Film Review: Robot Holocaust (1986)

Also known as: I robot conquistano il mondo (Italy)
Release Date: April 14th, 1986 (Italy)
Directed by: Tim Kincaid
Written by: Tim Kincaid
Music by: Richard Band, Joel Goldsmith (both uncredited, stock music)
Cast: Kevin Van Hentenryck, Terri Susan Smith, Beverly Bonner

Beyond Infinity, Faso Film, Taryn Productions Inc., 79 Minutes

Review:

This is quite literally one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Even its episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is really difficult to sit through. Should it be run through the Cinespiria Shitometer? Of course! But in all honesty, this film may break the machine. It is worse than a Type 7 stool which is the worst category a film can fall into. Without even running it through the machine, I can say that Robot Holocaust is in a league of its own, a Type 8 stool, which will now be defined as “Death. Bloody. Stool is comprised of liquid mixed with rotten internal tissue.”

What is this movie about?

Well, it has robots, a barbarian and a bunch of horrible acting, awful situations and complete boredom.

The special effects are horrendous beyond belief. The robots look horrible. The costumes are horrible. Every-fucking-thing is absolutely and infinitely horrible.

This film is literally cinematic Ambien. Except it’s like some homemade street shit that gives you hives, clammy palms and stomach cancer. You keep falling asleep but the pain of the experience is so unbearable you can never get comfortable and truly snooze off.

You know what? Fuck this movie. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

Rating: 1/10