Video Game Review: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (NES)

Hasbro really missed the boat in not getting a G.I. Joe game out for the original Nintendo a few years earlier than this.

The main reason is that by the time that this was developed, G.I. Joe was already passed its peek and the toys and figures were starting to get weird, uninspiring designs that were made even worse by garish color schemes and baffling designs.

This game is littered with what was the most up-to-date versions of G.I. Joe characters and vehicles.

Point being, this would have been a lot better had it been released in the early era, around season one in the TV show continuity. This way all the Joes and members of Cobra had their more classic look and the boss battles would have been made up of the cool iconic Cobra vehicles every boy in the ’80s loved, as opposed to these fluorescent, bizarrely designed messes that can’t come close to being as cool as the H.I.S.S. Tank, the Moccasin, the F.A.N.G. or the Cobra Rattler. Hell, even if this was made to tie to the second season era, we could’ve gotten the Night Raven or the Thunder Machine.

Instead, we got a game that represented the DiC era of the cartoon, which is where everything turned to shit.

I mean, do you really want to fight Raptor, Road Pig, Metalhead and Voltar? Or would you rather fight Storm Shadow, Firefly, Scrap Iron, Major Bludd, the Baroness and Zartan? Gold headed Destro? Fuck you. Battle armor Cobra Commander? Fuck you too.

The game is made worse by the fact that it is also full of garish colors and clunky looking graphics. Some of the key characters aren’t even the right color. For instance, Metalhead is purple when the character actually wears mostly black with red and yellow accents.

The game mechanics aren’t great either. The controls aren’t horrible but they’re a bit wonky and sometimes seem unresponsive.

Also, the level design is really basic, even in the maze-like fortresses where you have to strategically place bombs.

The sprites are also really tiny and kind of blocky looking.

Ultimately, this is a game that deserved to be better and had it been, it would’ve made Hasbro a lot more money.

Rating: 5.25/10
Pairs well with: it’s sequel, which is mostly just more of the same.