Retro Relapse: The Offended Man

RETRO RELAPSE is a series of older articles from various places where I used to write before Talking Pulp.

*Written in 2014.

Since starting this website just weeks ago, I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from readers online, friends on Facebook, people on Twitter and friends and acquaintances in my personal life. What I’ve been finding is that my posts that fall into the realm of masculinity and relationship areas have been received differently from people of different sexes.

I’ve been finding great support from the female side of the coin, which is awesome, as a lot of my writings deal with men needing to man up and find their balls, for lack of a better descriptive term. Weirdly, it has been the men that have pushed back on this. Well, not all men but there have been several who have found some of my posts “offensive” and “sexist”. My, oh my… how the mighty have fallen.

My article “Ladies, I’m Not That Guy” seems to have upset a portion of the male Internet populace. Is it because I tell it like it is from my point-of-view or that I call men out for being pussies or because I seem to be indirectly calling for men to unite against militant third-wave feminism?

No, the reason why these dime store saps are offended is because they are the guys I mentioned in my article; the ones who are so indoctrinated with modern societal bullshit that they are placating to pussy that they are too timid to even try and claim. They’re not mad at me and my words, they are just trying to cover my mouth in an effort to not upset the herd. They are chronic apologists who feel the need to hush up all outspoken men who might be stepping out of some fictitious boundary of political correctness because embracing oneself is a crime if it just might offend someone else. Well, you sir, offend me.

These guys are so busy trying to do right after they’ve been told that their sex has done so much wrong. These offended men are male feminists. Really, they’re just pussy puppets who might as well have a hand up their ass because they’ll never get laid, at least not from a decent woman.

So why do most women seem to like what I’ve said? Well, they aren’t pussies. They like and respect the truth and a dude who isn’t just kissing their ass in a sad attempt to win them over. How’s that working out for you ass kissers, by the way? Women don’t want you to always agree with them and to bow down like a well-trained dog. They want you to get the fuck up off of the ground and stand for something real. Hell, challenge them on their bullshit.

No, I am not some chick magnet, but I do okay. I’m not the best looking guy but I don’t give a fuck. I am who I am and I carry myself the way I want to carry myself and that’s why I do alright for myself. There’s that old adage that says, “Just be yourself.” Well, it’s not bullshit. Just be your-fucking-self and stop being what you think women want you to be because it doesn’t work and you suck at it. You’re not fooling anyone but yourself. Seriously dude, get off your moral high horse because you look like Prince Charming’s crybaby little brother.

I hate to sound like a dick but ultimately, I am just trying to help you idiots. So I’ll say it again, man the fuck up.