Film Review: R.O.T.O.R. (1987)

Also known as: Blue Steel (alternate title), P.O.T.O.P. (Russia), Robo Police (Japan)
Release Date: October, 1987 (MIFED – Italy)
Directed by: Cullen Blaine
Written by: Cullen Blaine, Budd Lewis
Music by: David Adam Newman
Cast: Margaret Trigg, Richard Gesswein, Jayne Smith

Imperial Entertainment, 87 Minutes

Review:

“Let me tell you something, mister. You fire me and I’ll make more noise than two skeletons making love in a tin coffin, brother.” – Coldyron

Thank god that there’s a RiffTrax version of this film, otherwise it would have been impossible for me to get through without having to put myself into a shit hammered stupor.

It’s baffling how bad this Robocop wannabe is. Sure, this may have gone into production before Robocop but it is basically a really, really poor ripoff of that film’s premise. But cyborgs were all the rage in the ’80s and at least this robot cop was more T-800 than Alex Murphy. Because as much as I love Robocop, killer robots are more exciting to watch. Well, unless it is this killer robot who just looks like a background character from CHiPS.

So this “robocop” is created by an evil coporation. Sound familiar? He is sent into the field but he is a cold blooded killing machine. The hero is a blonde mulleted California cowboy type and he used to work on the R.O.T.O.R. project but was fired because the evil corporation didn’t like that the guy wasn’t pure evil like them. So there is action, people getting merked by Joe Robot and fabulous ’80s action stud hair.

There is also a horrendously bad series of stop motion animations of the robot skeleton apparently showing off its martial arts moves but it looks like something from a Kraftwerk music video.

This is also full of ’80s action movie cheese but not the good kind of cheese. It’s more like expired cottage cheese that someone dumped raisins into instead of a nice sharp cheddar.

It should go without saying that the acting is abysmal and that the writing is a clusterfuck of biblical proportions. The direction and cinematography aren’t any better and in fact, the RiffTrax guys made a joke about how you’re supposed to use lighting in your movie.

R.O.T.O.R. most definitely has to go through the Cinespiria Shitometer. The results read, “Type 7 Stool: Watery, no solid pieces. Entirely Liquid.”

Rating: 2.25/10
Pairs well with: Deadly PreyGymkataRaw Force and Hands of Steel but this is probably worse than all of those films.

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