Video Game Review: Athena (NES)

Athena is a game I hated vehemently when I was a kid. But since there are other games I didn’t like that I actually enjoyed, after revisiting them, as an adult, I thought that giving this another shot was years overdue.

Sadly, it’s still a frustrating, infuriating piece of shit and one of the worst SNK games of the era.

While it’s a beautiful looking game with luscious landscapes, cool character designs and a whole plethora of interesting enemies, it is bogged down by absolute shit mechanics and controls.

The worst thing about the game is that there really isn’t a clear objective and I still can’t figure out how the hell to kill the first boss, as you become easily overwhelmed and can’t seem to hit him without his longer reach killing you with one quick hit.

Additionally, the level design is mind boggingly bad.

I wanted this to be good. It looks great, visually speaking. I just thought that maybe there was something I missed when I was a kid that if I played it now, I’d be able to figure out and have a more enriching and pleasurable experience.


Athena is still a steaming pile of crap obscured by colorful and delightful window dressing.

Rating: 3/10
Pairs well with: hitting yourself in the head with a gavel, which you should never do.

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