Film Review: Barbarian Queen (1985)

Also known as: Queen of the Naked Steel (alternative title)
Release Date: April 26th, 1985
Directed by: Hector Olivera
Written by: Howard R. Cohen
Music by: Christopher Young
Cast: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea, Frank Zagarino, Dawn Dunlap, Victor Bo, Andrea Barbieri

Rodeo Productions, Aries Cinematografica Argentina, 74 Minutes

Review:

“You are much too beautiful a girl to let yourself be broken into food for the royal dogs.” – Arrakur

This is one of those super low budget, low quality Argentinian sword and sorcery flicks from the ’80s that was trying to capitalize off of the craze. However, this isn’t one of the Roger Corman ones, so its quality is even worse.

Probably knowing that this was going to be a shit movie, the filmmakers leaned heavily into making this as sexy as possible with bringing in a whole crew of beauties that spent portions of the film wearing as little clothes as possible.

I wouldn’t quite call this full-on sexploitation, as it’s all pretty softcore stuff but being a kid in the ’80s, this was certainly a film I didn’t mind watching in an effort to appreciate the anatomy of the female form. I was an aspiring comic book artist, so stuff like this was just educational… really.

Anyway, this featured Lana Clarkson and Dawn Dunlap in it and those women had my heart when I was just a wee li’l lad.

Sadly, beyond the beautiful women, there just isn’t much here that’s worthwhile. It’s a pretty generic and paint-by-number sword and sorcery plot. Bad guy, magic shit, warriors clashing steel but strangely this was really lacking in the monster and beast department. And frankly, a lack of monsters and beasts should always be a no-no in a flick like this.

In the end, I’d call this a pointless and wretched film. However, I can’t label something as wretched when it is full of so much unrestrained beauty.

Rating: 2/10

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