Release Date: February 1987
Directed by: Jay Schlossberg-Cohen
Written by: Jay Schlossberg-Cohen, Philip Yordan
Music by: Fritz Heede
Cast: Eric Foster, Maurice Grandmaison, John Tallman, Griffin Casey, Faith Clift
Visto International Inc., 93 Minutes
There really has never been a good Bigfoot movie. So why should Cry Wilderness be any different? And honestly, I would have never heard of this shit sandwich if it wasn’t for it being featured in the new season of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
To be frank, this is another Cinespiria Shitometer worthy picture. When I run it through the machine it comes back as Type 5 stool, which is defined as “Soft blobs with clear-cut edges (passed easily).”
Cry Wilderness is somewhat entertaining though, due to just how bizarre it is. The story sees a boy befriend Bigfoot. He goes to his cave, which looks like the set of Nickelodeon’s Legends of the Hidden Temple, and leaves him Coca-Cola and gives him a radio.
Some people around town are scared about a dangerous creature in the wilderness. Some rich guy tasks the boy’s father to go hunt it down. The boy’s dad is partnered up with his Native American friend and some big game hunter douche from out of town. The boy knows that it is his friend Bigfoot that they are hunting, so he tries to save his friend. Also, Bigfoot comes to the boy in a weird dream and warns him that his father is in danger. We can only assume that the douche big game hunter is the villain and he’s out to basically kill anything and everything.
The Bigfoot suit is pretty horrendous. He basically looks like that old WWF wrestler the Giant Gonzalez. He’s best known as being one of the guys who got his ass kicked by the Undertaker at Wrestlemania during his 21-0 undefeated streak.
The movie is pretty uneventful but it isn’t boring. It has some charm and the kid is nowhere near as annoying as he could have been. The cast is pretty mediocre but it’s not like I was expecting much before delving into this cinematic turkey.
You do get to see a lot of dangerous animals throughout the film, which was cool. They were apparently well trained and didn’t maul any of the cast members as they appeared alongside them throughout the movie. There was a bear, a tiger, wolves, cougars and some other creatures.
Cry Wilderness isn’t a horrible snoozefest but it’s not anything to rush out and see, unless you’re a big MST3K fan.