Keke Palmer, Oliver Hudson, Nasim Pedrad, Lucien Laviscount, Billie Lourd, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kirstie Alley, Taylor Lautner, James Earl, John Stamos

Ryan Murphy Productions, Brad Falchuk Teley-Vision, 20th Century Fox, 23 Episodes, 42-44 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

*written in 2015.

Scream Queens is a horror comedy series that just debuted on Fox. Well, if you can even call it “horror” or “comedy”. Usually, I wait till at least a whole season of a show has aired before I review it. I’m not waiting that long in regards to Scream Queens because I have no intention of ever eating this shit sandwich again.

This series was made by some of the people who made American Horror Story and some of the people who made Glee. It is a weird mixture that doesn’t seem to work on really any level.

The comedy isn’t funny. I get that it is parody and satire and a commentary on the culture of self-obsessed privileged college kids but this has been done several times over and much better. Even in the realm of horror comedy, this show relies solely on overused cliches and by rehashing gags that we’ve already seen.

In regards to horror, this show was pimped out as being edgy and taking risks that network shows don’t usually have the liberty to take. Well, the gore is tame and goofy, the special effects aren’t effective and it just doesn’t conjure up even a minute feeling of dread or terror. Additionally, the slasher character on the show isn’t frightening or intimidating in the slightest.

It is also hard to give a shit about the horror any of these characters are facing. Everyone on this show, except for one or two people, are completely unlikable. You can’t relate to any of them and you grow to hate them and actually wish they’d all die. Except you can’t root for the slasher because the slasher is moronic and corny. And truthfully, I guarantee a lot of young girls will idolize these shitty horrible people and turn into equally atrocious people because they are too daft to understand the joke here.

Jamie Lee Curtis is in this and that kind of sucks. She plays a somewhat interesting character. I just don’t care enough to continue watching her traverse through this mess. Niecy Nash is also in the show and she is the best thing about it, by far. Sadly, her role is pretty small. Emma Roberts is the star. She was in American Horror Story and is the daughter of Eric Roberts and niece of Julia Roberts. She plays the head asshole of the asshole girls and overreacts the whole time. I don’t necessarily blame her, I think it is bad direction but in any event, it is an over the top performance that is too exhausting for such a flat show.

Scream Queens is an over-exaggerated version of everything I hated about Coven, the third season of American Horror Story. Except, at least Coven had characters I liked and cared about, which distracted from the overly cheesy and ridiculous teen drama that made that season feel like Gossip Girl meets Charmed.

When I first heard that Fox was coming out with a show called Scream Queens, I thought it was going to be a period drama about girls in the days of old school horror who were actual Hollywood scream queens. I would’ve been excited for that. Instead, we’ve got a shitty unintentional homage to that shitty 2001 horror film Valentine. At least I could look at Denise Richards in that movie.

But after reading other reviews out there, it looks like I am the minority here. I’m fine with that. Because catering to the majority is why we have these awful PG-13 horror films and nothing truly memorable in that genre for decades.

Rating: 3/10