Film Review: Avalanche (1978)

Release Date: August 30th, 1978
Directed by: Corey Allen
Written by: Corey Allen, Gavin Lambert (as Claude Pola)
Based on: a story by Frances Doel
Music by: William Kraft
Cast: Rock Hudson, Mia Farrow, Robert Forster, Jeanette Nolan, Rick Moses, Steve Franken, Barry Primus

New World Pictures, 91 Minutes

Review:

Avalanche is exactly what you would expect it to be, a 1970s run-of-the-mill disaster flick where nothing happens for the first 75 percent of the picture other than developing characters you won’t care about when they are guaranteed to die before the show’s over.

In this particular picture, Rock Hudson plays a prick that bullies his wife around and doesn’t get why she can’t stand him. Mia Farrow plays the wife and she is probably more boring than she has ever been. Robert Forster is also there to be a possible second love interest for Mia Farrow but he just plays it cool because Robert Forster is always cool.

If you haven’t already guessed, the annoying people in this film are on the verge of being run over by an avalanche. As is customary in these pictures, one guy foresees the disaster and warns the important people. However, the important people ignore the warning because they “don’t want to create a panic”, which means, they want to collect money from the clueless saps who are in danger.

We get an hour or so of douchey people and their lame swanky parties until the avalanche finally kicks off. When it does, good bye ski resort!

The action isn’t very exciting and some of the avalanche special effects are pretty bad. The resort gets run over pretty quickly and it seems like we wasted an hour waiting for the destruction that was promised only to see it happen too quickly.

The film sort of makes up for that though, as everything after the avalanche becomes even more dangerous. I’m not sure why but the film makes everything after the avalanche a death trap. An ambulance, for no apparent reason, crashes through a building. Then we get things falling over, things exploding, bridges collapsing, people fall off of ski lifts only to miss the rescuers holding their safety trampoline thingy, it’s a real shit show.

Ultimately, this film is boring, lame and full of at least a couple gallons of liquid suck. It should definitely be run through the Cinespiria Shitometer. So let’s see the results… Well, what we have here is Avalanche categorized as a Type 5 stool, which is defined as “Soft blobs with clear-cut edges (passed easily).” Whatever, I couldn’t pass it that easily.

Rating: 3/10