Film Review: Cuties (2020)

Also known as: Mignonnes (original French title)
Release Date: January 23rd, 2020 (Sundance)
Directed by: Maïmouna Doucouré
Written by: Maïmouna Doucouré
Music by: Niko Noki
Cast: Fathia Youssouf, Médina El Aidi-Azouni, Esther Gohourou, Ilanah Cami-Goursolas, Maïmouna Gueye

Bien Ou Bien Productions, France 3 Cinéma, BAC Films, Canal+, 96 Minutes

Review:

I normally wouldn’t have watched this or even cared about it. But since it’s the most controversial film of the fucking year, I couldn’t not watch it, review it and give my two cents.

That being said, I’ll probably piss off both sides of the debate because I’m not going to bash it as “pedo candy”, I’ll explain why, and I’m not going to pass it off like some sort of amazing motion picture that the world has been begging for and has desperately needed.

To start, this is controversial because the film is about a group of young girls who are trying to be a dance team; these girls are all about eleven years-old. They’re influenced by the provocative and highly sexual dance moves that they see all over the Internet from rap videos and other sources.

This, of course, makes people uncomfortable and it’s supposed to. However, these moments don’t make up the bulk of the movie and the film itself is really focused on one girl primarily.

This girl, Amy, comes from an immigrant family who have moved to France from Senegal. Her family is very religious and her actions in the film are a rebellion against the traditions of that strict religion and an exploration of the new things she’s found, culturally, in her new home. All the while, she’s also broken up by how changes in her family dynamic are emotionally effecting her mother and the structure of the family unit she’s used to.

Watching this as an American, I don’t know much about the culture of Senegal and how immigrants from that country would be effected by the socially liberal French that they would find themselves surrounded by. Honestly, I was kind of intrigued by this and would’ve liked to have seen it explored in a broader sense and not specifically from the viewpoint of one character. But maybe for those in France, where this film was made, it’s not as interesting, as other French films may have touched on it already.

But I feel like this film is pretty disjointed and it’s not all that coherent from a narrative standpoint. It plays more like a series of sequences with some connectivity but a lot of the film seems really random. Its like the director/writer is recalling actual moments from her own experience growing up and doesn’t realize that the audience might need some deeper context.

For instance, there’s a scene where Amy takes a picture of her private parts and uploads it to the Internet. It’s random as hell, really uncomfortable and isn’t really followed up on in any meaningful way, other than having some kid at school slap her ass. Did it need to be in the film? Was it just there for shock value?

Additionally, this is a coming-of-age story and it’s not really clear what the main character has learned or how she’s grown. Sure, she has an emotional breakdown and what appears to be a scary moment of clarity when she’s achieved her goal but the movie sort of ends and you’re sort of just left going, “Um… okay?”

What’s even worse is that this film is really well acted from top-to-bottom but the performances feel wasted.

This had the makings of something that could’ve been interesting but it’s honestly a really boring and drab movie. Even though there’s a plot progression, it feels like not much happens apart from the uncomfortable finale and a few weird moments dropped in.

The thing that has people in an uproar are the scenes that have leaked out that feature these young girls dancing in an over-sexualized way. The thing is, if you know kids or remember when you were that age, kids didn’t know a damn thing about sex but they all talked about it. I remember girls in my middle school days emulating the dances they saw in 2 Live Crew videos. This is nothing knew but maybe I also grew up in a more urban area and I was exposed to things that middle America wasn’t. I can only speak from my own experiences and memories but I’m pretty sure kids this age, everywhere, weren’t too dissimilar.

What is bizarre and sort of counterproductive to the director’s stated intent, is how the dancing scenes are filmed. The movie is made to critique and expose the over-sexualization of kids, especially young girls, but in trying to speak out against that, the film does exactly that. So I have to conclude that the director is either lying to cover her ass or a moron.

You could’ve made your point without closeup shots of eleven year-olds crotches and booties. Once or twice, I might roll my eyes but it did feel gratuitous. And frankly, I think it would’ve been a lot more effective having them dance but having the camera looking out to the crowd, getting their reactions to seeing young girls dance in such a way. But I’m not the artist, here.

I can’t say that I’m offended by it, I just sort of got through these moments like, “Really, you had to go there?” And maybe this was deliberate and the director knew that it’d get attention and that the media and film industry being the way they are, would show support. I’m leaning more towards her being an idiot, though.

Additionally, what tune would Hollywood and the media be singing if this was made by a white dude? And since it’s not made by a white dude, is the director getting a free pass? Why do we have to even ask these questions in 2020?

While I think this isn’t “pedo candy” (or why it isn’t intended to be) is due to the fact that these moments don’t happen often in the overall running time of the picture. I highly doubt that the director had that intention. I think she wanted to make something personal but didn’t realize that she was doing the same thing she wanted to expose as a problem. You don’t clear a flood by hosing it down and someone else working on the picture or producing it should’ve stepped in.

It also doesn’t help how Netflix initially marketed this film. They’ve since apologized and removed their pedo-tastic poster but the damage was done and it makes you wonder about the suits at Netflix making these decisions. As you can see above, the film’s original poster wasn’t offensive or provocative.

So yeah, I get the pushback but I’ve never been a fan of puritans of any kind. While I’ve gone on Twitter to chime in on the film’s marketing in the US market, I didn’t feel like I had a right to comment on a film I hadn’t seen. But we live in a time where everyone is outraged about everything without actually having the full context. That’s the main reason I felt like I needed to watch the movie when I’m surrounded by those trashing it or talking it up without actually watching it.

Any critic that tells you that this is anything more than “meh” is a shill, however. While that’s my opinion, from my point-of-view, my opinion is fact.

In the end, without the controversy, this is a completely forgettable film. While I would’ve liked to have learned more about the Senegalese experience in France, I was left with a mostly boring movie that felt aimless and didn’t effectively make its point or develop its main character in any sort of meaningful way. In fact, this film does the opposite of what it set out to do.

Rating: 5/10
Pairs well with: other coming of age movies from Europe, I guess. I don’t watch a lot of those.

Film Review: Bad Boys for Life (2020)

Also known as: Bad Boys 3 (working title)
Release Date: January 7th, 2020 (Berlin premiere)
Directed by: Adil & Bilall
Written by: Chris Bremner, Peter Craig, Joe Carnahan
Based on: characters by George Gallo
Music by: Lorne Balfe
Cast: Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Paola Núñez, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexander Ludwig, Charles Melton, Jacob Scipio, Kate del Castillo, Nicky Jam, Joe Pantoliano, Theresa Randle, DJ Khaled, Michael Bay (cameo)

Columbia Pictures, 2.0 Entertainment, Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer Films, Overbrook Entertainment, Sony Pictures Releasing, 124 Minutes

Review:

“Do you want your legacy to be muscle shirts and body counts?” – Detective Marcus Burnett

I thought it took way too long to get Bad Boys II but holy shit, this took a hell of a lot longer, coming out nearly seventeen years after that picture and a quarter of a century after the first movie!

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence still look good though and they’ve definitely still got it in them to give us another solid buddy cop flick.

I certainly enjoyed this, although it is the weakest of the three Bad Boys movies. But it’s still a worthwhile sequel that changed the lives of the characters in significant ways, which could set up interesting sequels, assuming they don’t wait too damn long next time.

While we should realistically be up to Bad Boys IX by now, I guess we’ve got to take what we can get but at least what we got here was pretty damn satisfactory.

The film gets right into the action and the comedy. It feels like we never left these guys, even if nearly two decades have passed. We also get Joe Pantoliano and Theresa Randle back but I was a bit disappointed that Tea Leoni didn’t show up or at least have her character mentioned because knowing her whereabouts after her good performance in the original movie would be nice.

Anyway, the film sees Will Smith’s Mike become the target in a revenge plot carried out by the son of a female Mexican kingpin that fancies herself a witch. We also learn that she is one of Mike’s ex-girlfriends and that their fling lines up with the age of her son. Spoiler alert: the witch’s kid is also Mike’s kid and Mike has to try and stop the guy from causing anymore harm while also trying to convince the kid that he didn’t know of his existence and that he wants to let him into his life.

Martin Lawrence’s Marcus is still the family man but he’s sick of all this shit, just like the well-aged Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon films. Marcus wants Mike to stop being reckless and to start cherishing his life, so that the two friends can eventually retire in peace and live their lives as best buds after their careers.

The film also introduces a cool SWAT-like squad that Mike starts working with. The squad is led by another one of Mike’s ex-girlfriends but also features several good characters that add a lot to the film and who also mesh well with the main characters and their chemistry.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this film, as it’s been so long since the last one that I never thought a third one would even materialize. But man, I was pleasantly surprised and it actually made me hope for a fourth one, which has more or less been confirmed since this came out and performed really well.

Rating: 7.5/10
Pairs well with: the two other Bad Boys films, as well as other buddy cop classics like the Lethal Weapon movies and television show, as well as the Beverly Hills Cop film series.

Film Review: Ouija Shark (2020)

Release Date: March 7th, 2020 (Toronto premiere)
Directed by: Brett Kelly (as Scott Patrick)
Written by: David A. Lloyd
Cast: Christina Roman, Zoe Towne, Robin Hodge, John Migliore, Peter Whitaker

Wide Eye Releasing, 81 Minutes

Review:

“One of those movies you watch until the end because you’re convinced it must get better…. But it doesn’t…….This was by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen for a while!Do not bother….This Film is So-So-Very-Very-BAD!” – a user review from IMDb

The above user review from IMDb is pretty spot on, bad grammar and all because Ouija Shark doesn’t even deserve a grammatically correct response.

Man, this movie is shit. I only watched it because I was immensely bored and figured I’d watch this new, 2020 movie that was made by a director that deliberately makes bad movies.

That being said, I half expected it to have some sort of redeeming value, as self-aware bad movies tend to capitalize off of that self-awareness.

This absolute turd, however, doesn’t even try. Sure, it attempts to be hokey and funny in spots but it all falls flat and you’re left shaking your head wondering what you did in your life that brought you to the point were you actually rented a film like Ouija Shark.

This is atrociously acted with some of the worst special effects I’ve ever seen. And even if all that’s deliberate, nothing is really done to fine tune it with any sort of wink to the audience who are in on what’s supposed to be a joke.

Eh, whatever, fuck this movie. I need those 81 minutes back.

Rating: 1/10
Pairs well with: staring at asphalt while breathing in traffic exhaust.

TV Review: Fear City: New York vs. The Mafia (2020)

Original Run: July 22nd, 2020
Created by: Dimitri Doganis, Bart Layton, Adam Hawkins, Jon Liebman
Directed by: Sam Hobkinson
Cast: Rudy Giuliani, various

Brillstein Entertainment Partners, Raw Television, Netflix, 3 Episodes, 44-62 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

I watched this on a recommendation by a friend. I was glad I did though, as I might not have known about it, as I rarely even login to Netflix anymore.

The title is pretty self-explanatory but to delve beyond that, this specifically talks about how guys like Rudy Giuliani, other lawyers and the FBI worked at bringing down the big crime families in New York City during the mid-’80s.

The show features a lot of talking head interviews by the people who were there, as they recount all the key events and developments that led to the collapse of organized crime and how their efforts changed how mob rule would be fought against forever.

Overall, this is engaging and packed full of so many great stories that I was pretty captivated by it from start to finish. In fact, I binged through it in one sitting but it is also only three episodes long.

I’d like to see this series continue in the future, maybe looking at how organized crime was fought in different cities or regions.

Rating: 7.5/10
Pairs well with: other recent crime documentaries, many others are also found on Netflix.

Film Review: The New Mutants (2020)

Also known as: Growing Pains (working titles), X-Men: The New Mutants (alternative title)
Release Date: August 26th, 2020 (Belgium, Spain, France, Poland, Portugal)
Directed by: Josh Boone
Written by: Josh Boone, Knate Lee
Based on: New Mutants by Chris Claremont, Bob McLeod
Music by: Mark Snow
Cast: Maisie Williams, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Heaton, Blu Hunt, Henry Zaga, Alice Braga, Adam Beach, Happy Anderson, Marilyn Manson (voice)

Marvel Entertainment, Sunswept Entertainment, Genre Films, Twentieth Century Fox, 98 Minutes

Review:

“Demon Bear! Let’s play a game!” – Illyana Rasputin

With two-to-three years worth of delays, Fox selling to Disney and everything else crazy that has been going on in the world, The New Mutants finally got released. I’m just glad it came out, after all this time, and that I got to see it in the theaters. Thankfully, it wasn’t simply dumped onto a streaming service, where it would’ve been treated as a complete afterthought.

Still, it’s hard to tell which version of the film we got. There were supposed to be re-shoots but they never happened, due to the Fox-Disney deal. Also, this was rumored to be pushing for an R-rating but it came out as PG-13. That probably has more to do with Disney now owning it, as opposed to representing the ideal vision of the director and the original studio.

With everything working against it, the finished product isn’t as big of a mess as I thought it would be. The editor definitely got a coherent film out of the material but it does feel light and a bit skeletal.

From what I understand, the re-shoots were intended to flesh out the story a bit more and to add more emphasis on the horror elements, as the success of the Deadpool movies led Fox to believe that R-rated comic book films could work.

As a massive fan of Illyana Rasputin a.k.a. Magik, it was incredible seeing her come to life in a live-action picture. It was even cooler seeing her face-off with the Demon Bear. It took something from my eleven year-old mind and brought it to life. And frankly, that moment alone made this film feel special to an old school New Mutants fan like myself. Plus, Anya Taylor-Joy was perfect as Illyana. I really hope this isn’t the only time she plays the character but I don’t have my hopes up.

It was also great seeing these other characters come to life in the flesh. I thought that Cannonball was a little weak but the other four characters came across pretty well. I wish that they actually expanded on their origins a bit more but we did get enough to start to understand them. Unfortunately, a sequel is doubtful even though two more films were planned before Fox was sold.

Overall, though, the movie is just okay. It feels more like a two-part pilot episode for a show that could be solid. It doesn’t feel like a film able to stand on its own though and the quality of it feels more like high budget television than something that is a part of the X-Men film universe. While that’s not necessarily a bad thing, the movie just looks noticeably cheaper and visually smaller than the series of films it is supposed to connect to.

However, this is all presented in a way where it could redirect itself and connect to the already well established Marvel Cinematic Universe. I highly doubt that will happen, though, as it wasn’t made by Disney and it has a much darker tone than their MCU films.

While it sucks that this didn’t come out in the final form it was intended to with the long-term plans kept intact, it’s still an interesting movie for the superhero genre. It’s vastly different than other films in the genre and it proves that you can dabble with other genres like horror and make it work.

I was really looking forward to the followups, as the plot outlines for the second and third chapters seemed really interesting and made way for much larger stories in scope. Plus, this film hints at the eventual appearance of Mister Sinister, who is long overdue in the X-Men film universe. However, that universe now belongs to another studio and will probably be completely rebooted to fit within their own plans going forward.

The New Mutants should have been an R-rated picture that upped the ante more than the finished product did but I guess we’ll never know what that was or could have been. Still, it’s worth a watch for those who liked the comic book series in the pre-Rob Liefeld era.

Rating: 6.25/10
Pairs well with: the other Fox era X-Men films, as well as dark, coming of age superhero films like Brightburn and Chronicle.

Film Review: Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

Also known as: Bill & Ted 3 (informal title)
Release Date: August 27th, 2020 (Malaysia)
Directed by: Dean Parisot
Written by: Chris Matheson, Ed Solomon
Music by: Mark Isham
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, Kristen Schaal, Samara Weaving, Brigette Lundy-Paine, Anthony Carrigan, Erinn Hayes, Jayma Mays, Holland Taylor, Kid Cudi, William Sadler, Jillian Bell, Hal Landon Jr., Beck Bennett, Amy Stoch, George Carlin (posthumous cameo), Kelly Carlin, Dave Grohl (cameo), “Weird Al” Yankovic (cameo), Guillermo Rodriguez (cameo)

Dugan Entertainment, Dial 9, Hammerstone Studios, 91 Minutes

Review:

“Seriously, Uncle Ted. When did you get so excellent on Theremin? Your playing rivaled, and I’m not kidding, Clara Rockmore!” – Thea

Man, I really wanted to like this movie. I even went as far as to try and convince myself it was good and was going to pan out okay in the end. It didn’t. In fact, it pretty much killed that part of me that wants another one of these vanity, nostalgia projects to succeed.

Well, I guess Cobra Kai is just a once in a lifetime miracle. But maybe that’s because it wasn’t about vanity and it was just about bringing to life a good, fresh idea without trying to replicate what came before it.

As far as Bill & Ted stories go, this is just more of the same but it feels like a really weak attempt at taking the framework that came before it and just trying to paint-by-numbers while changing a few details.

In the case of this movie, we’re rounding up musical legends from history, while also seeing Bill & Ted travel back to hell as well as alternate futures where they confront different versions of their older selves. So there’s two adventures but it essentially takes the two adventures from the two previous movies and mashes them together in a way.

The journey to round up musicians is undertaken by Bill & Ted’s daughters, who are named after them and act too much like them that they just come across as gender swapped caricatures. Now I can’t trash their performances, as both girls were charismatic and likable but it just felt like the writers would rather lean on familiarity than trying to create characters that were more unique and didn’t just worship and emulate their dads on every level.

In regards to the first two movies, they always felt like a perfect story with a great, definitive ending. This film undoes that by retconning the ending and pretty much ignoring it and the newspaper headlines that appeared in the credits. Granted, the writers claim that they didn’t write those headlines and they were made as jokes by the people who did the credits. Still, fans, for decades, have kind of taken them as canon and why shouldn’t they?

In this film, we learn that Bill & Ted are old losers and that they’re incapable of fulfilling their destiny. What we also learn, is that it actually isn’t their destiny and, as is the trend with many modern sequels and reboots, the men are dumb idiots and its the female characters that have to come in and save the day. It’s not that I have a problem with female heroes, I just have a problem with downgrading already established heroes and brushing them aside because Hollywood feels guilty about shitting on women for years. Even though we’ve had women heroes and badasses for decades. But I digress.

This film was underwhelming and a disappointment. I wouldn’t call it intentionally “woke” but I do think it’s a product of its time and that it was influenced by the shitty, mundane art of the modern era. These characters and the fans deserved better.

At the same time, I don’t hate this film. It exists, it’s okay, not great and I don’t have to watch it again. Honestly, as a long-time fan of the film series, I’m just always going to see the first two movies as the complete story. It always was before this and that shouldn’t change just because ’80s nostalgia is in and the entertainment industry has to milk its teats until they bleed.

And of course, Rotten Tomatoes likes this.

Rating: 5.5/10
Pairs well with: its two predecessors, as well as the animated series and really awful live-action show.

Film Review: Siren Head (2020)

Release Date: June 18th, 2020
Directed by: Shutter Authority
Written by: Shutter Authority
Based on: creature created by Trevor Henderson

Shutter Authority, 4 Minutes

Review:

Siren Head is a very short, experimental film created by the Indian YouTube account Shutter Authority.

This was mainly created to test out some cool motion capture technology but it’s pretty well done for the filmmakers just tinkering around with the technology. Additionally, the CGI model of the creature is pretty cool and convincing despite the limitations of the production.

Now this also has over 17 million views in just about two weeks, which is damn impressive.

I came across this accidentally while researching something else on YouTube but I’m glad I checked it out and the main reason I’m reviewing it is to bring attention to it and it’s creators, as they experiment with CGI models and have made some neat little films. Many of those films feature Godzilla, one of my all-time favorite characters.

This also sent me down a rabbit hole, trying to learn more about this monster and its creator, artist Trevor Henderson. He’s made a lot of cool art pieces featuring many monsters that all feel like they’re heavily inspired by the Silent Hill and Siren video game series: two franchises that have terrified and captivated me over the years. You can check his work out here.

With as many mainstream and indie films that I review, I should probably spend a little more time shining a light on the cool things I find online by budding filmmakers just trying to get good at their craft while making things that are outside the box.

Rating: 6/10

 

Documentary Review: A Future WWE: The FCW Story (2020)

Release Date: March 8th, 2020
Cast: Sasha Banks, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Gerald Brisco, Charlotte Flair, Steve Keirn, Triple H, Seth Rollins, Bayley, Natalya, Baron Corbin, Corey Graves, Tom Prichard, Dusty Rhodes, Gordon Solie (archive footage)

WWE, 79 Minutes

Review:

This wasn’t a documentary I ever expected to see but I’m glad WWE made it, as it really showcases a lot of the modern stars that started a few years before NXT became WWE’s developmental brand.

Also, being that I’m from Florida and that this promotion was an homage to Championship Wrestling from Florida, which I grew up with, gave FCW a special place in my fanboy heart.

For those that don’t know, Florida Championship Wrestling was where WWE sent their young talent in an effort to teach them WWE’s style of the business. It was owned and ran by veteran, Steve Keirn, and also had other ring veterans on staff to teach these kids how to work and how to excel.

This was a neat piece on FCW simply because it interviewed several of the well-known stars that worked there. It allowed them to give insight into the company, their education and their earliest career struggles and accomplishments.

However, like all WWE produced documentaries, this felt like it was a fairly one-sided story and take on the subject matter. Obviously, it doesn’t talk to those who failed and only focuses on the success stories. Some of the failed talents are mentioned but they weren’t given this platform to talk about their experience.

For the most part, this was still engaging and entertaining and it was nice seeing this small part of WWE’s history get showcased.

Rating: 6.5/10
Pairs well with: other WWE behind the scenes style documentaries and their reality series Breaking Ground.

Film Review: Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)

Also known as: Birds of Prey (unofficial title), Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey (re-branded title)
Release Date: January 25th, 2020 (Mexico City premiere)
Directed by: Cathy Yan
Written by: Christina Hodson
Based on: characters by DC Comics
Music by: Daniel Pemberton
Cast: Margot Robbie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jurnee Smollett-Bell, Rosie Perez, Chris Messina, Ella Jay Basco, Ali Wong, Ewan McGregor, Steven Williams

Clubhouse Pictures, LuckyChap Entertainment, DC Entertainment, Kroll & Co. Entertainment, Warner Bros., 109 Minutes

Review:

“Here’s the thing, Romy baby: your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you. Just like they’re scared of Mr. J. But I’m the one they should be scared of! Not you, not Mr.J! Because I’m Harley Fucking Quinn!” – Harley Quinn

This movie’s title was so bad that they actually changed it after it was in theaters for only a week, where it didn’t perform up to expectations. But I don’t think that the stupid, pretentious, cutesy pie title was the only problem with the movie.

To start, I’ve never seen a motion picture be so self unaware. It tries so hard to be edgy, cool and original all while being a poor attempt at making a Deadpool movie for girls. It’s pretty obvious how blatantly this is trying to channel the Deadpool mojo that it deflates anything good within the picture.

Additionally, while this is visually stunning, overly vivid with a giallo style color palate, the choppy editing and amateur shot framing makes this feel like a 109 minute music video. And like all big studio movies that are trying to be cool, the music isn’t even that good, as it recycles exactly the same type of tunes you’d expect from yesteryear while also sprinkling in awful modern covers of classic hits that don’t really work. In short, it’s predictable as fuck.

When it comes to the characters, other than Harley Quinn, this film doesn’t really understand any of them. Who the fuck wrote this? Have they read a comic about any of these characters? I’m supposed to believe that this Cassandra Cain will eventually become a Batgirl? Not to be an asshole but they made her look like Rose Tico cosplaying as Short Round. That’s not the actresses fault, just like it wasn’t Kelly Marie-Tran’s fault that Rose Tico looked like a frumpy baked potato with the dumbest, most unappealing haircut in Star Wars history.

But look at this film’s version of Roman Sionis a.k.a. Black Mask, a villain I have always loved. This is absolutely not who that character is. Granted, I enjoyed Ewan McGregor in this, as well as the character, but he didn’t need to be Black Mask, he could’ve just been an eccentric Gotham City mob boss. There is nothing about him that even resembles Black Mask, other than he puts on a Black Mask for about ten minutes before taking it off again.

Ewan McGregor was the best thing in this film, which is funny when you think about it, as this had a very clear agenda. But I’ll get to that further into this review.

On top of that, Victor Zsasz wasn’t Zsasv, Black Canary wasn’t Black Canary, Renee Montoya was only about halfway there and the Huntress was sort of accurate but completely unlikable and awkward.

Beyond that, this is a movie that doesn’t seem to know what it wants to say. Well, it is very clear that it wants to communicate that all men are pieces of shit, as every single man in this movie are portrayed as pieces of shit, even the fatherly old Asian guy that lets Harley live upstairs.

So the man hate is clear, which is odd because no matter how hard this movie tries to appeal to women, it’s audience was still mostly men. But this is typical of the agenda-driven Hollywood nowadays. But hey, maybe this COVID-19 shit will be a wake up call for studios to actually give a shit about what their audiences want. Probably not, though, as their heads are so far up their ass that they are on a steady diet of their own shit.

The part of the message that isn’t clear is that this can’t decide between whether or not women should stick together or fuck each other over and go solo. I guess teaming up is all fun when you’re sticking it to the patriarchy but once the men are out of the way, they just act like the men they were trying to beat. It’s childish, boring, predictable and lame.

And like all things in entertainment that have this sort of pro-feminist agenda, the story wants to preach self-confidence and self-reliance but then it constantly has its characters telling each other that they’re cool and how much they are all each other’s besties. Is this what women are? Not in my experience but what do I know, I have a penis.

Anyway, confident, self-sufficient and badass women don’t need constant reassurance that they’re cool and likable. That’s not what confident, self-sufficient and badass is. But that’s what this movie is teaching the young girls who may see this picture.

For the first third of this film, I was really happy with its pacing and thought that it was flying by. But then, once you get to the part where the story starts jumping around in the timeline (another way it was trying to be Deadpool), things just went off the rails and the film became sloppy. There was no reason to do this and frankly, it’s one of the things I didn’t like about Deadpool. After this whole section of the film, the pacing didn’t pick up or recover and everything became a slog to get through.

I think that a lot of the problem with this movie is that it hired an inexperienced director. This is something that had the potential to be a massive franchise, featuring a big star playing a character that is one of the most popular in all of pop culture. But the studio didn’t take this seriously enough, so why should any of us?

It also didn’t help that the director, before this came out, was bragging about the heroes not using guns (they do) and just kicking the patriarchy’s ass. She also admitted to not being a fan of comics.

Maybe it’s time for these companies to start hiring creatives that know the material, are passionate about it and thus, want to make the best representation of what these characters and stories should be.

And they wonder why box office numbers were already decreasing before COVID-19.

Rating: 4.5/10
Pairs well with: the other lackluster DC Comics movies of recent memory.

TV Review: Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness (2020)

Original Run: March 20th, 2020
Created by: Chris Smith, Fisher Stevens, Eric Goode, Rebecca Chaiklin
Directed by: Eric Goode, Rebecca Chaiklin
Music by: Mark Mothersbaugh, John Enroth, Albert Fox, Robert Mothersbaugh
Cast: Joe Exotic, Carole Baskin, Bhagavan Antle, John Finlay, Rick Kirkham, John Reinke, Saff Saffery, Jeff Lowe, Howard Baskin, Travis Maldonado, Dillon Passage

Netflix, 7 Episodes, 41-48 Minutes (per episode)

Review:

I knew all about Joe Exotic and even though he’s a weird eccentric zoo keeper and wannabe politician that tried to pay someone to commit murder, I wasn’t super excited to have to sit through an entire documentary miniseries about it.

Being that everyone and I mean everyone is talking about this damn show, I figured I’d just give the first episode or two a watch to see if it’s all that it’s cracked up to be. Well, I’ve got to say, it sucked me in.

Granted, this could be due to not having a whole lot to do during the COVID-19 pandemic but the real reason this latched onto my mind is due to all the other characters in this story. The majority of these people are all eccentric, batshit crazy and have major skeletons in their closets.

Sure, I knew who Carole Baskin was but I never really deep dived into her past, as this documentary does. I was also aware of Bhagavan Antle but I didn’t know that he basically ran a fucking zoo harem. Add in all the other colorful weirdos and criminals and this becomes one of the most intriguing and weirdest true crime sagas that I’ve ever seen unfold.

This is compelling television and it tries to tell all sides of the story. It appears to be mostly fair to all parties involved but I can see how almost all of them will have a problem with how they were portrayed here, as it doesn’t paint a nice picture for nearly any of the participants. Point being, this doesn’t seem biased in one direction or the other and maybe these are all just shitty people.

Only a few of the key or even minor players here came out looking kind of okay. And if anything, this exposes just how insane this world is and it certainly doesn’t do any favors for the big cat and exotic animal industries. But I’m okay with that, as these places really shouldn’t exist and humankind should work towards not keeping wild animals in captivity, unless it is to actually help and study animals without using them as attractions or personal pets.

In the end, none of these people really seem to give a shit about the animals they claim they’re doing this for.

But I’m also not here to rant on about the politics of this.

So as a show, this is pretty effective and informative entertainment. Now I can’t say that this is effective because of how it is presented, I just think that the story itself is so fascinating on its own that it made the documentary filmmakers’ jobs easier. Granted, I’m also not saying their not skilled, this is just a unique and bonkers story full of strange, oddball, dark personalities that the show just sort of sells itself without any need for extra frills and post-production or narrative trickery.

Rating: 7.75/10
Pairs well with: Joe Exotic’s crazy campaign videos.