Retro Relapse: The Reality of Not Giving A Fuck

RETRO RELAPSE is a series of older articles from various places where I used to write before Talking Pulp.

*Written in 2015.

I don’t give a fuck.

To some people, that immediately makes me look like an asshole. To other people, they want to scream “fuck yeah!” because they love a motherfucker that doesn’t give a fuck – just like them. Both of these extremes misunderstand what it means to truly not give a fuck.

When I say that I don’t give a fuck, it means that I don’t really care what people think about what I have to say or about who I am.

Truthfully, we all care to some degree what people think but that boils down to which people exactly.

In my case, I care about what my family (well, most of them) and my close friends think. Everyone else doesn’t really matter to me because looking at the big picture, they’re mostly insignificant and I don’t have the time to pander and cater to everyone nor would I ever want to. My time is precious, as is my sanity.

Many want to use the term “I don’t give a fuck” to justify the fact that they are generally pretty shitty people that are tired of being judged so they build up some faux tough exterior of being even bigger douchebags that have to constantly let everyone know, that they don’t give a fuck. Or they have been hurt by people and can’t function like a grown ass adult.

Well, if you have to keep telling everyone, apparently you do give a fuck. You’re just a jerk that is saying that you are going to do whatever the hell you want and you don’t care how that effects other people. Not giving a fuck isn’t a license to be a shithead.

Those people lack confidence and respect. To truly “not give a fuck” only really comes with confidence and respect for yourself and those worth giving a fuck about. If you are confident in yourself and your abilities, as you traverse through life in the way you best see fit, you don’t give a fuck about the bullshit and the bullshit people because they hinder you from doing what you need to do. You have to just do you. The real motherfuckers will have your back; the leeches will just pull you down.

Getting back to confidence, reminding everyone about how much you don’t give a fuck with a daily meme on social media is not a sign of confidence. However, it is a sign of a lack of confidence.

But the phrase “I don’t give a fuck” is fun to say and it is catchy. Everyone says it when they feel the need arises. I get it, some days suck walrus dick and you are frustrated. But you are frustrated because you give a fuck. Saying you don’t give a fuck is just you trying to convince yourself, through an audience, that you don’t give a fuck when you do give a fuck. But it’s cool, we’ve all got an inner gangsta rapper in us. I say “fuck” a lot because I like the word. I probably like it because a tiny Ice Cube is chilling in my voice box ready to explode against whatever is oppressing me that day.

To those offended by those who don’t give a fuck, you may be right in seeing most as assholes. The ones who say it a lot are pretty big fuck givers. Those who truly don’t give a fuck, don’t have to say it. Why? Because they don’t give a fuck. And if you don’t like those real motherfuckers, it’s cool because they don’t give a fuck.

Now there are instances where it must be stated. Like if some jack off nitwit is annoying the fuck out of you and you have to put your foot down, lock with their eyes and bluntly state very clearly and authoritatively, “I’m going to say this one time motherfucker, I don’t give a fuck.”

My not giving a fuck is often times faced with adversity because I am pretty blunt about shit on most days. If I am not blunt, it is almost always out of respect for someone I do care about, as my bluntness may effect them in some way. Like I have to bite my tongue when a relative or significant other of a good friend is being a fucktard. I have to bite my tongue when it is something that pertains to my job. Why? Because I give a fuck about my loved ones and my livelihood.

But when you state that people who vape or ride around on those Alien Wheel things are fucking retards, those people get all butt hurt about it. People don’t like bluntness, especially if it comes with the confidence of not giving a fuck. Those people give a fuck, which is also why they jump on whatever shit ass fad is the cool, bizarre thing to do that week.

So there are things I do give a fuck about. Apart from certain people and paying my rent on time, the other things I give a fuck about are my passions. I give a fuck about the positive things that help me reach and obtain my goals. I give a fuck about the general state of the world. I give a fuck about the girl I’m trying to have sex with, unless I discover that she is an asshole or has chlamydia. I give a fuck about music. I give a fuck about good beer. I give a fuck about writing for those who actually read my shit. I give a fuck about where I buy my meat. I give a fuck about my tribalistic attachment to the Chicago Cubs, Chicago Blackhawks and New Orleans Saints. I give a fuck about movies. Everything else is just shit I don’t have time to give a fuck about or something I forgot to list.

Anyway, that’s it. If you think I’m an asshole… well, do I really need to say it?

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