Film Review: Battle For the Lost Planet (1986)

Also known as: Galaxy (original title), Galaxy Destroyer (Spain, Germany)
Release Date: January 1st, 1986
Directed by: Brett Piper
Written by: Brett Piper
Music by: Zon Vern Pyles
Cast: Matt Mitler, Denise Coward, Joe Gentissi, Bill MacGlaughlin, Helene MIchele Martin

Horror Enterprises, 91 Minutes, 101 Minutes (Blu-ray cut)

Review:

“You wrecked my goddamn car and you killed my freaking broad!” – Mad Dog Kelly

This is another movie that I needed to clean out of my queue, as it’s languished there for a few years now. I didn’t have a lot of urge to see it but it was recommended by a friend when we were talking about the countless Mad Max ripoffs during the ’80s.

This is kind of a weird mix of space opera and post-apocalyptic action film with both of those things being done really poorly.

However, it’s also a perfect mix of bad with over-the-top performances that helps make this enjoyable if you’re really into hardcore ’80s sci-fi schlock.

Not much in this movie makes sense and it’s poorly edited. For instance, there’s a scene where the main dude is working out on his spaceship and there’s food fragments splashed all over the white walls behind him. Then in the following scene, we see him throw the food against the wall.

The plot starts with the main dude evading capture and stealing a spaceship from an Earth military base. Once in space, the planet is decimated by a massive alien attack. The main dude then floats through space for five years until he can return. Once he does, he has to fight of mutant humans, pig-faced aliens and a gang of Mad Max villain wannabes. Luckily, the leader of the gang, an obvious NYC Italian named Mad Dog, decides to help the hero take down the pig aliens.

The special effects are stupendously bad. Even for the absolute lack of budget this film had, they’re really bad. At the same time, the effects give this movie an otherworldly and bizarre look that works for me. It won’t work for most people but I do enjoy seeing what filmmakers can come up with with little to no resources and no CGI to fall back on.

For the average Joe, this movie is absolute crap. For the schlock aficionado, there’s a lot of stuff here to appreciate.

Rating: 4.25/10
Pairs well with: other extremely low budget, straight-to-VHS ’80s sci-fi films.